University of Wollongong Research Online The Living Daylights Historical & Cultural Collections 10-16-1973 The Living Daylights 1(1) 16 October 1973 Richard Neville Editor Follow this and additional works at: https://ro.uow.edu.au/livingdaylights Recommended Citation Neville, Richard, (1973), The Living Daylights 1(1) 16 October 1973, Incorporated Newsagencies Company, Melbourne, vol.1 no.1, 16-22 October, 24p. https://ro.uow.edu.au/livingdaylights/1 Research Online is the open access institutional repository for the University of Wollongong. For further information contact the UOW Library: [email protected] The Living Daylights 1(1) 16 October 1973 Publisher Incorporated Newsagencies Company, Melbourne, vol.1 no.1, 16-22 October, 24p This serial is available at Research Online: https://ro.uow.edu.au/livingdaylights/1 emorial First Issue Vol.l No.l October 16-22 .1973 Plough In The Crap And Plant The Seeds IKE, presumably, many breakthroughs and utopian possi­ Lof our readers, we believe Get Marx high and ask Buddha bilities before us. that the existing social struc­ This is not meant self-important- ture is dramatically inadequate ly. The Living Daylights is a modest what he will do when the' proposal. In everyday terms, it boils to our desires. down to . ho hum yet another But criticism comes easily and, weekly newspaper. Just another as well as poke at the flesh of the developers come to bulldoze missile in the great media assault. present, The Living Daylights wants Early warning: We do not guarantee to evolve a vision of the future. We _______ his banyan tree_______ a weekly sensation. So why bother? invite you to This paper is not b^ing launched Despite the presumption of our to inculcate an appetite for ludi­ advertising department, this paper Because we believe that we can crous consumer products. The Liv­ is not aimed at the youth market unite a variety of unconventional ing Daylights is not a soap opera of (hardly, at your age — ad manager) ideas about the meaning of the weekly news, as so defined by a nor any other predefined clique of mysterious fabric of life as it exists man with a green eye shade who gullible malcontents. today in 1973, and our place within shouts stop press whenever a politi- In truth, we don’t know with it, both as individuals with soul and opens his mouth or model exactness what shape the paper will as Australians living in a country take. Part of its personality will be ravaged by a riot of idiotic and moulded through spontaneous in­ unnecessary hazards, mainly the re­ terplay with our readers. sult of greed and habit. In mundane actuality, The Liv­ Repressed and insular attitudes ing Daylights is little more than a are being increasingly challenged by few people in a room opening the thousands of committed and active mail. We have a hungry curiosity people, both within the dimensions about the world around and an of their own consciousness and in erratic optimism in the ideological the execution of their influence on social events. We plan to monitor, reflect and pursue this drama. p a g e 3 ' 1 [THE ARMY OF THE RARE UGGER the war, this is what life that the police should no longer use the returns to Australia’s shores later this month is really all about: In a period of BEATING UP THE system of “agent provocateurs” because it for a further donation of watches, is believed internationalB crisis it was pleasing to WEEK’S NEWS involved the men in blue in “morally degrad­ not to be carrying either cans of petrol or note that the real interest of the Aus­ ing behavior”. However, the report made no machine guns to persuade unbelievers to mention of Anglican vicars and boy scouts. tralian public centred around the set of embrace the true faith. nude photographs of a young lady * * * THE heterosexual boozer is up the ditch and a dog which appeared in a Mel­ LET them eat chemicals: The University of anyway: Dr Gordon Baker told the confer­ bourne newspaper. The young lady, Sydney has announced that it is developing a who is believed to have won an obscure ence of the Royal Australian College of Physicians in Melbourne that the hairy chest­ single cell protein for uses in animal food, and primitive tribal competition known ed, hard drinking symbol of Australian man­ which after a trial, will be upgraded for human consumption. Justifying this act of as the Miss Australia Quest, which its hood was gambling with his masculinity and bastardry, Dr D. G. MacLellan, of the uni­ sponsors claim benefits cripples who losing. Men whose drinking habits caused versity’s department of chemical engineering, should be rightly helped by any think­ cirrhosis o f the liver could find that their hastened to add that it would never replace ing government, is distraught and suing. hormone balance was being upset. This led steak and eggs in the Australian diet. It was to larger breasts and smaller balls. Now we Her mother is sedated, the photog­ just an alternative food. rapher unrepentant. Claims that the know why they don't like women in public dog has taken refuge in Queensland bars. are believed to be wildly inaccurate. WELL let them eat bloody locusts then: BRING back the press gang: Mr A. G. W. Immature locusts in bands of up to two miles fied system of issuing visas to tourists coming Keys, national secretary of the RSL, told the wide are infesting land and invading home­ NEXT WEEK we bomb Peking: Some 40 to Australia because of international tensions senate committee on foreign affairs and de­ steads over a wide area near Broken Hill in foolish Labor politicians, who are under the and difficulties “in certain areas”. That will fence that the time had passed when a New South Wales. delusion that their party was elected to a make sure the bloody wogs stay home and country could be defended by an army of position of power last year, have signed a fight it out. volunteers. “The principle of volunteerism is protest petition over Australia’s recognition an outmoded concept, both militarily and LET them eat nothing: A Victorian Country of Chile. In answer to this, a middle class morally. It is unfortunate that the govern­ party politician, sitting within the federal gentleman called Mr Whitlam will shortly pull GERALD who? (an old joke revisited): The ment repealed the National Service Act in­ parliament, said the Labor government’s so­ off his rubber mask, reveal himself as Ivan the god of the western world has nominated a stead of suspending it by administrative cial welfare commission was wicked because it Terrible, restore trade with Rhodesia, support gentleman known as Gerald Ford to play the action,” he said. It is understood that Mr was nothing more than more or less a “giant Portugal in Africa and tell South Africa that recently vacated role of John the Baptist. Mr Keys is above the age limit should national government machine with gigantic economic unless its sporting teams are all white they Ford in a brilliant and witty acceptance service be reintroduced once again. From this strength”. The man who made the charge, Mr will not be admitted to this country. speech said, “I am extremely grateful and stems his courage in the face of any enemy. R. Holten, said what was needed was not * * * terribly humble." The last player of this bit government help for the poor and afflicted, part, one Spiro T. Agnew, whose head was but an upgrading of the functions and facil­ THE END of the affair: Despite threatened resting on a plate outside the White House, JUST in case you’d forgotten that other war: ities of voluntary bodies who could do jobs help from the United States Israeli prime said not one word. A three year old girl narrowly missed being no government could do. Unfortunately most I minister, Ms Golda Meir announced she was * * * burnt alive when Belfast gunmen doused her voluntary bodies made people pray before prepared to go to a negotiating table without LET'S hear it for a loving God: The ethics with petrol and then set alight the cafe she they get their handout. any preconditions to end the current Middle was patronising with her grandmother. Such East scuffle. Her statement may have had and social questions committee of the Angli­ can church has continued in the grand nation­ action by Christ’s true followers showed that something to do with the fact that, for the such gentlemen as the Perfect Master, Guru HE'S alive and well and living in a Newcastle first time in recorded history, the Egyptians al tradition of poofter bashing by releasing a report stating that militant homosexuals Maharaj Ji, otherwise called by his followers state dockyard: A man who claimed to have look like winning. threaten the institution of marriage and of His Sublime Altitude, are really not so bad been an aide to the late Adolf Hitler has * * * society itself. Other choice items from the after all. The greatest crime that can be laid at been ordered by the crown employees appeal THE Americans may be arming the yids, but report include the statement that homosex­ the doorstep of the Perfect Master is a little board to be reinstated as a foreman at the we are doing our bit: The minister for uals’ actions should never be legalised, that all misunderstanding about gold watches on his Newcastle state dockyard. Early this year, the immigration, Mr A1 Grassby, has told federal poofs should abstain from homosexual acts return to mother India after a journey man, Bruno Koch, said he had helped to bum parliament that he has suspended the simpli- and try to “sexually reorient” themselves and through the United States.