TRANS NECROINTIMACIES: AFFECT, RACE, AND THE CHALKY GEOPOLITICS OF TRANS MEMORIALIZATION NAEL BHANJI A Dissertation Submitted to the Faculty of Graduate Studies in Partial Fulfilment of the Requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy Graduate Program in Gender, Feminist and Women’s Studies York University Toronto, ON September 2018 © Nael Bhanji, 2018 Abstract This dissertation explores the centrality of racialized trans death in structuring whiteness as emblematic of contemporary trans(normative) life. Taking my point of departure from the chalk outlines of dead bodies that frequently appear during rituals of trans memorialization, I analyze how the circulation of necropolitical affects coheres a form of trans-homonationalism within the Trans Day of Remembrance (TDOR). Held annually, TDOR events are global vigils that publicly mourn the victims of anti-trans violence. By analyzing narratives about trans- identified people of colour who have been memorialized by TDOR, I place the affective circulations of racialized, necropolitical violence—a phenomenon I have termed trans necrointimacies—in conversation with TDOR to illustrate how racial decay is central to the securitization of both whiteness and trans-homonationalism within the nation-state. Through participant observation at TDOR vigils in Toronto and New York, interviews with trans people of colour, and content-analysis of the TDOR website, this research highlights complex ways in which practices of trans memorialization circulate trans necrointimacies in the service of transnormative narratives of affective belonging within the nation-state. Tracing the affective worldings that occur through the spectacularization and consumption of ‘ordinary’ racialized trans death, this dissertation seeks to animate the seemingly disparate narratives of counter-terrorism and trans politics, the trans body and the terrorist body, and vigilant reactions and the vigil that re-acts ordinary violences. ii Acknowledgements It’s not often that we are afforded the opportunity to publicly thank the silent (and not-so- silent!) cheerleaders in our lives. I want to extend my heartfelt thanks and appreciation for my supervisor, Enakshi Dua. Prof. D, your empathy, compassion, keen wit, and gentle mentorship throughout this process has been a transformative experience. Thank you for your guidance and care, especially at times when I felt adrift, and for humouring my stubborn obsession with all things chalky. Your unwavering faith in my capacity as an academic has made its impact not just on my thinking and writing, but has provided a blueprint for the kind of ethical generosity that one can only hope to be able to emulate in their own teaching. David Murray, thank you for your close reading and for the astute and generous comments that have helped broaden my scope of thinking. Kenneth Little, thank you for the thoughtful curiosities that sparked my interest in sticky affects. Thank you to the external members of my defense committee, Allyson Mitchell, Allyson Lunny, and Gayatri Gopinath for their thoughtful engagement with my work. Special thanks to the wonderful folks who’ve always welcomed York’s students with a much-needed smile and some friendly banter. Sue Sbrizzi, Celeta Irvin, Yemi Adebisi, and Lindsay Gonder, thank you for your many kindnesses over the past few years. Jane Tolmie, it has been years since you were my undergraduate supervisor and you’ve continued to be my most vocal cheerleader. Thank you for your faith in me. To the anonymous, and not-so-anonymous, research participants who generously shared their thoughts on memorialization and loss with me, I am grateful for your trust in my ability to tell these stories. Many thanks to these beautiful hearts that have sustained me through the ups-and-downs of the writing process: Lee Airton, Natalie Kouri-Towe, Raphaël Beaulieu and Angel Beyde, iii Toby Matthew John Bowers, Michael Connors Jackman, Sarah Gabriel, Jane Burkowski, Conely de Leon, Cris Renna, and Flora Chen. Adam Kope, thank you for providing me with necessary distractions when I was overwhelmed, humour when I was miserable, and loving support when the writing became difficult. Sly Sarkisova: my be(a)stie, lovable weirdo, and partner-in-crime. I can’t thank you enough for your brilliance, insight, sense of adventure, and keen sense of humour. Special thanks to my incredible writing group for dragging me across the finish line: Julia Sinclair-Palm, Naomi de Szegheo-Lang, Tamara de Szegheo-Lang, and Daria Davydova, your playfulness, resilience, creativity, and brilliance have helped shape the best parts of this dissertation. An extra special thank you to my multi-talented and eagle-eyed copy-editor, Naomi de Szegheo-Lang, who patiently and painstakingly corrected each grammatical error and offered supportive feedback. To my most-invisible cheerleader, Adam Segal: I owe you an unpayable debt. Words fail to describe how grateful I am for your constant presence. Thank you for your unwavering support, incomparable grace, analytical playfulness, and stubborn tenderness. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I want to thank my ever-supportive parents for their patience and faith in me: thank you for encouraging me to move half-way across the world to pursue academia, for constantly reminding me of the beauty of my messy Arab-Indian-Kenyan roots, and for your love throughout this long journey. Finally, this work would not have been possible without the constant love and support of my sister, Zee. Zee, you’ve always been the first to celebrate my accomplishments, so it is to you that I dedicate this dissertation. iv Table of Contents ABSTRACT II ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS III TABLE OF CONTENTS V LIST OF FIGURES VII [INTRODUCTION] CHALK BOARD: TRACING THE OUTLINE OF TRANS NECROINTIMACIES 1 [I] THE CHALKED OUTLINES OF TRANS DAYS OF REMEMBRANCE 1 [II] NECROPOLITICAL NARRATIVES: RACE AND GRIEF IN QUEER AND TRANS HISTORIES OF MEMORIALIZATION 6 [III] METHODOLOGY 13 [IV] CHALK BOARD: THE ITINERARY OF TRANS NECROINTIMACIES 21 [ONE] CHALK PIT: A THEORETICAL REVIEW 24 [I] INTRODUCTION: REMEMBERING OUR DEAD 24 [II] INTERPRETATIONS OF LOSS AND MOURNING IN PSYCHOANALYSIS 28 [III] INTERPRETATIONS OF LOSS AND MOURNING IN CRITICAL RACE THEORY 31 [IV] QUEERER INTERPRETATIONS OF MELANCHOLIC REPETITIONS 35 [V] THE TURN TO AFFECT 47 [VI] THE NECROPOLITICS OF AFFECT 53 [TWO] CHALKED UP: EXPENDABILITY AND THE LIMITS OF (AC)COUNTABILITY 58 [I] INTRODUCTION 58 [II] ACCOUNTING FOR REMAINS: A BACKGROUND TO THE DIGITIZATION OF TRANS MEMORIALIZATION 64 [III] KEEPING SCORE: BARE LIFE AND THE LIMITS OF EXPENDABILITY 72 [IV] NO PHOTO: THE PRESENTABLE UNREPRESENTABILITY OF BARE LIFE 83 [V] NECROINTIMACIES: AFFECT AND THE VIRTUAL REVERBERATIONS OF VIOLENT INTIMACY 90 [THREE] CHALK: PERFORMATIVE GRIEF, NECROINTIMACIES, AND GHOSTLY ENCOUNTERS 108 [I] INTRODUCTION: FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS 108 [II] HOW TO HAVE A TDOR VIGIL 112 [III] THE THEATER OF ORGANIZED GRIEF: A DESCRIPTION OF FOUR VIGILS 118 [IV] ORGANIZING RACE, ORGANIZING SPACE: ON THE SCRIPTED NATURE OF INCLUSION 130 [V] “PERVERSE PERFORMANCES”: REFLECTIONS ON THE AMBIVALENCE OF MEMORIALIZATION 136 [VI] THINGS FALL APART; THE CENTER CANNOT HOLD: BLACK DEATH AND WHITE TEARS 158 [FOUR] CHALK DUST: VIGILANCE AND THE NECROINTIMACIES OF TRANS-HOMONATIONALISM 166 [I] INTRODUCTION 166 [II] FEAR AND THE CULTIVATION OF ORDINARY HYPER-VIGILANCE 169 [III] GROUND ZERO: PRODUCTIVE FEAR AND THE RE-VIRTUALIZATION OF NATIONAL TRAUMA 172 [IV] 9/11 AND THE PARADOX OF TRANS RIGHTS 186 [V] TDOR AND GROUND ZERO 194 v [CONCLUSION] THE AFFECTIVE AFTERLIFE OF NECROINTIMACIES 213 BIBLIOGRAPHY 224 APPENDICES 243 APPENDIX A: CALL FOR PARTICIPANTS 243 APPENDIX B: INTERVIEW GUIDE FOR PARTICIPANTS 244 APPENDIX C: INTERVIEW GUIDE FOR ORGANIZERS 246 vi List of Figures FIGURE 1: CHALK OUTLINE, QUEEN’S UNIVERSITY, 2006. 3 FIGURE 2: DETAIL FROM TMM INFOGRAPHIC 85 FIGURE 3: NO PHOTO, TDOR 87 FIGURE 4: FACEBOOK SCREENSHOT, MARCH 7, 2017 92 FIGURE 5: FACEBOOK SCREENSHOT, MARCH 9, 2017 93 FIGURE 6: NATIONAL TERRORISM ADVISORY SYSTEM AWARENESS POSTER 184 FIGURE 7: MOUDAKIS, THEO. "TRANSGENDER RIGHTS," 2016. 188 vii [INTRODUCTION] Chalk Board: Tracing the Outline of Trans Necrointimacies chalk board [chawk-bawrd] n. a smooth hard panel, usually green or black, for writing on with chalk; a blackboard. -Oxford English Dictionary [i] The Chalked Outlines of Trans Days of Remembrance Between March 1970 and December 2017, over 2,742 trans people were murdered globally as a result of anti-trans violence. The brutality of their deaths serve as a stark reminder of the expendability of trans lives. Indeed, within the decade leading up to 2017, 983 trans people were shot, 517 stabbed, 272 beaten, 97 strangled or hanged, 63 stoned, 49 asphyxiated or suffocated, 40 decapitated or dismembered, 33 throats cut, 35 tortured, 35 burned, 34 run over by a vehicle, 33 other, and 418 not stated (TGEU 2017b). These figures represent the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Missing are those whose deaths were unreported, mis-categorized, or those who, by virtue of their expendability, simply went missing. In 1999, following the death of Rita Hester, a black trans woman, Gwendolyn Ann Smith organized the first Trans Day of Remembrance (TDOR) vigil to honour the victims of anti-trans violence. Since then, each year, on November 20th, trans people gather at TDOR vigils to publicly mourn the victims of the annual toll of violence and to “express love and respect for [trans] people in the face of national indifference and hatred” (Int’l TDOR n.d.b). While the scope and nature of these vigils differ slightly depending on where you attend them, TDOR 1 vigils are now international commemorations that memorialize the lives of trans1 people who have died as a result of violent, transphobic attacks. The use of chalk outlines in TDOR vigils to indicate the loss of life has always been a source of ambivalence for me. On one hand, chalk animates the psychic pulse of life; its powdery residue invoking memories of fiercely-contended hopscotch games, the velvety echo of blackboard erasers, or the stained remnants of childhood dreams gradually fading on sun- bleached sidewalks.