VOL IV, Issue 6, Februry 15-21, 2017 | News, Analysis, Arts and Entertainment Get Blinded By Science PAGE 12 2 • February 15-21, 2017 • ABQ FREE PRESS WEEKLY HuMOR WWW.FREEABQ.COM • February 15-21, 2017 • 3 Besieged Sean ‘Spicey’ Spicer Calls for Backup WEEKLY Let the Spittle Fly BY MARK FLEISHER Editor: [email protected] ordon Sanders, a former KOB-TV news News: [email protected] director-turned-commentator, ran for mayor of telephone rings in an ornate office at the while I got you on the phone, my boss says your Arts: [email protected] G Albuquerque — twice. Kremlin. boss’ daughter can sell her clothes here in Moscow On Twitter: @FreeABQ THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 16 A In 1981, he didn’t stand a chance. Harry Kinney easily — any store she wants, no questions asked.” On Facebook: facebook.com/abqfreepress defeated Sanders and incumbent David Rusk, thanks “Press office,” says the man who answers the call. Klezmer and Knishes to an unseasonably wet summer that led the city to “Good to hear, Dmitry, but I better be quiet about Editor 9 am, Free, New Mexico History Museum, become overrun by ragweed that Rusk’s crews couldn’t “Give me Dmitry Peskov, and make it quick!” that. You heard what happened to Kellyanne Dan Vukelich 113 Lincoln Ave, Santa Fe, (505) 476-5200, keep up with. Conway, didn’t you?” (505) 345-4080 ext. 800 nmhistorymuseum.org In 1985, the mercurial Sanders, known for his blistering “This is Peskov. Who the hell are you?” Associate Editor, News February’s 3rd TV attacks on government, ran again. By then, some of his “Oh, yes, that blonde bimbo….” Dennis Domrzalski Thursday Events is a former underlings, with nothing better to do than hang “Sean Spicer. You might say I’m your counterpart “Sean, my friend, you’re just starting to get rid of (505) 306-3260 celebration of Jewish out at the Albuquerque Press Club, and knowing his in the White House in America soon to be great press freedom now? “Not bimbo, Dmitry, not bimbo. Bombshell, culture through food, Associate Editor, Arts penchant for tantrums and invectives, tried to mount a again.” please.” Jyllian Roach music, and art. This rump campaign on his behalf with the motto, “A Vote for “Well, Dmitry, we’ve got this thing called the First (505) 345-4080 ext. 818 free event is full of Amendment in our Constitution that gives the press Gordon is a Vote for News.” “Counter what? Oh yes, I know that word. We use “Not bombshell, Sean. We don’t use that word Sales Manager music, performances these freedoms.” To understand how Sanders was publicly perceived, it often, as in ‘counterterrorism,’ ‘counterrevolution- around here.” Daniel Johnson and hands-on at that year’s annual Press Club Gridiron roast, state ary.’” (505) 345-4080 ext. 810 activities. Rep. Ted Asbury portrayed Sanders in a mayoral debate “Sean, there’s a Russian folk song ‘Me and Bobby “OK, Dmitry, they screamed bloody murder Circulation Manager skit. With toothpaste in his mouth that foamed and kept “Yeah, right. Listen, Peskov, I was reading what McGeeovitch,’ and there’s a line that says ‘Free- because she…” Steve Cabiedes foaming as he ranted and raved, Asbury finished his SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 18 you said about no Russian involvement in that dom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.’ So (505) 345-4080 ext. 815 performance looking like a rabid animal. guy getting offed in Ukraine. And the one about let me assure you, Sean, freedom around here comes “Sean, Sean, we don’t use the M word around here Chispa: Pimentel Concert Art Director I bring this up because we now have Gordon Sanders in that fellow — what’s his name — who wanted to with the barrel of an AK-47. You get my drift?” either. It may be too late. My office may be bugged Terry Kocon the White House, except this one has nuclear weapons. run against your president but can’t cuz he’s been and the phone tapped.” Series, Pimentel Guitars Designer/Illustrator We can only hope the public doesn’t develop Donald convicted of fraud and embezzlement. I love it when “Well, you know, Dmitry, we’ve had these lily-liv- Rob Maestas Trump fatigue with each successive outrage as he sells out 65th Anniversary you say of course he had a fair trial. ered clowns and losers running this country for so “Sorry, Dmitry, listen, maybe we should text or this nation to Wall Street, the Russians, or both. long ... just horrible. But my boss and your boss email, instead.” Photography 1 pm, Free, South Broadway Cultural Center, Mark Bralley, Mark Holm, Juan Antonio Labreche, With that rant out of the way, let me tell you a little bit “You know, Dmitry, if I said things like that here, have the same idea — standing up for the little guy. 1025 Broadway Blvd SW, 848-1320, Liz Lopez, Adria Malcolm about what’s in this issue. the press would be jumping down my throat in a They’re partners, like Bonnie and Clyde.” “No, you idiot! Didn’t you hear? We have hackers, southbroadwaytickets.com The debate over expansion of medical marijuana in heartbeat. Those a-holes already think we’re trying too.” Contributors this issue New Mexico has, sadly, taken a tragi-comedic turn as one to do away with freedom of the press.” “I do not know this Bonnie and this Clyde, Sean. Moriah Carty, Mark Fleisher, Steve “Mo” Fye, I was maybe thinking Sacco and Vanzetti. Listen, Albuquerque poet Mark Fleisher is a former newspaper Gary Glasgow, Joseph Hillman, Bill Hume, side of the aisle treats the whole subject as a joke. You’ll reporter and editor. Ariane Jarocki, Nita Kelly, Ashley Kurtz, David Lynch, find Melissa Wood’s account on Page 7. Sayrah Namasté, Bradley T. Schuman, John Scott, Also on Page 7, you’ll read an account of Farm & Table Tom Tomorrow, Christa Valdez, Johnny Vizcaino, Executive Chef Carrie Eagle’s turn in the national TV Jamison Wagner, Benjamin Webb, Melissa Wood spotlight on “Chopped.” Copy Editors On Page 17, meet former APD cop Michelle Garcia Wendy Fox Dial, Jim Wagner Holmes who wants to be Albuquerque’s next mayor. Advertising Account Executive And just to show that we can’t let it go, you’ll note Cara Tolino (505) 345-4080 ext. 809 that we’ve doubled our coverage of the Trump Sales Department White House. That starts on Page 14. (505) 345-4080 ext. 803 This 9th Annual event showcases guitarists — Dan Vukelich, editor Office Administrator ranging from classical, to popular, to flamenco Melissa Wood (505) 345-4080 ext. 817 persuasion. The line-up includes Dan Lambert Published weekly by: and the Creatures of Habit, Out of Nowhere Great Noggins LLC Wayback Machine Jazz Band, and Harry Irizarry. P.O. Box 6070 Albuquerque, NM 87197-6070 SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 19 Publishers Will Ferguson and Dan Vukelich Pulling Back the Veil: Cover Illustration: Robert Maestas Kirk and Sheila Ellis Our Mission Statement: 2 pm, Free, KiMo Theatre, 423 Central Ave NW, 768-3544, kimotickets.com ABQ Free Press Weekly exists to provide another point of view for people disserved by other news media, to expose facts that the Join award-winning screenwriter and producer powerful don’t want known, to call lies what they are, to stand up for Kirk Ellis and wife, Sheila as they share their the little guy, to demand fairness, justice, and common sense, and to entertain, inform and celebrate the good and beautiful in our world. adventures through ince we’re caught in some sort of geopolitical Teheran, Yazd and Sspace-time anomaly, the Japanese group Isfahan, Iran. Learn Pizzicato Five may be fitting for just this moment more about Persian- in history. Recording in the kitschy Shibuya-kei Islamic Art, an ancient style of Japanese pop, this enduring group, with its Where to find our paper? culture that has been List of more than 400 locations at freeabq.com Twiggy-skinny lead singer, wearing Daniel Boone coonskin caps and doing lame college-dorm dance clouded by media portrayal, and what Corrections policy: moves, may take your mind off the man in the It is the policy of ABQ Free Press to correct errors in a timely fashion. oval office — at least until the missiles start flying. it is like to travel as Contact the editors at the email addresses on this page. Search for “Twiggy Twiggy” on YouTube. a woman in Iran. 4 • February 15-21, 2017 • ABQ FREE PRESS WEEKLY CARtOOnS/LEttERS nEWS WWW.FREEABQ.COM • February 15-21, 2017 • 5 To the Editor: out of control and while you eagerly Pulp News Bendy Solar Panels? Your style manual change regarding chased federal dollars for ART. not using the term “President” and Do any of you travel? Can you COMPILED BY ABQ FREE PRESS WEEKLY STAFF BY JAMISON WAGNER “Trump” together was pure genius not see that what attracts today’s 20-day Texas Hold ’em poker tourna- e may someday have solar For the technology to become more [Feb. 1-7 issue]. Ming of beers urban professionals is a FULL urban ment in Pittsburgh. “Libratus,” an AI Wpanels that are lighter, cheaper, usable, the panels must reach at least I have decided he is not my pres- Stanford University students have experience, starting with a vibrant job designed by researchers at Carnegie more flexible and in wide use – pro- 15 percent efficiency. After that, Me- used a 5,000-year-old Chinese recipe ident and would love someone to market? Mellon University, beat four top vided we can overcome some major jiaortega and Qin can focus on their to make beer.