Digital Commons @ George Fox University Doctor of Ministry Theses and Dissertations 2-2020 Thriving Holistically as a Woman Married to a Minister: A Spiritual Formation Model to Support Women in the United States in the Role of Pastor's Wife Elisa Renae Ashley Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.georgefox.edu/dmin Part of the Christianity Commons GEORGE FOX UNIVERSITY THRIVING HOLISTICALLY AS A WOMAN MARRIED TO A MINISTER: A SPIRITUAL FORMATION MODEL TO SUPPORT WOMEN IN THE UNITED STATES IN THE ROLE OF PASTOR’S WIFE A DISSERTATION SUBMITTED TO THE FACULTY OF PORTLAND SEMINARY IN CANDIDACY FOR THE DEGREE OF DOCTOR OF MINISTRY BY ELISA RENAE ASHLEY PORTLAND, OREGON FEBRUARY 2020 Portland Seminary George Fox University Portland, Oregon CERTIFICATE OF APPROVAL ________________________________ DMin Dissertation ________________________________ This is to certify that the DMin Dissertation of Elisa R. Ashley has been approved by the Dissertation Committee on February 18, 2020 for the degree of Doctor of Ministry in Leadership and Spiritual Formation Dissertation Committee: Primary Advisor: Jeffrey Savage, DMin Secondary Advisor: Karen Murphy, PhD Lead Mentor: MaryKate Morse, PhD Table of Contents ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ............................................................................................... v ABSTRACT .................................................................................................................. vii CHAPTER ONE: THE COMPLEX CHALLENGES AND NEGATIVE IMPACTS ASSOCIATED WITH THE ROLE OF A PASTOR’S WIFE ........................ 1 Introduction ......................................................................................................... 1 Challenges and Negative Impacts Divided by Systems ......................................... 7 The Self System: Spiritual, Mental, Psycho-Emotional ............................. 8 The Family System: Household Functioning, Marriage, Time Management ........................................................................................... 14 The Church System: Congregationally and Denominationally ................ 24 Conclusion ......................................................................................................... 31 CHAPTER TWO: A HISTORICAL SURVEY OF THE ROLE OF MINISTER’S WIFE ............................................................................................................................ 33 Introduction ....................................................................................................... 33 Biblical Examples .............................................................................................. 34 Old Testament ........................................................................................ 35 New Testament ...................................................................................... 35 Conclusion ............................................................................................. 39 Early Church to the Reformation ........................................................................ 39 Fourth Century – Eleventh Century ........................................................ 40 Twelfth Century – Fifteenth Century ...................................................... 41 i Conclusion ............................................................................................. 43 Sixteenth Century (Reformation) ....................................................................... 44 Early Reformation Patterns for Women Married to Clergy ..................... 46 Popular Examples in the Reformation Era .............................................. 47 Conclusion ............................................................................................. 49 Seventeenth – Nineteenth Century ..................................................................... 50 Overview................................................................................................ 50 Emerging Patterns for the Role ............................................................... 52 Twentieth Century – Modern Era ....................................................................... 55 Shifting Expectations of the Clergy Wife Role ....................................... 55 Modern Models for Women Married to Ministers ................................... 60 Modern Influences on the Chosen Role of a Minister’s Wife .................. 64 Language that Minimizes the Diverse History of the Role ...................... 68 Conclusion ............................................................................................. 69 CHAPTER THREE: BIBLICAL, THEOLOGICAL AND HISTORICAL FOUNDATIONS FOR THE PROPOSED SPIRITUAL FORMATION MODEL .......... 71 Introduction to Spiritual Formation .................................................................... 71 Spirituality and Spiritual Theology..................................................................... 75 Works of the Holy Spirit ........................................................................ 79 Indwelling of the Holy Spirit and Union with Christ ............................... 82 Progressive Sanctification and Holiness ................................................. 84 Overview of the Proposed Spiritual Formation Model ........................................ 87 Imitating Jesus, the Apostolic Example, and Tradition of the Church in Solitude 90 ii Imitating Jesus in Spiritual Small Group Community ......................................... 97 CHAPTER FOUR: EFFECTIVE SMALL SPIRITUAL FORMATION COMMUNITIES AND THEIR POSITIVE IMPACT FOR CLERGY WIVES ........... 103 Introduction ..................................................................................................... 103 The Struggle for Indispensable Spiritual Formation Small Groups ................... 104 Unable to Form Intimate Community in Congregations ........................ 107 Cross-Affinity Spiritual Formation Groups Outside of the Congregation ........................................................................................ 110 Effective Cross-Affinity Spiritual Formation Groups ....................................... 117 Environment ......................................................................................... 117 Structure ............................................................................................... 121 Practices ............................................................................................... 126 Conclusion ....................................................................................................... 134 CHAPTER FIVE: APPLICATION OF THE SPIRITUAL FORMATION MODEL IN THE PARA-CHURCH MINISTRY CONTEXT OF JOURNEY PARTNER MINISTRIES ............................................................................................ 135 Introduction ..................................................................................................... 135 Resourcing ........................................................................................... 138 Facilitating ........................................................................................... 139 Resourcing Women’s Exploration of their Embodied Role as Pastor’s Wife .... 140 The “What” of the Role ........................................................................ 141 The “How” of the Role ......................................................................... 142 Facilitating Cross-Affinity Spiritual Formation Groups .................................... 147 iii Introduction .......................................................................................... 147 Environment: Culture of Transformation .............................................. 151 Structure: Group Covenant ................................................................... 165 Practices: Scripture, Prayer, Sharing ..................................................... 172 Conclusion ....................................................................................................... 177 Ministry Challenges ............................................................................. 179 Area Needs and Suggested Further Research ........................................ 180 Closing Remarks Towards Hope, Advocacy, and the Witness of the Body ............................................................................................... 181 APPENDIX A: SPIRITUAL FORMATION MODEL OVERVIEW OF PRINCIPLES AND PROCESSES ............................................................................... 184 APPENDIX B: ABBREVIATED LIST OF RESOURCES FOR PRACTICES OF SOLITUDE AND ONE-ON-ONE SUPPORT ............................................................ 187 APPENDIX C: CHAMBER ORCHESTRA SAMPLE COVENANT ......................... 189 APPENDIX D: SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA SAMPLE COVENANT ...................... 192 BIBLIOGRAPHY ....................................................................................................... 195 iv ACKNOWLEDGMENTS As I reflect on this doctoral journey, I am humbled and amazed by the powerful movements of God’s hands. The Holy Spirit has called, empowered, cajoled, prodded, comforted, carried, enlightened, and powerfully transformed. I’m grateful for the journey, difficult though it has been, and for God’s clear and powerful call to serve such beautiful and complex women who walk in the embodied role of pastor’s wife. I’m grateful for the millions of women who have served God and God’s children through the role and who have shared