Bisexual College Students’ Identity Negotiation Narratives Dissertation Presented in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree Doctor of Philosophy in the Graduate School of The Ohio State University By Kaitlin Ann Prieto Godoy, M.A. Graduate Program in Educational Studies The Ohio State University 2020 Dissertation Committee Dr. Susan R. Jones, Advisor Dr. Marc Johnston-Guerrero Dr. Shannon Winnubst 1 Copyrighted by Kaitlin Ann Prieto Godoy 2020 2 Abstract The purpose of this narrative study was to understand the experiences of bisexual students relative to their sexual identities and how they negotiate their bisexuality on the college campus. This study employed a critical poststructural epistemology (Sarup, 1993; Tierney, 1993), a queer theoretical framework (Abes & Kasch, 2007; Butler, 1990; Jones, Abes, & Kasch, 2013), and was guided by the following four research questions: (1)What narratives of identity negotiation are told by bisexual college students?, (2) How do systems of power influence bisexual students' narratives of identity negotiation?, (3) What is the perceived significance of identity negotiation for bisexual college students?, and (4) How do bisexual students understand their bisexuality as a result of having to employ identity negotiation strategies? Sixteen participants with differing definitions of bisexuality, preferred identity labels, gender identities, races, ethnicities, and worldviews served as the sample for this dissertation research. Data were collected through two semi-structured interviews, the second of which was informed by a drawing activity. Thematic and dialogic/performance analyses resulted in two contextual themes: Pervasive Binegativity and Hegemony of Binaries. Thematic analysis further revealed five themes characterizing identity negotiation strategies: Settling for Simplicity, Transgressing Normativity, Downplaying Bisexuality, Subtly Signaling Sexuality, and Outness as Advocacy. In addition to the ii emergent themes, individual participant narratives were also provided to highlight the variety of identities and experiences within the bisexual student community. iii Dedication To my family. Thank you for allowing me to be every part of who I am. iv Acknowledgments This dissertation was nothing if not a group effort. It belongs to me as much as it does to the countless scholars, administrators, family, and friends who have given their time, energy, and unwavering support to make this work possible. Your insights and encouragement have shaped me and this document in ways I will never be able to fully express. To the 16 students who shared their time, their heartache, and their pride with me—thank you for trusting me to tell your stories. To the students who read the recruitment email or saw the flier and did not feel as though they could share those parts of themselves, this dissertation is for you as well. I hope this scholarship helps to create college campuses where you do not feel as though you have to hide any piece of who you are. To Dr. Shanna Smith Jaggars, thank you for providing me with an opportunity to hone my qualitative research skills and to think more deeply and more critically about higher education research. And to Dr. David Graham, thank you for allowing me to continue this work. To my candidacy and dissertation committee members, none of this would have been possible without you. Dr. Antoinette Errante, thank you for helping me approach participants’ narratives with the care they deserve. Dr. Shannon Winnubst, thank you for v pushing me outside of my disciplinary comfort zone; this dissertation is stronger for your contributions. Dr. Marc Johnston-Guerrero, thank you for your guidance and support both through the dissertation process and beyond. I am forever grateful for the opportunity to travel with you and to think about identity in new contexts and in more nuanced ways. Dr. Susan R. Jones—it is hard to believe it has been over four years since I received an email from you with the subject line “Good News!” Since you first welcomed me to the HESA program, you have been there to offer encouragement and to provide opportunities for me to grow as a scholar and as a person. Teaching alongside you has built my confidence and informed my dissertation work in innumerable ways. When students joke that I am a mini version of you, I cannot think of a greater compliment because it means they see me as a caring instructor and a thoughtful researcher. Thank you. Countless peers and colleagues shaped my doctoral journey and it would take a second dissertation to thank them all. From Christopher Perlongo giving me my first full- time job in higher education to Dr. Shawn Abbott mentoring me along the way, I am forever indebted to the entire NYU Office of Undergraduate Admissions for setting me on the path that has led here. To Trish, Meghan, Becca, Annie, and Kellie—from you I learned that surrounding myself with brilliant and kind women makes me more brilliant and kind. You let me rant over text, offered encouragement, and shipped me bagels fresh from New Jersey. Your friendship over the years has given me a sense of home and has kept me going. I also owe a most special thank you to Alexis Scalese for guiding my thinking about queerness and indigeneity. vi To the HESA community, I think we all know I would never have made it through four years of doctoral school without you. I am incredibly appreciative to Drs. Amy Barnes and Tiffany Polite for your mentorship in teaching 2571. To Dr. Matthew Mayhew, thank you for your encouragement during my masters program at NYU and your continued support at Ohio State. I am also grateful to the students I have met during my time here. There are too many to name individually, but Jessica, Victoria, and Rebecca, you have been instrumental in making me feel supported. To my cohort, Antonio, Ashley, Courtney, Lane, Laura, Shannon, and Tiffany, thank you for the countless hours spent writing together, the backyard cookouts, and lunches at Sloopy’s. And thank you for the inside jokes (Lane, what’s a lit review again?) that made this process a whole lot more fun. To Marcos Rivera, this dissertation would not have been possible without you. You understood that for growth to occur, I needed a balanced amount of challenge and support and snacks. You were there for me in so many ways and you never shied away from questioning my choices and pushing me to produce my best possible work. You believed in me in the moments I struggled to believe in myself. You were patient and kind (in your own way) and I am beyond fortunate to call you a colleague and one of my very best friends. To my family, thank you for believing in me. To my aunts, uncles, and cousins who encouraged me. To Vilma and Johanna, who I am lucky to call my sisters. To mi suegra, Ro, for welcoming me into your family and for understanding that all the missed holidays had everything to do with getting this dissertation finished! To my vii brother Dan and his wonderful partner Stephanie, for listening to me complain about graduate school and keeping me outfitted in all the best east coast Dunkin’ attire. I love you all, and I am so grateful. To my Nan and Poppop, Grandma and Grandpa—I carry with me your care, your quiet fortitude, your creativity, and your intellectual curiosity. I would have loved nothing more than to share this work with you. I know you would be proud. Dad, at my wedding we danced to Bruce Springsteen’s “When You Need Me.” I chose that song because Bruce sang about a promise that you made to me without ever having to say the words. I'll be there to guide you when trouble walks beside you. If you need me, I'll be there. Completing doctoral school has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. And every day you were there to make it easier in any way you possibly could. I do not know where I would be in this world without the love and support you have given me over the last three decades, but it would certainly not be here. To my mom, this dissertation is over 100,000 words. I know you know that because you have proofread most of them. Yet somehow, I cannot find the words to thank you for everything you have given me. I doubt I ever will. From making sure my freezer was stocked with homemade meals during my candidacy exams, to driving to Columbus with me so I would not have to make the trip alone, to making sure that my counselor, my safety blanket, my best friend was never more than a phone call away, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am who I am because you and dad made sure my dreams were always within reach. I love you both. viii A Mik, por enseñarme el amor sin condiciones. You put my dreams before your own; I will never be able to give back what you have made possible for me. I know none of this has been easy. This dissertation belongs to you as much as it does to me. Most importantly, I want to thank you for never asking me to hide who I am and for reminding me of all that I have to be proud. I am so fortunate to have you as a partner because no matter how uneven the road, with you I will never have to walk it alone. Thank you for caring for me and going above and beyond for Masha. We both love you so much. Lastly, to Masha.