DRAWING FROM THE WELL: WOMEN’S SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES IN HEALING FROM CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE by Jill Louise Wylie A thesis submitted to the School of Rehabilitation Therapy In conformity with the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy Queen’s University Kingston, Ontario, Canada September, 2010 Copyright ©Jill Louise Wylie, 2010 Abstract The prevalence of child sexual abuse remains high with girls 1.5 to 3 times more likely to be victims compared to boys. In addition to psychological and emotional challenges, this abuse can lead to spiritual difficulties that impact survivors’ ability to find meaning in their life, find a sense of purpose, experience hope or believe in a world that is just. Spirituality can facilitate healing and this study contributes to that knowledge base by exploring women’s own perspectives. The purpose of this qualitative narrative study is to understand, from women’s perspectives, the role of spiritual experiences in their healing from the impacts of child sexual abuse. Spiritual experiences were defined as any experiences that have a different reality or feeling compared to our usual everyday reality that may seem extraordinary or unexplainable, or very ordinary yet meaningful. Twenty in-depth individual interviews were conducted with ten women survivors of child sexual abuse. Narrative analysis methods were used to derive key themes that represent participants’ perspectives of how spiritual experiences enhance healing. Results of this study show that spiritual experiences opened doorways to self, shifted energy, expanded perspective, revealed truths, connected to the present moment, created possibilities of the positive and were an enduring source of support and strength. Spiritual experiences create inter-connections between aspects of the self that can simultaneously transcend the self and connect to the larger world thereby unifying each into a greater whole. These impacts prevail even when there is dissonance in the interpretation. Occupations facilitated spiritual experiences by acting as a portal to a spiritual dimension, transcending language and mind, facilitating internal communication, connecting to the body through doing and through innate healing qualities. Engaging in respectful dialogue on spiritual experiences requires reflection and awareness in the use of bias-free language. Health professionals are well situated to address spiritual experiences, ii using evidence-based practice and an understanding of embodied experience. Occupational therapists have a key role in validating spiritual experiences, facilitating the engagement in spiritual occupations, and providing resources to understand and interpret the experiences. iii Acknowledgements Thank you to Laura, Joanna, Leni, Renée, Kira, Maeve, Lori, Carolyn, Amanda and Tricia for your wisdom, inspiration, courage, honesty and commitment to this study. Without you, this would not be. This thesis is dedicated to you and all survivors on their journey of healing. To my Advisor Dr. Wendy Pentland and my Committee members Dr. Terry Krupa and Dr. Margo Rivera, you all brought a blend of knowledge and expertise that guided and supported me over the course of this study. I have gained from the wisdom of your minds and hearts. To the many others who stepped into this process to guide me at key points, you have helped direct me on my path: Dr. Loretta do Rozario, Dr. Mary Egan, Dr. Magda Lewis, Dr. Jacqueline Davies, Dr. Mary Ann McColl and Suzette Phillips. Thank you to Darlene Lake and Jane Reeves at Bracken Library Document Services for your helpful, resourceful and flexible approach. When I needed a document or article for this study, you were there. To the Canadian Occupational Therapy Foundation Doctoral Scholarship that provided moral and financial support for embarking on this complex study in spirituality. To Kira, my four-legged friend who made sure I kept a balance in my life by insisting that we go outside to play, walk or run. Last, but by no means least, I would like to thank my daughter Becca for her ongoing support and enthusiasm for this journey I embarked on that demanded so much of my time. You are my biggest joy and inspiration. iv Table of Contents Abstract ............................................................................................................................................ ii Acknowledgements ......................................................................................................................... iv Table of Contents ............................................................................................................................. v Chapter 1 Introduction ..................................................................................................................... 1 The Research Topic ................................................................................................................. 1 Theoretical Rationale ............................................................................................................... 2 Research Purpose and Definitions ........................................................................................... 6 Relevance of the Study ............................................................................................................ 7 Approach and Paradigm Stance ............................................................................................... 7 Reflective Stance ..................................................................................................................... 9 Chapter 2 Literature Review .......................................................................................................... 12 Child Sexual Abuse ................................................................................................................ 12 Contexts of Child Sexual Abuse ........................................................................................ 12 Impacts of Child Sexual Abuse .......................................................................................... 14 Understanding Healing .......................................................................................................... 19 Recovery ............................................................................................................................ 19 Resilience ........................................................................................................................... 20 Post-traumatic Growth ....................................................................................................... 21 Healing ............................................................................................................................... 23 Conceptualizing Spirituality .................................................................................................. 25 Religion Versus Spirituality ............................................................................................... 25 Defining Spirituality .......................................................................................................... 26 Spiritual Occupations ......................................................................................................... 28 Understanding Spiritual Experiences ..................................................................................... 30 Holistic Models .................................................................................................................. 30 Spiritual Experiences ......................................................................................................... 31 Transformation and Development ......................................................................................... 37 Spiritual Experiences and Healing from Child Sexual Abuse ............................................... 38 A Language of Spirituality ..................................................................................................... 41 Summary ................................................................................................................................ 43 Chapter 3 Research Methods ......................................................................................................... 45 v Research Questions ................................................................................................................ 45 Research Paradigm ................................................................................................................. 45 Narrative Inquiry .................................................................................................................... 47 Sample Selection .................................................................................................................... 49 Data Collection ...................................................................................................................... 51 Interview One ..................................................................................................................... 52 Spiritual Experience Cards ................................................................................................ 55 Follow-up Interview ........................................................................................................... 57 Study Participants .................................................................................................................. 58 Data Analysis ........................................................................................................................