PLANNING GROOM STYLE FOR EVERY WEDDING EVENT, ETHAN ZOHN’S WEDDING & 15 MINUTES WITH DRESS DESIGNER SABRINA DAHAN K 163 engagement party basics Whether you’re the hosts or guests of honor (congratulations!), our engagement party primer has everything you need to know about the first celebratory bash of many to come. >> PHOTOGRAPH BY MATHEW IRVING PHOTOGRAPHY PLANNING what it’s for People will want to congratulate you on your engagement, and a party’s a lot more fun than a phone call. It’s also a great time to introduce key people from your lives who are going to be seeing a lot of each other (and possibly helping plan your wedding together) over the next year or so. “It’s really the first time before the wedding when you have different groups of friends and generations getting to know each other in a much more intimate way,” says celebrity wedding planner Jung Lee of Fête in New York City. who hosts Traditionally, the bride’s parents host the first official celebration. Then, the groom’s parents can throw their own party, or maybe both sets of parents will come together to cohost an event. But these days, more couples are throwing their engagement party themselves (but keep in mind that if you’re doing the inviting, it’s your responsibility to foot the bill too). Friends can also host (and may even volunteer to), but before you ask, be conscious of the financial responsibility they may be taking on. when to have it multiple engagement celebrations because engagement parties is evolving, expectations The engagement party should fall within their friends and family are spread all around have changed. Engagement parties now K a few months of the proposal, right in the the country, and everybody wants to honor often include people who aren’t invited to sweet spot between carefree, just-engaged them,” Lee says. the wedding. If your friends want to plan an 164 life and the start of serious wedding planning. informal bar party and just email the invites So about 9 to 11 months before the wedding where to have it a few weeks before, it’s totally fine to include is the ideal time frame, and you’ll want to Depending on how many people you want people you aren’t sure will end up making the give guests about a month’s notice. to invite, you can make an engagement party wedding guest list (coworkers, newer friends, work almost anywhere—it’s really up to the college roommates). And if your parents’ whose turf it’s on hosts. To choose the venue, think about good friends want to host a cocktail party at Say you live in New York but most of your the atmosphere you want. If you like the their home in your honor, let your parents family and friends are in Chicago: You may idea of having everyone in the same room, invite mutual friends and business associates decide to have your party in your hometown you might want to rent out a private space you might not have room for at your (and enlist someone local to help you plan), at a restaurant, country club or a bar. For wedding. If, on the other hand, either you two host it in your current locale or even throw something more low-key, a house, backyard or your parents are hosting, the old etiquette two parties. Also, when picking the party or beach club might be a better choice. rule sticks. When the wedding hosts send the location, consider where you plan to have engagement party invitation, it’s considered your wedding—you may not want to ask who to invite one of the official wedding events and guests guests to travel twice. Just be mindful of It used to be that you weren’t supposed to assume they’re invited to the wedding too. how many invitations you’re sending out invite anyone to the engagement party whom To avoid a sticky situation later, start working to your guests and bridal party before the you weren’t inviting to your wedding, case on your wedding guest list now with your wedding day arrives; they won’t feel left out closed. But now that so many couples live families. Then trim the engagement party if they’re not invited to one in a far-flung and host their nuptials far away from their list down to your wedding party, immediate destination. “More of my clients are having families and friends, and the formality level of family and closest friends. >> ABBY JIU PHOTOGRAPHY PLANNING how to invite with margaritas, mini fish tacos and great setting. A few small arrangements from Feel free to keep the invitations simple guacamole—it just made sense and was a your local florist can perk up any space (and and budget friendly. You can even make genuine touch,” Lee says. As for dessert, serve it’s a great way to try out a potential florist them yourselves or send out an email invite it if you’d like, but it doesn’t have to be cake. for the wedding). Even if you want to keep from sites like Paperless Post. If you’ve Consider gourmet ice cream sandwiches, the engagement party casual, a theme and chosen your invitation designer already assorted baked goods or seasonal treats like coordinating color palette are an easy way to and want to go more formal, see if they’ll candy apples or cotton candy. tie things together. give you a special rate. Don’t worry if you haven’t settled on a color palette or don’t how to set the scene what to wear have a wedding date in mind yet—your While it’s fine for the décor and details to Your wardrobe will depend on the setting engagement party invitations don’t have to reflect your wedding colors and theme, of the party. For bride-to-bes, aside from match the rest of your stationery. Also, have don’t feel like you have to rush to choose the obvious (don’t wear an evening gown your wedding registry started before the them just so your engagement party can to a backyard bash), keep it simple enough engagement party invites are sent out in match. The real trick here is you don’t want that you don’t outdo your wedding look, but case guests want to bring you a gift. to upstage the wedding. If you’re envisioning special enough that you still stand out. A a casual beach wedding with simple décor, sundress will work for an outdoor affair, and what to serve a fancy cocktail party at a swanky hotel a cocktail dress for a fancier fete. As for the There’s no need to plan a five-course meal with over-the-top centerpieces might make grooms, while you don’t have to wear a suit with a four-hour open bar. Anything from that beach bash feel like a bit of a letdown. and tie or a tux—unless the venue calls for it— passed appetizers or tasting menu stations Consider choosing a style and theme that you should get as dressed up as your fiancé. to a buffet or casual cookout will work. Or are completely different from your wedding And if you have a specific dress code for your get creative and serve dishes that share day to mix things up. So if you’re planning a guests, make a note of it on the invitation. something about you. “I had a bride and formal ballroom wedding, go for a laid-back groom known for having Sunday Mexican beach theme for your engagement party, Download the Wedding Planner by dinners, so of course they brought it back with vibrant tropical colors and an outdoor The Knot app to check off your to-dos. BRUNCH WINE TASTING K 6 ENGAGEMENT Maybe it’s French inspired Oenophiles? Have plenty of with mini bottles of champagne, wine glasses on hand, and hire a 166 PARTY THEME IDEAS macarons and quiche. Or more sommelier to guide the tasting. The key to throwing the perfect rustic with homemade granola Make a spread of great cheeses, engagement soiree: Find a theme and blueberry pancakes. Coffee baguettes, fruit, hummus and that fits the two of you. and mimosas are musts. olives for pairing. COOKING CLASS MEXICAN FIESTA Impress foodies with a cooking Mark your engagement with class hosted at a local culinary bold, bright table settings and school or restaurant. Or hire pitchers of margaritas and a chef to teach the class at your sangria. Deck out your space home. Pick a starter, entrée and in festive multicolored paper dessert that fits you as a couple. lanterns and pom-poms. LEI’D BACK LUAU BEACH CLAMBAKE Use a tropical color scheme and Host a clambake or fish fry, or accent with chic pineapple and go upscale with a seafood spread palm tree décor. Mix up fun mai of grilled shrimp, lobster and tais and blood orange mojito scallops. When it comes to the cocktails. Serve tangy barbecue- sides, stick to the classics—serve style food like pulled pork. corn on the cob and coleslaw. ORRANGEAMALIE PHOTOGRAPHY.