Needs FocusNovember 2010 STATEN ISLAND SpecialFREE Family Familywww.webfamilyny.com Giving thanks Special holidays for special needs kids Perfect fi t Navigating options of NYC schools Match up Single parent dating Fall parties Where to go in November? Check out our Going Places Child Care Center Welcome to the fascinating world Very of “Early Childhood”! Competitive Rates Accepting Children From 1 month to 6 Years Convenient Hours 7am–7pm An Innovative and Exciting Curriculum • Nutritional meals Nurturing (breakfast, lunch & 2 snacks) and • Vouchers accepted Safe • Under Video Surveillance www.bumblebees-r-us.com 2734 Victory Blvd. Staten Island, NY 10314 Phone: 718.494.4448 •Fax: 718.494.1827 STATEN ISLAND Family November 2010 FEATURES Letter from 6 Youth in revolt! Realizing when your child is seeking the publisher independence BY RISA C. DOHERTY very society has a designated day for 8 The perfect fit giving thanks. Our Finding the right NYC school for your child E BY NATANIA BLUMENKEHL day, in November, is per- haps my favorite holiday. 10 New way to learn It’s truly a national holi- A mother creates iPod apps to help her daughter day and, while celebrated BY ALLISON PLITT on different days in differ- ent lands, an international 12 Special holidays holiday in spirit. It’s a day on which we count How families with special needs can have stress- our abundance, whatever that amounts to. free holidays For many years of my life, Thanksgiving BY JULIA GARSTECKI was a day I worked, and when I finally had the day off and was available, I found myself alone 14 Speak up! and uninvited to any banquet or celebration. I Teaching presentation skills now can give kids was alone in New York without family — and the edge they need people without family nearby can often spend BY MONICA BROWN holidays on their own. It’s a weird feeling and COLUMNS can easily lead to depression and feelings of 18 Dating and the single parent isolation. So much expectation surrounds holi- Romance is complicated — especially with kids 2 Newbie Dad days and the marketing folks can make you feel at home BY BRIAN KANTZ even worse than you already feel. BY CAndI SpARKS Being the kind of gal I am, I decided to do 4 Good Sense Eating BY CHRISTINE M. PALUMBO, RD something worthwhile on that holiday alone, 20 You say it’s your birthday? and I found myself volunteering to serve meals Put together a bash they’ll remember forever 16 Family Health to the homeless, ill and needy. It was a good BY PHILIP ROTH, MD, PHD day and I felt busy, vital and necessary. At the end of the day, the group of volunteers all sat CALENDAR OF EVENTS 26 Twice the Advice down together and had our meal. I met some BY JACQUELINE And KErrY DONELLI very nice people that day and I’ve always 31 Going Places looked back on it as a day when I saved my- Take the family out and find out what’s 28 Our Relationships self. going on in your town BY JOAN EMERSON, PhD Anyway, not everyone’s going to volunteer, or think about it. Some people are so alone SPECIAL SECTIONS 34 It Figures they can’t get past the solitary nature of their BY CYNTHIA WASHAM 13 Special Needs Directory lives. As we’re planning this year for our cel- 36 New & Noteworthy ebrations and our banquets, think of someone 22 Party Directory you may know who has nowhere to go on this The hottest new products day. Maybe it’s someone from another country or someone like I was, living in New York, with family far away. STAff CONTACT INFORMATION Share this invite idea with your children. PUBlisHer: Clifford Luster ADVERTISING SALES Address It may be that they also know someone who 718 260-2587 Family Publications New York/CNG is alone at the holidays. Holidays are more PUBlisHer/Managing editOR: [email protected] or 1 MetroTech Center North enriched when there are “new friends” at the Susan Weiss [email protected] 10th Floor Brooklyn, NY 11201 table. Happy Thanksgiving! EditOR: Vince DiMiceli CircUlatiON Thanks for reading. 718 260-8336 www.webfamilyny.com Creative DirectOR: Leah Mitch [email protected] Art DirectOR: On Man Tse EditOrial 718 260-4551 Advertising Sales: [email protected] Sharon Noble, Linda Smith Brooklyn Family, Queens Family, Bronx/Riverdale Family and Staten Island SPECIAL ASSISTANT: Family are published monthly. Copyright©2010. No part of our contents may Susan Weiss-Voskidis, Publisher Tina Felicetti be reproduced without permission from the publisher. November 2010 • STATEN ISLAND FAMILY 1 PARENTING Thankful (really) for my mother-in-law ne night, way back in the Classics, I know. would be a huge time commitment. year 2 BC (before children), Eventually, all eyes turned to me. I didn’t want to burden anyone else O I found myself in the middle The mob expected one more juicy with the care of our children. NEWBIE DAD of an ugly scene in a graduate school story from a disgruntled son-in-law. As I wrestled with the situation, BRIAN KANTZ class. What started out as an innocu- Instead, I simply shrugged my shoul- a friend of the family — a very wise ous discussion about parental influ- ders and said, “I like my mother-in- woman and a grandmother herself ence on education quickly turned law.” Of course, I wasn’t telling the — knocked some sense into my into a mother-in-law bashing session. class the whole truth. I didn’t want head, saying, “Did you ever consider One by one, venom-spitting stu- to rub their faces in it. What I should that your mother-in-law might actu- dents told their worst mother-in- have said was, “I love my mother- ally want to watch the kids? That she law stories. A guy claimed his in-law.” might consider it a gift, not a burden? mother-in-law tried You see, the older I get, the more I Did you ever consider that she just to sabotage his realize how fortunate I am. And one might be waiting to be asked?” of the most fortunate aspects of my No, I hadn’t really considered life: I have a wonderful mother-in- that. law. Really. But as soon as I did, my thoughts OK, OK, I know what you’re think- immediately went back to my own ing. What did I do wrong? What do I childhood to a time when my broth- want? A man must have some ulte- ers and I spent a few hours after rior motive for declaring his love for school each day at my grandmoth- his mother-in-law — yes, his mother- er’s house after my mom went back in-law — in print, right? Wrong. to work. There’s no doubt in my There’s no motive here other than it mind that the time I spent there was deserves to be said. the reason I always felt so close to My mother-in-law is the best. My my late grandmother. I still think of admiration for her has grown each her most days and plan to write a day since we met, and especially book about her some day. That kind since my wife and I became par- of bond is priceless. ents and my mother-in-law became a And guess what? My mother-in- grandmother. As mother, mother-in- law happily accepted our invitation. law and grandmother, she is always Of course she did. And I couldn’t there for us. Always. She’s the heart be happier about it. Our younger of the family. She proves this again son, who spends the most time with and again. Grandma while his older brother Here’s a quick example: recently, is at school, is quickly becoming I was offered — and accepted — an “Grandma’s boy.” You may have seen interim job position. This decision the couple around town on a lunch shook up our family’s routine — date. wedding. Even namely, we needed a new childcare My mother-in-law is truly one of worse, one young arrangement during weekdays. The the most selfless — and capable — woman countered, her decision also shook me up. After people I know. There is no better role mother-in-law had actually tried to nearly six years as a stay-at-home model for my two boys. There is no help her plan her wedding. The hor- dad, I was pretty accustomed to tak- better role model for me. ror. Classmates gasped. ing care of things myself during the It’s November and that means Luckily, a few of the less emotion- day. I rarely needed to ask for help. Thanksgiving. I’m one son-in-law ally scarred students lightened the Now, I did. And I found it very dif- who is thankful to have a wonder- conversation with a round of taste- ficult to give up control. Actually, I ful mother-in-law in my life. If you’re less mother-in-law jokes: found it excruciating. lucky enough to have a mother-in-law • “ I went to buy a car and the My wife brought up the idea. you love, too, let her know it. Donna, salesman asked if I needed an airbag. “Let’s ask my mom if she’ll take thank you for everything you do. I said, ‘No thanks, I already have a the kids in the afternoons,” she said. Brian Kantz says his father-in-law mother-in-law.’ ” Despite the fact that my mother-in- is pretty terrific, too.