Copyrighted Material Seven Habits of Highly Fulfi lled People: Journey from Success to Signifi cance Copyright © 2012 by Satinder Dhiman. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmit- ted, in any form or by any means — electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise — without prior written permission from the publisher, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review. For information about this title or to order other books and/or electronic media, contact the publisher: Personhood Press PO Box 370 Fawnskin, CA 92333 800-429-1192 www.personhoodpress.com [email protected] Library of Congress Control Number: 2012933831 ISBN: 9781932181913 Printed in the United States of America Cover and Interior design: 1106 Design Dedication Tavadiyam vastu Govinda tubhyameva samarpaye: O Lord! I off er unto You what is really Yours! Table of Contents Prologue: Living Profoundly Signifi cant Lives! . .xv Setting the Stage! . xix CHAPTER ONE: Th e Journey of Self-Discovery . .1 Th is Is Not a “How-to” Book! . .2 Self-Knowledge Is the Supreme Key to Fulfi llment . .3 Th e Utter Necessity of Self-Knowledge . .4 Th e World Is Made up of Stories! . .6 Multiple Dimensions of Teaching Stories . .8 Vedanta and Buddhist Psychology. .11 Concluding Remarks. .12 CHAPTER TWO: Th e Pursuit of Happiness and Fulfi llment . .13 Th e Perennial Pursuit of Humankind . .14 Aristotle’s Recipe for Happiness. .15 Positive Psychology and the Pursuit of Happiness . .16 Th e Sustainable Happiness Model. .18 Th ere Is No Direct Road to Fulfi llment. .20 Buddhist Psychology and the Pursuit of Fulfi llment . .22 Key Lessons of Buddhist Psychology . .23 Th e Source of Bondage and Freedom . .23 Pave the Planet, or Learn to Wear Shoes? . .24 Self-Centered Misery . .24 Everything Changes . .25 v vi Seven Habits of Highly Fulfi lled People Everything Is Interconnected with Everything Else . .26 Cultivating Altruistic Kindness . .27 Avoidable and Unavoidable Stress . .28 Radical Psychological Transformation: An Experiment about Reality. .30 We See the World the Way We Are! . .34 Perspective Is Everything: An Exercise. .34 Fundamental Problems of Life Cannot Be Solved!. .35 Improve Yourself! . .36 Concluding Remarks. .37 CHAPTER THREE: Th e Journey from Success to Signifi cance. .39 Success versus Signifi cance: Making Habits of Gifts . .40 Dollars for Our Days . .40 Fulfi llment: Th e Place We All Come from! . .42 Financial Success Is Essential. 44 Pitfalls of the I-Making Business. 44 Th e Journey toward Other-Centeredness. 46 Seven Habits of Highly Fulfi lled People: An Overview . .47 Th e Integral Nature of the Seven Gifts of Fulfi llment . .51 Gifts of Fulfi llment and the Art of Leadership. .52 Concluding Remarks. .54 CHAPTER FOUR: Living Our Highest Purpose through the Gift of Pure Motivation. .55 Meaning, Fulfi llment, and the Gift of Pure Motivation. .56 Th e Quest for Meaning and Fulfi llment . .56 Th e Quest for Self-Knowledge. .57 Why Bother to Know Our Self? . .58 Self-Actualization, Peak Experience, and Being-Values . .61 Th e Signifi cance of Meaning in Life . .63 Living Our Highest Purpose in Life . 64 Got Flow? . .65 Life Founded on Purpose . .66 Table of Contents vii Th e Gift of Pure Motivation . .67 Th e Importance of Practicing Pure Motivation . .68 Th e Best Rationale for Practicing Pure Motivation . .70 Pure Motivation: What Is in It for Me?! . .71 Concluding Story and Remarks. .74 CHAPTER FIVE: Th e Gift of Gratitude . .77 Why Be Grateful? . .78 Th e Parent of All Virtues! . .78 Taking Gifts for Granted. .79 What Is Gratitude? . .79 Gratitude Boosts Well-Being . .80 Counting Our Blessings . .81 Gratitude for the Precious Human Birth . .81 Gratitude for the Wonderful Gift of the Human Body . .84 Human Status Is Rare: Carpe Diem (Seize the Day!) . .85 Th anksgiving Day! Now What Should I Do for the Other 364 Days?! . .86 Gratitude for the Gift of Wondrous Nature. .87 Gratitude for the Kindness of Others . .88 Keeping a Gratitude Journal . .89 Concluding Remarks. .90 CHAPTER SIX: Th e Gift of Generosity . .93 Cultivating an Abundance Mentality . .96 Mutual Maintenance of the Universe . .96 Generosity and the Wisdom Traditions of the World. .97 Th ree Types of Generosity. .98 Th e Best Antidote to Greed. .98 Generosity Boosts Happiness. .100 Hidden Benefi ts of Giving. .102 Abiding in the Wisdom of Generosity . .103 Concluding Remarks. .105 viii Seven Habits of Highly Fulfi lled People CHAPTER SEVEN: Th e Gift of Harmlessness . .107 Harming neither by Th ought, Word, nor Deed . .108 Psychology of Violence . .108 Forget Everything—Remember Your Humanity. .109 A Great Cosmic Joke . .109 Who Loves Himself Should Never Harm Another . .110 Live and Let Live! . .111 Reverence for Life . .113 Making a Diff erence—One Fish at a Time! . 114 Help Ever—Hurt Never . .115 Harmlessness and Vegetarianism. 117 Harmlessness in a Darwinian World . 119 Harmlessness and Fulfi llment . .120 Concluding Remarks. .122 CHAPTER EIGHT: Th e Gift of Selfl ess Service . .123 Th e Joy of Selfl ess Service . .124 Th e Path of Enlightened Action. .126 What is Karma?. .127 Types of Karma. .128 Does Karma Teach Passive Resignation? . .128 Moral Balance Sheet or Sure Path to Sagehood? . .129 Key Teachings Regarding Karma Yoga . .130 Conducting Our Aff airs without the Tag of Doership. .134 Freedom from the Ego. .136 Selfl ess Service and Servant Leadership . .140 Concluding Remarks. .140 CHAPTER NINE: Th e Gift of Total Acceptance . .143 Accepting Life, Warts and All! . .144 Acceptance out of Helplessness or Understanding . .146 Expect Nothing—Accept Everything . .147 Total Acceptance: Not a Passive Resignation . .148 Total Acceptance: Letting Th ings Be! . .148 Th e Problem with Having No Problems! . .149 Table of Contents ix Acceptance Means Not Asking for the Impossible! . .151 Concluding Remarks. .154 CHAPTER TEN: Th e Gift of Presence . .157 Being Wherever We Are with All Our Mind! . .158 Th e Art of Paying Attention to Attention . .160 Samatha and Vipassana Meditation . .161 Th e Practice of Mindfulness . .162 Mindfulness of Breathing (Anapanasati) . .164 Getting the Knack of Mindfulness . .164 Insight Meditation . .166 Vipassana Meditation: My Recent Experience . .166 Day One . .167 Day Two . ..