San Jose State University SJSU ScholarWorks Master's Theses Master's Theses and Graduate Research Summer 2011 Performing Asexuality through Narratives of Sexual Identity Janet Sundrud San Jose State University Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarworks.sjsu.edu/etd_theses Recommended Citation Sundrud, Janet, "Performing Asexuality through Narratives of Sexual Identity" (2011). Master's Theses. 4074. DOI: https://doi.org/10.31979/etd.4bkg-gysx https://scholarworks.sjsu.edu/etd_theses/4074 This Thesis is brought to you for free and open access by the Master's Theses and Graduate Research at SJSU ScholarWorks. It has been accepted for inclusion in Master's Theses by an authorized administrator of SJSU ScholarWorks. For more information, please contact [email protected]. PERFORMING ASEXUALITY THROUGH NARRATIVES OF SEXUAL IDENTITY A Thesis Presented to The Faculty of the Department of Communication Studies San José State University In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree Master of Arts by Janet L. Sundrud August 2011 © 2011 Janet L. Sundrud ALL RIGHTS RESERVED The Designated Thesis Committee Approves the Thesis Titled PERFORMING ASEXUALITY THROUGH NARRATIVES OF SEXUAL IDENTITY by Janet L. Sundrud APPROVED FOR THE DEPARTMENT OF COMMUNICATION STUDIES SAN JOSÉ STATE UNIVERSITY August 2011 Dr. Matthew Spangler Department of Communication Studies Dr. David Terry Department of Communication Studies Dr. Shawn Spano Department of Communication Studies Abstract PERFORMING ASEXUALITY THROUGH NARRATIVES OF SEXUAL IDENTITY by Janet L. Sundrud This thesis explores the social construction of asexual identities through everyday narrative performances and critically examines the marginalizing effects of heteronormative discourses. This thesis posits narrative performance as a framework for understanding asexual identities within a heteronormative society. Drawing upon oral history and ethnographic methodologies, this thesis examines the narrative performances of three self-identified asexuals and explores four themes within each narrative: 1) the breach of heteronormative expectations, 2) the creation of commonality among individuals within the asexual community, 3) the negotiation of heteronormative discourses within the family, and 4) the construction of future-oriented liminoid narratives of asexuality. This thesis advances the claim that asexuality is a social identity by which asexuals narrate their past within a heteronormative society and envision a queer future. Acknowledgements Firstly, I want to thank the three asexual community members who shared their oral histories with me. Without their dedication and support, this project would not have been possible. Secondly, I want to thank my thesis chair, Dr. Matthew Spangler, for his endless guidance and invaluable feedback. He pushed me beyond my limits and encouraged me every step of the way. Thirdly, I want to thank my committee members, Dr. David Terry and Dr. Shawn Spano, and all the readers of my thesis. Their questions, comments, and advice strengthened my writing and deepened my understanding of queer performativity and heteronormative discourse. Finally, I want to thank my family and friends who believed in me and never let me give up. Their encouragement and support gave me the courage to explore my own sexual identity and write about a topic close to my heart. v Table of Contents Chapter One: The Modern Asexual .....................................................................................1 Chapter Two: Social Discourses and Power Structures ....................................................17 Chapter Three: Critical Ethnographic Oral Histories ........................................................38 Chapter Four: Narrative Performances of Asexuality .......................................................50 Chapter Five: Mapping Asexual Performativity ..............................................................105 References .......................................................................................................................114 vi List of Figures Figure 1. Storm’s bilateral model of sexual orientations ....................................................6 vii List of Tables Table 1. Online websites that constitute the asexual community, March 2011 .................10 Table 2. “Ideal” asexual narratives evoked in heteronormative spaces to legitimize asexuality ...........................................................................................................................13 Table 3. Communal language used to describe an individual’s asexual identity ..............15 Table 4. Guiding questions for my oral history interviews ...............................................46 viii Chapter One: The Modern Asexual Introduction Heteronormative performances of social identity permeate nearly every aspect of our daily lives. William Leap (2007) defines heteronormativity as “the principles of order and control that position heterosexuality as the cornerstone of the American sex/gender system and obligate the personal construction of sexuality and gender in terms of heterosexual norms” (p. 98). As such, the heteronormative dream shapes our futures and guides our daily performances. For instance, many women attempt to embody “feminine” characteristics in the hope of attracting a male partner. Many dream of their wedding days and the rituals that celebrate femininity. They might also feel a strong desire to become pregnant and raise children. Some men, on the other hand, embody traditionally “masculine” characteristics and define their sexuality through their successful pursuit of women. They might be more adamant than women about initiating a sexual relationship and spend more time fantasizing about women as an object of sexual gratification. Despite the influence of these social scripts on our lives, most people do not acknowledge the impact of heteronormative thinking on their social performances. In contrast, many in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transsexual (LGBT) community actively resist heteronormative discourses. They are more likely to disrupt sex/gender binaries and experiment with their daily performances of gender. For example, some lesbians embrace masculine performances of identity by cutting their hair and wearing masculine clothing. Drag queens, on the other hand, might attempt to embody partially or fully the ideal traits of femininity with dramatic makeup, luxurious 1 dresses, and long, stylized hair. The inversion of gendered performances on sexed bodies (e.g., male/feminine and female/masculine) inherently challenge heteronormativity and can disrupt gendered roles within same-sex relationships and families. However, in some regards, the LGBT community has reappropriated the heteronormative expectations of dating, marriage, and childrearing to create, what I term, a sexual normativity. Instead of liberating the LGBT community from heteronormative expectations, many homosexual and bisexual individuals have recreated oppressive social expectations within same-sex relationships. Nowadays, instead of creating new models for partnered relationships, same sex partners are adhering to the benchmarks of heteronormativity through their desire to have a marriage ceremony and by raising children. If we want to liberate ourselves from this sexual normativity, we must resist and challenge the expectations inherent within sexual relationships. With the emergence of the asexual community, individuals are finding still new ways to challenge societal assumptions about gender and sexuality. As defined by the Asexuality and Visibility Education Network (AVEN, 2008a), asexuals are individuals who “[do] not experience sexual attraction.” These individuals construct complicated performances of gender identity as they negotiate heteronormative expectations in their everyday lives. Since asexuals typically do not engage in sex, they might feel conflicted about forming partnered relationships and negotiating sex, and they might question their desire and ability to form a traditional family. The asexual community provides a refuge for many from the barrage of heterosexual messages that permeate nearly every aspect of our daily lives. 2 When I was a teenager, I often had to negotiate religious, familial, and societal values surrounding the issue of sex. My religious teaching told me to save sex for marriage, where it would become a sacred bond with my partner. I went through my teenage years as a “celibate” single woman, until, at the age of nineteen, I moved in with my boyfriend and spent five years in a committed relationship that I thought would end in marriage. When I was twenty-two, I began arranging my life into a collection of milestones: I would be married, give birth to children, and become a caretaker oriented around the home. I wanted this life. My family told me that these milestones would provide me with contentment. Yet, as I continued to balance school, work, and my relationship, I began to realize that sexual desire was not a feeling that I could naturally discover and awaken; rather, sexual desire is a social performance that I must constantly negotiate. As a graduate student, I became increasingly interested in resisting and pushing back against heteronormative social discourses. I learned about an online community of people who claimed never to have experienced sexual attraction nor to have desired sex. I saw the potential to create new (a)sexual identities that did not rely upon sex with a man or