Resources What is domestic violence ? SafeHouse Services are all free, confidential, and inclusive. We provide: Domestic or relationship violence is a pattern of behavior where one person 24 Hour Help Line: 734-995-5444 tries to control any other person who is Help getting a protection order Legal advocacy Domestic close to them using tactics of power Counseling and control. It can include physical, Safety Planning Violence in emotional, sexual, spiritual and/or Support Groups Shelter economic abuse. TLGBIQ Local Resources: Domestic violence is a gendered crime Jim Toy Community Center : 734- Communities and is rooted in patriarchy. We 995-9867 http://www.wrap- recognize that domestic violence is up.org/ mostly committed by men against The Neutral Zone (734) 214- women. However, SafeHouse Center also 9995 http://www.neutral- realizes that sexual assault does occur zone.org/ against all genders and across all Parents Families & Friends of A Resource for sexual orientations. That being said, we Lesbians & Gays (PFLAG) Ann do work to end the oppression of all Arbor 734-741-0659 Transgender, Lesbian, people as well as value and celebrates http://www.pflagaa.org/ the diversity of our community. Pride Zone at Ozone Center Bisexual, Gay, Intersex, SafeHouse Center also strives to protect (734)662-2265 Queer/Questioning the rights of everyone. http://ozonehouse.org/programs SafeHouse Center /queerzone.php Survivors of Domestic Spectrum Center 734-763-4186 http://spectrumcenter.umich.edu Violence How can I h elp my friend or (U of M affiliate resource) partner? • Believe them Michigan Resources: • Respect their need for Michigan Coalition to End Domestic Violence & Sexual confidentiality Violence 517-347-7000 • Avoid judgmental comments/jokes www.mcedsv.org • Ask how you can assist rather than Equality Michigan 313-537-7000 giving advice www.eqaulitymi.org • Respect their decisions even when yours may be different National Resources: • Be a good listener The National Domestic Violence • Offer your unconditional love and Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE http://www.thehotline.org/ support Information provided by SafeHouse Center and the Michigan Coalition to End Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay, Transgender, Intersex, Queer, Questioning (LGBIQ) &Allies Task force Power and Control Tactics How do I know if I’m Safety Planning for of Relationship Violence being abused? Relationship Violence: Along with the many concerns survivors Has your partner? of relationship violence may experience, • Threatened to hurt you, your If you are in the relationship: survivors from TLGBIQ communities children, pets, or themselves if you • During an argument, try to get to a face unique barriers. leave? room with an exit & phone. Avoid the • Threatened to “out” you? kitchen (weapons) and the bathroom Coming Out • Threatened to harm or take away (no exit). Fear that the abuser or self-disclosure of your children? Threatened to “out” • Make a list of safe people to call the abuse will “out” them. This is you to your ex-spouse or • Memorize all important numbers difficult and may be dangerous if people authorities so they will take the • are not supportive or sensitive of Establish a code word or sign with children? TLGBIQ issues. family and friends so they know • Kept you from seeing friends or when to call for help family? • Think about what you will say to Discriminatory Responses • Prevented you from seeking your partner if they become Others may minimize the experiences of medical treatment, taken away violent TLGBIQ survivors or believe myths that hormones, binders, or clothes? • Teach children to call for help they deserved or enjoyed the abuse. No • Monitored your phone calls or • one deserves or likes to be abused and Give your social security card and texts, read your email or mail? abuse is never the fault of the survivor. birth certificate to a safe person • Belittled your identity? • Self-Doubt Humiliated you in front of your If you have left the relationship: • Many survivors experience self-blame friends or co-workers? Change your phone number and • and doubt. TLGBIQ survivors may also Used pronouns not preferred by screen calls question their gender identity or sexual you, or called you “it”? • Document all contacts, messages, orientation as a result of the abuse they • Hit, punched, grabbed, slapped, bit injuries or other incidents have experienced. or kicked you? involving the abuser • Forced you to do something sexual • Change locks if the abuser has a Homophobia that you did not want to do? key There are several tactics of power and • Told you you’re not a “real” man or • Avoid staying alone control that may be specific to the woman? • Plan how to get away if confronted TLGBIQ population such as gestures to • Told you you’re not a “real” by the abuser reinforce homophobic control, lesbian or gay man • If you have to meet you partner, reinforcing internalized homophobia, • Broken your things or hurt your do it in a public place saying no one will believe you because pets? • Vary your routine of homophobia in society. • Threatened you with a weapon? • Notify school or work contracts • Taken your money? .