PUBLISHING THE EXPERIENCES OF MORMON WOMEN SINCE 1974 EXPONENT II Am I Not a Woman and a Sister? MODERATING THE MODERN DISCOURSE ON MODESTY Jennifer Finlayson-Fife SISTERS SPEAK: THOUGHTS ON MOTHERS’ BLESSINGS VOL. 33 | NO. 3 | WINTER 2014 04 PUBLISHING THE EXPERIENCES OF 18 Mormon Women SINCE 1974 14 16 WHAT IS EXPONENT II ? The purpose of Exponent II is to provide a forum for Mormon women to share their life 34 experiences in an atmosphere of trust and acceptance. This exchange allows us to better understand each other and shape the direction of our lives. Our common bond is our connection to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and our commitment to 24 women. We publish this paper as a living history in celebration of the strength and diversity 30 of women. 36 FEATURED STORIES ADDITIONAL FEATURES 03 LETTER FROM THE EDITOR 24 FLANNEL BOARD New Recruits in the Armies of Shelaman: Notes from a Primary Man MODERATING THE 04 AWAKENINGS Rob McFarland Making Peace with Mystery: To Prophet Jonah MORMON DISCOURSE ON MODESTY Mary B. Johnston 28 Reflections on a Wedding BY JENNIFER FINLAYSON-FIFE, WILMETTE, ILLINOIS Averyl Dietering 07 SISTERS SPEAK ON THE COVER: I believe the LDS cultural discourse around modesty is important because Sharing Experiences with Mothers’ Blessings 30 SABBATH PASTORALS Page Turner of its very real implications for women in the Church. How we construct Being Grateful for God’s Hand in a World I our sexuality deeply affects how we relate to ourselves and to one another. Moderating the Mormon Discourse on Modesty Understand Through Science 10 10 Jennifer Finlayson-Fife Sariah Anne Kell 14 ARTIST SPOTLIGHT 34 Thoughts on the New Temple Video The Sacred History of Remnants Page Turner 36 GENERATIONS SPEAK “December Departure” by Annette Evans Darn It “Ere Comes the Night” by Emily Hill Woodmansee Sisters 16 Karen Rosenbaum “Mourning Sickness: Dealing with Miscarriage” THOUGHTS ON MOTHERS’ BLESSINGS by Heather Sundahl My kids are starting school this week, and I want them to receive blessings 18 What Women in the Church Have Lost in My Lifetime For more info on the series, but I don’t know how to do it. I’m anxious for my kids’ happiness and Helen Claire Sievers 40 BOOK REVIEW www.pageturnerstudios. growth and I have some hope that blessings will benefit them. I don’t want My Confessions of Reading Confessions of a com or Page Turner, the blessings to come just from their dad, but I don’t know how to involve 23 POETRY Latter-day Virgin: A Memoir pageturnerstudios@gmail. myself. “Quiet Flame” by Karen Kelsay Lisa Van Orman Hadley com. “The Waltzing Girl” by Rebecca Sirrine No One Expects You to Like Church “Greater than & less than” 41 Susan Hatch by Kathleen Fernandez-Vander Kaay WINTER 2014 1 EDITORIAL STAFF LETTER FROM THE EDITOR My parents and I recently went through a trunk of old photographs. Decades caught on celluloid showed my parents’ coming of age in the EDITOR-IN-CHIEF ADDITIONAL STAFF: ’60s and ’70s, and I couldn’t resist teasing them for their fashion choices, including a photo of my newlywed mother wearing an ankle- Aimee Evans Hickman Emily Benton Heaton, Judy Curtis, Shelli Edgar, Heather length calico- printed prairie dress. Gunnell, Lisa Hadley, Nancy Harward, Linda Hoffman MANAGING EDITOR “What fashion statement were you going for with this one?” I gibed. Emily Clyde Curtis Kimball, Heather Gunnell, Ashmae Hoiland, Monique Kamosi, Sariah Kell, Coleen Kelly Poplin, Caroline Kline, Deborah “I got lots of compliments on the dress in 1976,” she laughed defensively. “Considering how poor we were, and the fact that I made it ART EDITOR myself, I think it looks pretty hip.” Margaret Olsen Hemming Farmer Kris, Mary Johnston, Emily Mosdell, Amanda Olson, Dayna Patterson, Libby Potter Boss, Natalie Prado, Nikki “You made that dress?” I exclaimed in disbelief. “I mean, I knew you could sew a little but an entire dress?” LAYOUT DESIGNER/EDITOR Ricks, Julie Rodriguez, Karen Rosenbaum, Suzette Smith, Stefanie Carson Nickolaisen “Well of course I could sew! I made every maternity dress in my wardrobe and many of your toddler dresses. Didn’t you know that?” Jessica Steed, Heather Sundahl, Page Turner, and Brooke PROOFREADING EDITOR Williams No. I didn’t. Besides the (pretty amazing) Cinderella costume my mother made for me one Halloween, I hadn’t paid attention to my Emily Mosdell mother’s sewing skills. By the time I would have been old enough to notice, my parents were running a business, and the sewing machine was packed away in a closet. My two sisters and I only ever learned how to sew a straight line. AWAKENINGS EDITOR EXECUTIVE BOARD: Mary B. Johnston President Treasurer Secretary When I asked my mom why she never taught her children to sew, she remarked that she hadn’t really thought about it but also that it wasn’t Kirsten Campbell Suzette Smith Brooke Williams as necessary a skill as it had once been. Moreover, my mother, a cowgirl, artist, and entrepreneur, understood the ways that this particular SISTERS SPEAK EDITOR Caroline Kline skill could be used to reinforce expectations of feminine domesticity she had resisted. My mother’s daughters were going to live in a world MEMBERS: where these skills were neither essential nor expected. Why pass them on? EXPONENT GENERATIONS EDITOR Emily Clyde Curtis, Emily Gray, Margaret Olsen Hemming, In one of life’s ironic twists, I am fascinated by textile arts. I knit, crochet, and quilt but still don’t know how to sew beyond a straight line. Deborah Kris Aimee Evans Hickman, Denise Kelly, Linda Hoffman Kimball, I would likely have made good use of those sewing skills my mother didn’t pass on, and every Halloween I feel a smidgen of resentment Caroline Kline, Jana Remy, Anja Shafer, Heather Sundahl, BOOK REVIEW EDITOR when trying to decipher a sewing pattern I inevitably abandon. Lisa Hadley Barbara Taylor Thinking about what was and wasn’t passed on to me from previous generations stirs me to examine my own parenting. Of specific concern SABBATH PASTORALS EDITOR are the religious beliefs and practices I offer or withhold in my own children’s spiritual development. Although I cherish my Mormon EMERITUS BOARD: Amanda Olson identity and particular Mormon teachings, my membership in this church has also been a source of frustration and disappointment in my Cheryl DiVito, Nancy Dredge, Judy Dushku, life. As a spiritual exercise, I ask myself nearly weekly why I am a Mormon, and honestly, some weeks, I just don’t know. How, when there POETRY EDITOR Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Judith Curtis are so many days when I’m not sure why I stay, can I pass this tradition on to my own children? And should I? This crisis comes to a head every time one of my children turns eight, and this February it is my son Ezekiel’s turn.As is custom in many LDS homes, there has been a lot of talk about baptism as we approach this birthday. But perhaps dissimilar to some of those LDS parents, I find myself feeling trepidation about this event. Initiating my children into the Church which simultaneously blesses and maddens me is the source of a lot of my parental guilt. SPECIAL THANKS TO: Jordan Daines, Molly Hadfield, SUBMISSIONS TO EXPONENT II: This question of what we discard and pass on from previous generations is beautifully explored in the following pages. From the work of Cristall Harper, Alice Hemming, Andi Pitcher Davis, Amy Tolk We welcome personal essays, articles, poetry, fiction, and our cover artist, Page Turner, to Sariah Kell’s Sacrament talk on her faith’s intersection with scientific learning, we can explore varying Richards, Page Turner, Annie Wheeler, and Brooke Williams book reviews for consideration. Please email submissions approaches to the spiritual and practical skills we all inherit. Our Sisters Speak question on how women approach mothers’ blessings for the use of their artwork in this issue. to [email protected] or mail them to Exponent II, offers ways to think about how we can reconstruct our spiritual inheritance even when some of it has been lost. For me, all of these voices 2035 Park Avenue, Baltimore, MD 21217. Please include have been wonderful companions as I work out my own concerns. Exponent II (ISSN 1094-7760) is published quarterly by your name and contact information. And so I turn to the metaphor of sewing. Though I can’t dictate what patterns they will create and follow, I want each of my children to Exponent II Incorporated, a non-profit corporation with no inherit the tools and skills to construct a rich spiritual life. I believe that singular rituals, like baptism in childhood, can become important official connection with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- Submissions received by mail will not be returned. touchstones in one’s spiritual memory—touchstones laden with individual meaning, apart from institutional messages and dogma. I have day Saints. Articles published represent the opinions of authors no idea what patterns my children will fabricate as they grow, or if they’ll even want to sew at all, but at least they’ll know how to work a only and not necessarily those of the editor or staff. Letters to We are always looking for artwork and photography to needle and thread. That’s enough to sew fig leaves together at least. Exponent II or its editors and Sisters Speak articles are assumed accompany our writing. Please send jpegs or gifs of art intended for publication in whole or in part and may therefore submissions to our email.