MORE CYNIC THAN SINNER The Directors of "Semper Florocrt" announce thai Lord Beoverbiook has re­ Positively the largest un­ linquished the position of audited circulatior-: of any Principal Shareholder of Semper Newspapers Inc. paper within the Univers­ and handed control to Sir U'ldim^c^lheU/tMfe^ ity of Queensland. Alexonder Jolly, Earl Ash- grove. Vol. XXIV. No. 10 WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 4, 1954 i= Registered tit G.P.O., Brisbane, lor transmission by post as c periodical. Mice& # • Election Fiasco Men Now ilwt "South Pacific" has loft Brisbane wo can reveal some start­ ling anecdotes concerning the quasi- CANDIDATES NAME FORGED celebrities who visited St. Lucia. The first story is told by a .stu­ dent who was eating a quiet Sunday By Semper S/eut/i lunch in a city cafe. Also eating there were Virginia Paris, and in This startling discovery was revealed last week in time Forgive us folks, but our curiosity an obscure corner, two iwople con­ to qucssh the possible election of an unwitting candidate was aroused, so we went down to see Lex. Explained Jolly;— nected with the Revue, then in the for the Presidency of the Union. The dupe was not discover­ final rehearsal stage. The two, to ed in time to suppress the printing of the nomination in "It's like dis. McCafferty and the bewilderment of our student and me; we'se sittin' in da Semper room the rest of the cafe, saw fit to in- "Semper. chcwin' da fat when along comes tcrnipt "Virgin'.s" lunch to intro ATINEE Wol, Richard Henry, But I would not have accepted the dis dame and snys to Mac. in a duco themselves. Presently tlie ex­ M second year Arts, was NOT Presidenty. My resignation would honey voice, 'Will you give dis to da cited pair announced proudly to nominated by the Women's Club.' have meant a by-election, which poisson takin' nominations." Virgin that "We've been rehears­ would have cost the student body "Now I'm tellin' yuh, dis dame ing for our own .sliow." "Why He was NOT nominated by three about £60." has got it. Slie's Marilyn Monroe honey," drawled Bloody Mary, in Arts women. Mr. Henry was not amused. wit" an intelligent look. Wlien Mac a voice clearly heaid all over the In Jacl, nobody wanted to nom­ Neither were we. Semper had been and me is stopped quiverin* and eating house, "Are you on at the inate him at all. the unwUling accomplice of a dan­ picks our eyes up from da floor Roynl?" gerous practical joker. So our crime This was not a harmless Prank (cos I'm tellin' yuh dis broad is * * :•: reporters went to work. hot), Mac wobbles over an says, The second story concerns Leon­ Said Henry; "I realize that in a 'Yeah, sure baby an' what are yuh ard Stone who also visited St. sense It was Indeed a great honour. C.I.B. doln tonight.' Lucia. He reported several days We went down to the C.I.B. Da broad looks Mac up an down in All I heard was her voice. after his visit that he had received When asked for an interview the (he ain't a bad looking guy—about Wlien it left I pulled on my pants a letter from an appreciative stu­ John In charge of the case .spat, 170 pounds) an says 'Get wise, sad and raced after her." dent telling Leonard how much smiled, and said— sack, you never had it .so good. "Is that all you can tell me she had enjoyed his speech and "Handwriting? That's my job. You fracture me. Bye now, i gotta about her?" pcrMnality. Tile only thing remark­ Last night Mr. A. Richard Henry fly.' An off she goes into the sun­ able about this letter, written on came down to the branch, where he light. "I'm no cad, sir." blue notepaper (evidently Leonard is used to receiving them) was that had a conversation with me. He But we kept right on questioning. showed me a piece of paper. On "All dis occurs about 2.30 p.m. the author was so overcome that the paper was sonie writing and "So Mac makes it to the Union Here are some of the answers. she forgot to sign her name. four signatures. Two of the signa OOlces and hands il in. Nobody "Too short.' * * * tures were written by the same is wised up dat it was a phony. The inter-faculty-college regatta person or persons unknown. That's We was robbed. It was mortl- "Too tall." once more wa.-; highlighted by the aU." fyin'." "Figure? Well, over fourteen but contrast between the shabby, and He aimed for the spittoon again And that -flfas his story. under forty." at times, indecent outfits of the men, and the neat attractive blue HICHARD AND FRIENDS Missed. Luckily it landed safely on But we kept right on questioning my adara's apple. So there you have it. Some­ shorts and red sliirtf! of the girl after the wrong name— * the staff. where in this University there is competitors. Thos.? c.nl.s leally look­ We began to feci we were in a woman. Some day I'm gonna ed good. withdrawal the way, so we loft. Said one; "I was engaged in a conversation when this femme came find her. jt j^r jb St. Lucia The spate of VT.P.'s visiting the We ankles it out to the seat of University at tho moment is noth­ Have You Been culture and has a word with the ing short of nmazin;;. in a period tall boy. Said Dickie (Mr. A. of fourteen days St. Lucia was tour­ Richard Henrj' to you Horatio) :— ed by the High Commi.'jsioners or X-Rayed "Tliere is only one member of Election Results Ambassadors of Piikistnn, Canada, our learned faculty who addresses Japan. Thailand .nnd the Austrian me as Richard F. Henry. I Itnow Charge d'Affairf;.<. The overworked Lately ? him. He is in second year. I officials who conduct them round T>EMEIVIBER, whatever faculty you intend to ask him point blank if As If You Care the place, notably the President •*•*• are in it is well worth while he is ^ilty of this infantile Arts (Evening)—Marion Barrj', and Secretary of the Staff Associa PRESIDENT: tion, arc getting to be quite blase having (his annual check on your effort." Barry Deegan, Evan Hannah about it all. health. Moreover, 1 have a second clue. Commerce (Day)—Alistair Kennedy * * :i: The early stages of tuberculosis Mr. Editor Jolly said that on the Commerce (Evening)—Candidates Tlio Law Society agaiiv proved its may be completely symptomless and afternoon the nomination was Unobtainable talent for tlie unoriginal by hold­ the disease, if not treated early, is lodged a female student~to wit, a Dentistry—G. Launder, H. J. ing its small but terrifically select dangerous to people of our ae"e. woman—passed by Semper Offlce. O'Driscoll Formal Evening at St. Lucia Refec­ So now we can sny "cherchcz la You will be X-rayed FREE and Engineering & Surveying (Day)- - tory. Reuorts indicate that, with a without having to wait if you call at femme!" bit of time .spent on decorating, the Brian Murphy, Robert Martin, Jack place was made really attractive (1) The Chest Clinic in George Bond and Is excellent for holding a small St., between the hours of 10 a.m,- Engineering & Suiveying (Even.)— (CO couples) gathering. Local in­ 12.45 p.m., and 2 p.m.-4.45 p.m. Cheers Dears No Candidate habitants arc pleased that the dec­ (il) The Micro X-ray department Education—To be elected by orative scheme involved the removal at the Brisbane General Hospital- Mes chers enf.ints, of millions of old notices from the Hours, all day, except the lunch Faculty Society extensive notice-boards, we are also Tliere will be only one issue of Law—John G. P. Caffery hour. Semper Floreat in third term. This told that rumours of a chicken and If members of faculties other will be the fmvX issue for 195-1—at Medicine—P. Suchting. J. Harring­ champagne supper are well founded. than Medicine wish to be immun­ least under this reghne, ton, G. Lukin, D. Cohen * * * ized against tetanus they may ar­ Incidentally, the Lawyers' latest range a time by making application I have upon me an unaccount­ Science (Day)-K. Peterson R. Bryan boast is that thev are the most as a group to the Student Director able desire, almost overpowering, to ]5Ub!lc spirited faculty in the place. of Health. pass in at least ONE subject in Science lEvcning)-No Candidate Apparently it has always been con­ November. Whilst one edition of Vaccination against small pox and IAT. President Hampson Vet. Science—Alex. Willinm.'J sidered ungontlemanly for two eag­ Semper is so much twaddle to j-ou, les to oppose cacli other in tlie sor­ Immunization against typhoid could It is two weeks' hard work to me, Pliys. Education—Merron Waugh also be arranged. HON. SEC. did atmosphere of thu political and as exams draw on I feel less Phy.siotherapy—Wendy McKee arena for the honour of the Law Members of faculties such as inclined to work in this direction. Agriculture and Vet. Science should Michael Sler seat on Council. Such matters liave arrange for tetanus immunization Copy for this edition will close on SPORTS UNION always in previous years boon de­ because of their close association the Friday week after commence­ VICE-PRESIDENTS: OEFICIALS: cided in the more dignified .sur­ with soil and animal excreta.