Jose Anguiano [email protected] Mexican Blood, American Heart: Listening for Home, Gender and Affect in Chicana/o Smiths/Morrissey fandom This Night Has Opened My Eyes On December 10th 2009 Morrissey was in concert in Los Angeles in support of his new release “Swords,” a compilation of previously unreleased B-sides. I ventured out there with two friends acting as research assistants, a video camera, an audio recorder, and a clip board full of research consent forms to see if any fans would talk with me about their Morrissey fandom. We arrived at 3:30pm to find approximately thirty people waiting in line for a show that started at 8:00pm. The low number of fans waiting in line reflected the fact that most fans had reserved seats except for small general admission “pit” at the front of the stage. All the fans in line had general admission tickets and arrived as early as they could to vie for a spot near the front of the stage. The fans appeared to be of various ethnic backgrounds, ages and styles of dress. I noticed that whites and Latinos made up most of the fans in line but I would later find much more diversity in ethnic backgrounds as I went around and talked with fans. Of interest to me right away was the one African-American woman in line, who would later refuse to even speak to us, the young Latino rockabilly kids in the middle of the pack and the group of white youth that were first in line. Feeling apprehensive about approaching fans because of my own shyness I waited for one friend to arrive and help with the interviews; so I moved off to the side of the line and sat at a tree planter where I readied the recording equipment and went over the interview questions. As I tested all the equipment and checked all the forms were in order a fan named “John” approached me, introduced himself and asked if I was here for the Morrissey show. I said yes 1 Jose Anguiano [email protected] and before he could interject anything else I rapidly explained my research and asked him to be interviewed. He wanted to say yes but he said he was nervous and that he had never done any media interviews. I told him I was a researcher and explained to him all my questions and purpose. He finally agreed to do an audio only interview if he could smoke while we talked. He was quite nervous but answered all my questions and seemed happy afterwards. John couched his admiration of Morrissey in the famous line “because the music that they constantly play it says nothing to me about my life.” This line is perhaps Morrissey’s most salient lyrics for many Latinos. John said that none of the music he heard before Morrissey spoke to his experiences. Later as I spent more time with the people in line I realized why he had approached me: John created a list of the place in line of all the people who arrived for the general admission section. When I asked him about the list he said it was a Morrissey concert tradition and that it kept things orderly. Morrissey’s persona as a genteel and polite Englishman inspired the fans’ attempt at respecting each other’s place in line. The list and its process did generate conflict however as a group of older white women and their African-American friend resented that others not in line when they arrived were placed ahead of them because of the list. After speaking with John I went directly to the front of the line and introduced myself to a fan named “Travis.” I learned that he and his friend claimed the first place in line by arriving at 5:30am; Travis accompanied his friend whom he regarded as the “true” fan because he planned to attend all of the Morrissey shows on the west coast. Travis agreed to be interviewed but only once his friend came back from getting coffee. Travis would later be interviewed on camera but his friend politely declined. While waiting for Travis to be ready I moved on to the people who came after Travis. Some people refused to be on video camera so I obliged by using only the audio recorder. One such case was a 32 year old fan from Mexico City who called himself 2 Jose Anguiano [email protected] “José.” Reluctantly he agreed to be interviewed but only if it was in Spanish. José had scraped together 2,000 dollars to follow the entire Morrissey west coast tour which began in the Pacific Northwest and moved through much of California and also Las Vegas, Nevada. José was one of several international fans present, a large group of English fans were present but declined to participate in my study. José represents a wider Morrissey fan base in Mexico and Latin America which is potentially much different than the Chicano fan base. What stood out most about José and the other people I talked to that day was there commitment and obsession with Morrissey. When asked to rate his fandom José refused to quantify his answer in the 1 through 10 scale I set and simply said that it occupied an important part in his life. Following up on this statement José said “whenever Morrissey is around I choose him over family and friends.” Subsequently, I spoke to Norma who had a Morrissey tattoo on her back and one on her arm. The tattoo on her arm was Morrissey’s portrait adorned in various shades of blue. Tattoos of Morrissey, lines from songs and autographs were common in this group and Graciela snapped pictures while I asked questions. “Steve,” a middle aged man from Texas, identified himself as Anglo and Jewish and had traveled alone for a few weeks following the Morrissey tour. He was the oldest person I spoke with and he remarked that he was a few days younger than Morrissey. “Denise,” a thirty something Catholic school teacher, described her relationship with Morrissey via the metaphor of Catholicism. She described the “ritual” of a show, such as going vegetarian for the day in honor of Morrissey. Further, she related an incident in which a roadie threw the crowd a nearly empty water bottle used by Morrissey. She explained that they passed the bottle around and drank from it as if it was the communion. Finally, “Eddy” was dressed in a rockabilly fashion of cuffed jeans, a flannel shirt and pompadour hairstyle. He was 19 years old and said his 3 Jose Anguiano [email protected] favorite song was “The First of the Gang to Die.” When I asked why he said the song reminded him of his older brother who died because of gang violence. I would like to mention that of course some fans declined to be interviewed. Many appeared curious about the video camera and audio recorder but for various reasons refused an interview. One fan said that it was far too personal of a topic and left it at that. I expected more of this because I know that music can be deeply personal and I was a complete stranger. However, fans that did speak with me revealed much personal information about what the songs mean to them and why, and I am grateful they felt comfortable enough to speak with me in a public setting. The setting meant that all those around could hear the interviews if they wanted to listen in and inevitably it did influence what others said as when I asked people to rate their fandom they often based it on what others before them had said. Travis, for example, rated himself a 2 on a scale of 1 through 10 because he felt those around him were much bigger fans despite the fact that he had arrived at 5:30am to secure the first place in line. The only awkward moment in asking for an interview occurred towards the end of the night when Graciela and I approached the lone African-American woman in line. Graciela spoke directly to her but she acted like nobody was talking to her so Graciela instead spoke with others in her group who simply said no thank you. The group that I interacted with represents Morrissey’s most ardent supporters who commit a great deal of time, money and effort to their fandom. While I found a great variety in ages, ethnic backgrounds, hometowns and style of dress all were extremely passionate about Morrissey and felt that his music had impacted their lives for the better. Some spoke of the songs’ messages as when “Travis” said he sympathizes with the sentiments of the song “America Is Not the World,” and the lyrics “Where the president is never black, female or gay/And until 4 Jose Anguiano [email protected] that day you have nothing to say to me.” Others spoke of being comforted by Morrissey’s music as when “Norma” spoke of being reassured when she was depressed in college. Some fans claimed that they took up vegetarianism, read Oscar Wilde (a favorite of Morrissey) and even changed their demeanor. Case in point was Travis who claimed he was a kinder and gentler person because of Morrissey’s music. This ethnographic vignette introduces us to the diverse group of fans that fervently follow the music career of Morrissey. Once the venue doors opened and the masses arrived it was clear that a large percentage of the two thousand seat auditorium was filled by Chicanos/Latinos.