2 Contents 1 2018 17 1.1 January ............................................... 17 January 1 - Verne Troyer gets the start of a project (2018-01-01 00:02) . 17 January 2 - Jack Hanna gets animal considerations (2018-01-02 09:00) . 18 January 3 - Dan Harmon gets pestered (2018-01-03 09:00) . 18 January 4 - Dave Foley gets an outdoor slumber (2018-01-04 09:00) . 18 January 5 - deadmau5 gets a restructured week (2018-01-05 09:00) . 19 January 6 - Julie Chen gets variations on a dining invitation (2018-01-06 09:00) . 19 January 7 - Katie Couric gets a baristo’s indolence (2018-01-07 09:00) . 20 January 8 - Jenny Lewis gets a young Peter Pan (2018-01-08 09:00) . 20 January 9 - Joan Baez gets Mickey Brennan’d (2018-01-09 09:00) . 20 January 10 - Jemaine Clement gets incremental name dropping (2018-01-10 09:00) . 21 January 11 - Mary J. Blige gets transferable Bop-It skills (2018-01-11 09:00) . 22 January 12 - Raekwon gets world leader factoids (2018-01-12 09:00) . 22 January 13 - Julia Louis-Dreyfus gets a painful hallumination (2018-01-13 09:00) . 22 January 14 - Jason Bateman gets a squirrel’s revenge (2018-01-14 09:00) . 23 January 15 - Charo gets an avian alarm (2018-01-15 09:00) . 24 January 16 – Lin-Manuel Miranda gets an alternate path to a coveted award (2018-01-16 09:00) .................................... 24 January 17 - Joshua Malina gets a Baader-Meinhof’d rice pudding (2018-01-17 09:00) . 25 January 18 - Jason Segel gets a body donation (2018-01-18 09:00) . 25 January 19 - Dolly Parton gets a bumbling bee (2018-01-19 09:00) . 26 January 20 - Questlove gets a determinative cracker selection (2018-01-20 09:00) . 26 January 21 - Paul Allen goes on tour with Secret Connection (2018-01-21 09:00) . 27 January 22 - Guy Fieri gets a nibbling week (2018-01-22 09:00) . 29 January 23 - Tiffani Thiessen gets an executive decision (2018-01-23 09:00) . 31 January 24 - Ed Helms is a neurokahunanarcissist (2018-01-24 09:00) . 31 3 January 25 - Alicia Keys gets a nominative deterministic teaser (2018-01-25 09:00) . 32 January 26 - Vince Carter gets celebrated by a child admirer (2018-01-26 09:00) . 32 January 27 - Patton Oswalt gets an Archie Comics disparagement (2018-01-27 09:00) . 32 January 28 - Sarah McLachlan is a secret bowling neighbour (2018-01-28 09:00) . 33 January 29 - Heather Graham gets told what she’s doing (2018-01-29 09:00) . 33 January 30 - Wilmer Valderrama gets a hotel fire alarm (2018-01-30 09:00) . 34 January 31 - Bobby Moynihan gets a crow’s attack (2018-01-31 09:00) . 34 1.2 February .............................................. 35 February 1 - Abbi Jacobson gets an enemy for a day (2018-02-01 17:23) . 35 February 2 - Nathan Fielder gets the lifestyle tactics omitted by the ’normal’ person (2018-02-02 09:10) .................................... 36 February 3 - Warwick Davis gets a study of postal signature devices (2018-02-03 09:10) 37 February 4 - Hannibal Buress gets a plea for a pivot in his performing career (2018-02-04 09:19) .................................... 37 February 5 - Michael Sheen gets Brunched (2018-02-05 09:15) . 38 February 6 - Tom Brokaw gets a specific desire for an iced coffee (2018-02-06 09:26) . 39 February 7 - Chris Rock gets a crafty way to get time off work (2018-02-07 09:20) . 39 February 8 - Seth Green gets a deli counter’s sneaky upsell attempt (2018-02-08 09:38) 39 February 9 - Tom Scharpling gets an underdog story, starring the black sheep of the loaf (2018-02-09 09:41) .................................... 40 February 10 - Chloë Grace Moretz gets a rumination on the forgotten generation in the cycle of discipline (2018-02-10 09:45) ......................... 41 February 11 - Sheryl Crow gets a tale of reliability and friendship (2018-02-11 08:50) . 41 February 12 – Judy Blume gets my self-identification as a writer (2018-02-12 09:28) . 42 February 13 – Jerry Springer gets a poorly-executed reincarnation (2018-02-13 09:32) . 42 February 14 – Rob Thomas gets a grievance concerning the fictional elderly’s technodic- tion (2018-02-14 09:34) ................................. 43 February 15 – Alex Borstein gets an off-hand jeu de mots taken literally by parental units (2018-02-15 09:38) .................................... 43 February 16 – Ice-T gets a burgeoning friendship’s first memory (2018-02-16 09:39) . 43 February 17 - Jason Ritter gets a household milk consumption analysis (2018-02-17 09:45) 44 February 18 - Yoko Ono gets a debunking of a wishful career opportunity (2018-02-18 09:48) .................................... 45 February 19 - Jeff Daniels gets a regular witnessing of car accidents (2018-02-19 09:51) 46 FEBRUARY 20 - CHELSEA PERETTI GETS A STORY OF LOVE, DESIRE, STRENGTH AND IN- DEPENDENCE (2018-02-20 09:47) ........................... 46 February 21 - Jordan Peele gets a reflexive tangent, with (0,0) as my original origin (2018-02-21 09:48) .................................... 47 4 February 22 - Rachel Dratch gets a posit on the catalyst to the extinction of humanity (2018-02-22 09:44) .................................... 48 February 23 - Patricia Richardson gets a fondness for my protégé (2018-02-23 09:37) . 48 February 24 - Edward James Olmos gets a religious rumination (2018-02-24 09:33) . 48 February 25 - Ric Flair gets a bucket list of sorts (2018-02-25 09:44) . 49 February 26 - Michael Bolton gets an assumption of his current state (2018-02-26 09:21) 50 February 27 - Derren Brown gets a new illusion he can try out on his friends before he takes it to the big time (2018-02-27 09:27) ...................... 51 February 28 - Gilbert Gottfried gets an unwillingness to calm a customer’s frustration (2018-02-28 09:29) .................................... 51 1.3 March ................................................ 52 March 1 - Lupita Nyong’o gets a keyboard kaper the likes of which she’s never seen (2018-03-01 09:07) .................................... 52 March 2 - Bryce Dallas Howard gets friendship incarnate (2018-03-02 09:22) . 52 March 3 - Ira Glass gets some insight into how I see the part of me that writes (2018-03-03 09:08) .................................... 53 March 4 - Patricia Heaton gets a receipt of my recipe for my recipes (2018-03-04 09:12) 54 March 5 - Penn Jillette gets a eulogy for the monkey switch (2018-03-05 09:21) . 55 March 6 - D. L. Hughley gets a pizza rating system for a city he doesn’t live in (2018-03-06 07:05) .................................... 57 March 7 - Bryan Cranston gets a Mortal Kombat announcer’s take on his job (2018-03-07 07:09) .................................... 58 March 8 - James Van Der Beek gets an understanding of a post-Nibs diet life (2018-03-08 07:01) .................................... 59 March 9 - Neil Strauss gets an inventory of my eccentricities (2018-03-09 07:15) . 60 March 10 - Olivia Wilde gets my favourite movie of in time (2018-03-10 07:19) . 62 March 11 - Benji Madden gets to see that being a twin could have been a whole lot worse (2018-03-11 07:24) .................................... 62 March 12 - Ron Funches finds out I am a card-carrying citizen of the cancer community (2018-03-12 07:32) .................................... 63 March 13 - William H. Macy features prominently in the first story I ever wrote (2018-03-13 07:11) .................................... 64 March 14 - Jake Fogelnest gets a rundown of the first season of "Trials and Tributaries" (2018-03-14 07:22) .................................... 64 March 15 - Bret Michaels gets a welcome mat switcheroo (2018-03-15 07:23) . 65 March 16 - John Darnielle gets a dream that, when scrawled on paper, evolves into a film about a calamitous first day at work (2018-03-16 07:21) . 66 March 17 - Rob Lowe gets my filmic concerns with slightly relevant #as#tags (2018-03-17 07:15) .................................... 69 5 March 18 - Queen Latifah gets an unplanned revolutionary origin (2018-03-18 06:22) . 69 March 19 - Glenn Close gets my Olive Moment™ (2018-03-19 06:38) . 70 March 20 - Spike Lee gets an encounter with a blind Venetian lady of the night (2018-03-20 06:50) .................................... 72 March 21 - Rosie O’Donnell gets a schubladenbrief (2018-03-21 05:59) . 73 March 22 - William Shatner gets a pretend interview with a fictional unobserved man (2018-03-22 07:03) .................................... 74 March 23 - Reggie Watts becomes a podcastellan (2018-03-23 06:33) . 75 March 24 - Louie Anderson gets Bartleby Brothers and His Seven Mothers (2018-03-24 06:58) .................................... 76 March 25 - Doug Stanhope gets a mugger’s salvation (2018-03-25 06:10) . 77 March 26 - Todd Barry gets a Hershey’s holiday hardship (2018-03-26 06:56) . 79 March 27 - Mariah Carey gets warned about the stalkers becoming stans (2018-03-27 05:55) .................................... 81 March 28 - Reba McEntire gets a foiled attempt at laziness (2018-03-28 05:25) . 82 March 29 - Lucy Lawless gets a word named after her, and then a bunch of other ones (2018-03-29 05:30) .................................... 82 March 30 - MC Hammer gets a break from having to constantly reinvent himself with sweet new dance moves (2018-03-30 05:43) ..................... 83 March 31 - Kate Micucci gets parodical jams (2018-03-31 05:52) . 84 1.4 April ................................................. 85 April 1 - Asa Butterfield gets a prank that goes just far enough (2018-04-01 11:43) . 85 April 2 - Chris Meloni gets a study of the Scandinavian Sprawl (2018-04-02 05:06) .