issue 1. – January 2015 stupidman 64. By popo. Oh wait. The game is called Superman 64. I’m sorry. Sorry I ever played this piece of garbage. It’s the kind that makes you wonder if game testers were used. After about 15 minutes it occurs to me that in order to fly, you press B+Z and then fly around with the control stick. But that It would at least not give me a doesn’t really help much if you time limit. No wonder Superman don’t know where to fly to. looks angry in the packaging. Luthor’s message isn’t much help. He’s trapped inside this hideous game. Not only that, I think Titus ripped off the Virtual Boy font. And so Superman never saw his friends again because Luthor’s plot worked too well. Too bad he doesn’t kill Superman. Too bad Gee, I can’t solve your maze. It Titus released this POS game. I’d ends abruptly in front of a rather play Penny Racers. building that I can’t go into. And Review: not only that, you have 90 seconds + cartridge makes a nice coaster to solve it. Then Luthor “wins” - game doesn’t work even if you and you press A to start level plug it in and start playing it. ONE over again. I know what Ratings (out of 10) Luthor wins. A wipe from my Graphics – 4 | Play control – 1 butt. If I felt like flying around pointlessly, I’d get Pilotwings 64. total=1 what’s this? I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “The Wii U came out! Why are you playing the Nintendo 64?” A Nintendo 64 is much better to get. I have two. And the games are better. I hate Miis. They’re stupid. I don’t have to deal with stupid usernames and crap playing the N64. I bet many of you reading All hail “the fun machine!” this are antisocial nerds who hate interacting with the real world. OK, maybe it’s just me. But still, the Nintendo 64 has lots of fun 1 – superman 64 review. games (Maybe I shouldn’t have 2 – this page led off the issue with a review of 3 – bust a move 99 review. Superman 64.) My job is to play 4 – page 64. them and give you my opinions of them. OK, it’s not really a job Nintendo stuff. Vol. 2 issue 1. since I don’t get paid. But you Created monthly by chris read. e- get my point. There are people mail : [email protected] who say “You were put on this Please write to us. If you do, earth for a purpose.” My purpose we’ll put in a letters section next is to review Nintendo 64 games issue. in 2015. I started in 1997 and damned if I’m gonna stop now. -chris. Feel The Beast. Bust-a-move ‘99 Basically what you do is aim bubbles with an arrow and let by chris. them fly up onto the board. If 3 or more bubbles of the same The year is 1999. Sega came out color touch, they go off the with its Dreamcast, and, well, screen. Unfortunately the screen quite frankly, nothing else goes down as time passes so significant happened. And in the there’s less and less time before “nothing else happened” the bubbles eventually crash and category, we have this game. I’m the game is over. But luckily, this glad that they decided to put in a is arcade perfect apparently so all one-player mode so I don’t have you have to do is press A to to put up with competing against continue. But once you press A a horribly super brilliant to continue and get too far in the computer (*cough* Baku Baku game it becomes impossible. *cough*) It’s just what I Like in the screenshot to your expected Bust-A-Move to look left, the game has actual like on the N64, except the music photographs as your background. sounds like it would It’s better than a blank black screen. Apparently Bust-A-Move 99 is rarer than the other Bust-A- Move game on the N64: Bust-A- Move 2. be on the SNES, not the N64. In case you don’t know what it is, it is not a Dance Dance Revolution Review: game. It is a puzzle game. Who + includes one player game knows why Taito gave this the - impossible starting with level D title Bust-A-Move? graphics/sound – 4 / play control – 6 \ total - 6 6 for a list of what should be on the page 4. Nintendo 64. So I thought of a good thing to start off with this issue: the back * A pinball game. Fun fact: The page, the page 64. Every issue N64 is the only Nintendo console needs a back, and here is ours. without one. An Addams Family And I thought of a good topic, Pinball game was talked about in too: Discussing N64 homebrew early N64 issues of Nintendo games. But there’s only one Power. It even said it would be problem: There aren’t any. I one of the first 100 games to thought I at least saw some come out for it. But nothing homebrew demos somewhere a came of it. few years back, but they apparently disappeared. So this is * Metroid 64. Hey, if Castlevania a plea to all you programmers out got to be on the N64, why not there: Get your lazy asses out of Metroid? easy consoles like the Dreamcast and start making some N64 * A game involving kittens homebrew goodness. And quit armed with laser beams. That whining about “But there’s no would be cute AND cool. documentation! What do I do?” Hey, if someone managed to * Know what would be cool? figure out the Dreamcast, Porting Super Mario 64 DS to the someone should get their butts to N64. Well, the top screen, work figuring out the N64. anyway. There’s an Everdrive for it, so homebrews should be possible to * A proper Conker game that play on them, right? isn’t crude and doesn’t cost $100. HINT: Well, that’s it from me. Next https://dragonminded.com/n64dev/ month I will have more on the N64. Two new games (well, new So there. I said it. And I ain’t to me, anyway) will be played taking it back. Woopee. And now and discussed. Join me then! .