What Procedures to Follow During the 12/13 th Days After The Cremation of a Deceased. Ajamila just passed on. The Yamadutas on the right and the Vishnudutas on the left While the body is being cremated the family members who had remained back at the home where the funeral had just taken place, should cleanse the house by mopping the floors with a mixture of lime water or rose water or just water with a few drops of Ganga jal in the water before the Claimant (the one who performed the rite) and the others return from the cremation site. When the family members return from the river/sea/ghat after disposing the ashes, they stand by the entrance of the yard and they are cleansed by washing their hands firstly and then touching the following items which are for purification. These are the following items: - touch water, fire and iron (or a metal) with syringaberry leaves and sprinkle this over yourself three times and then sprinkle a little water on yourself. After this ritual they enter the house and take a bath and wear clean clothes. Then the next step is after you have worn clean clothes, you now need to keep a picture of the deceased and a clay lamp in front of the picture, in a room or a designated area in a southerly direction. This clay lamp must be kept lit continuously for 12 days. On the 12th day this lamp must go off by itself. AND THIS LAMP MUST NOT BE TAKEN ON THE 10TH DAY TO THE RIVER. So for the next 10 days the deceased family observes an ªimpurityº period. WHAT IS MEANT BY ©IMPURITY©? Impurity in the religious sense is not the same as impurity in a microbiological sense, here we are talking of RITUAL IMPURITY known in Sanskrit as ©asaucham© in which one has to conform to a certain type of behaviour and place some restrictions on oneself and one©s socializing for a certain period of time. Ritual impurity or asaucham is observed for 10 days and is of two kinds; a. after the birth of a child - known as sutakam b. after death of a family member - known as mritakam. WHY OBSERVE ASAUCHAM? These periods of sutakam and mritakam have a religious as well as a social significance. In the case of death a period of mourning is prescribed lasting from 10 to 30 days depending upon the caste of the person ("According to Vedic scriptures, if someone dies in the family the whole family becomes contaminated for some time, according to its status. For example, if the family is brahmana their contamination period is twelve days, for the kshatriyas and vaishyas it is fifteen days, and for shudras thirty days". - A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Nectar of Devotion. Chapter 8 - Offenses to be Avoided.) During this period the family are relieved of their various religious and social obligations so that they have time to work through the grieving process. The situation is very much controlled in that what is to be done and what is to be avoided has all been laid down in the scriptures so in this moment of tragedy, loss and bewilderment the situation is controlled from without giving a feeling of security and reassurance. The relatives or neighbours will prepare the meals for the first three days and tend to all the domestic needs of the bereaved family and in this way the whole community comes to the support of the family. Asaucham is not a condition like a disease by which one is infected and has to wait for it to take its natural course or be treated with antibiotics! It is rather a condition which one imposes upon oneself. It is a sensible process by which us conditioned souls can come to terms with maturational changes in practical and philosophical ways, that create a positive or insulation shield of confidence in the knowledge that everything has been dealt with. In order to work through one©s personal grief, and to avoid disturbance to others in the community through sadness, moodiness, and depression, etc., this simple mechanism is in place. TO WHOM DOES IMPURITY APPLY? Impurity applies to the immediate family members including the father, grandfather, brothers, paternal uncles and their wives and children. A married woman observes the impurity of her husband©s family and not that of her natural family. ARE THERE ANY EXCEPTIONS? Yes the following persons are exempt from observing mritakam; the reason being that many people are dependant upon their functions and would be harmed if their essential services were interrupted, so ultimately it is the welfare of the group as a whole which prevails in these matters. Artisans, architects and builders, doctors and surgeons and other medical workers, politicians and administrators, Vedic scholars and officiating priests, those who are in process of a religious observance or vow i.e. brahmacharis and also those who are fasting for kavady or similar such vow. Those who have been initiated and are engaged in the performance of a yajña lasting more than one day. WHAT RULES ARE TO OBSERVED DURING MRITAKAM? So for the next 10 days the deceased family observes a cleansing period. So the family should only eat boiled food (no masala - but you can have salt *** read below) offered first to the Supreme Lord. I.o.w©s after cooking the food some of the food must be placed at your prayer place and humbly request Lord Krishna to first partake in that food. After this is done wait for at least 5 minutes and then take out that food and put it back into the pot and mix that food. Now this food is sanctified (Prashad) food. Do not taste the food while being cooked. The food must first be offered to Bhagavan Shree Krishna. Now the Claimant (i.o.w©s the person who performed the last rites) should eat the prashad first then the others follow. *** Many are divided about if salt can be consumed in these 10 days... The Sanskrit word the Sat Kriya Sara Dipika quotes is called Havishyana. And this is what Sat Kriya Sara Dipika says ªUntil the 10th day one should only eat havishyana {boiled food}º. (Page 147 Sat Kriya Sara Dipika.). In the Sri Hari-bhakti-vilasa (13.10-13) the ingredients for Havishya mentions ©Saindhava© salt (salt from ocean - Sea Salt). But with most families in South Africa the performer of the last rites ± the Claimant generally don't consume any food with salt. Again as with family to family the rules may vary and ultimately it's up to the individual to decide. Regular bhajans (Hanuman Chalisa et al), kirtans and scriptural readings (incl. Bhagavad Gita, Ramayan, Garuda Purana et al) should also take place daily until the 12/13th day. My humble advice is to keep a CD player on 24/7 with different bhajans playing softly in the background... The reason for this is that the deceased who is now a spirit is rather confused, disorientated and lost and playing spiritual music, reading sciptures and singing bhajans appeases and pacifies the spirit. On the day of the funeral there should be no cooking at the funeral house. This has been discussed above in this article as well. That can be done at a family or friend's house. This should be common sense because when you cook your mind should be totally focused on the cooking. Whatever state of mind you are in at the time of cooking your vibrations enters into the food psychically. So at this time the family are so devastated that any cooking should be done at another person house. The vibrations of the house also are rather low so things like cooking should be done elsewhere. No havan should be performed from the day of the cremation (the last being in the antechamber of the crematorium) until the 12/13th day puja. The scriptural reference of this is from the Garuda Purana and this is given at the end of this article. From the day of the funeral in the night outside the main door of your home, on a saucer place a piece of kush grass and on top of the Kusha grass place one Pinda, and next to that saucer place another saucer with water with a little Til (sesame seeds). Also ONLY for three nights starting from tonight - next to the pinda - place 1 glass of milk, 1 glass of water and light a diya next to the entrance door of your home (when lighting the lamp please remember Lord Krishna and pray for the deceased welfare). Pray to the deceased to accept these offerings. How to prepared a Pinda:- 1 handful rice flour, some milk, sesame seeds, a few drops of honey, few drops of red perfume water, little sugar, Jav and ghee. Mix all the ingredients together. Now make the dough in to a ball. PINDA The next morning offer the cups of water and milk and the water in the saucer with sesame seeds to a tree/plant and the pinda and Kush grass keep in a plastic packet and keep it safe somewhere outside the house until the 10th day. Counting from tonight until the 9th day, one should offer one pinda daily. Tomorrow morning after sunrise offer just the pinda on a saucer and the water with Til seeds every morning for the next 8 mornings. The 10th Pinda will be offered at the river side on the 10th day.