TRAUMA, DISSOCIATION AND THE JOURNEY TO SOUL HEALING A THESIS Presented to FACULTY AND THE MASTER OF PSYCHOTHERAPY AND SPIRITUALITY PROGRAM COMMITTEE of St. Stephen’s College Edmonton, Alberta In partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of MASTER OF PSYCHOTHERAPY AND SPIRITUALITY by Karin Gabriele Stewart Edmonton, Alberta St. Stephen’s College RELEASE FORM NAME OF AUTHOR: Karin Gabriele Stewart TITLE OF THESIS: TRAUMA, DISSOCIATION AND THE JOURNEY TO SOUL HEALING DEGREE: MASTER OF PSYCHOTHERAPY AND SPIRITUALITY YEAR THIS DEGREE GRANTED: 2012 Permission is herby granted to St. Stephen’s College to reproduce single copies of this thesis and to lend or sell such copies for private, scholarly or scientific research purposes only. The author reserves other publication rights, and neither the thesis or extensive extracts from it may be printed or otherwise reproduced without the authors written permission. Signature I dedicate this work in gratitude to my always patient and supportive partner Jim and to my also patient and supportive children Lydia and Alexander Abstract This research is a narrative inquiry into the immediate and long-term effects of soul loss retrieval as a way of recovering from long-term trauma and dissociation. Particular interest is placed on the ability of soul retrieval to restore wholeness and power balance to a person’s life. I inquired into the lived experiences of soul healing, as described by four women who participated in a soul loss recovery journey, part of the Trauma Recovery Certification Program developed and taught by Dr. Jane A. Simington. I chose this method because it is a pioneering attempt to blend modern psychoanalytic techniques with ancient shamanic approaches that are still being used in traditional cultures all over the world. This particular therapeutic approach to Trauma Recovery addresses healing at a soul level. It is consistent with a growing interest in the spiritual, and in particular, in the journey of the soul. Shamanism is one form within the spiritual domain that weaves in ancient spiritual healing techniques, thus enriching and gathering together old and modern understandings of how we heal at a soul level. This research is also responsive to the context of our ethnically conscious and diverse society. It raises awareness and invites conversation about different paradigms of healing, and potentially offers more easily accessible choices to traumatized people. Key words: trauma, PTSD, dissociation, soul loss, power loss, soul loss retrieval, soul healing, shamanic healing. Acknowledgements First I would like to acknowledge my thesis supervisor, Dr. Colleen Macdougall. Your support, and confidence in my ability as a researcher and writer were instrumental in completing this project. A great thank you to the staff of St. Stephen’s College who nurtured and encouraged me in my studies. Your stedfast support over the years contributed greatly to my perseverance and successful completion of this thesis project. A particular thank you to Dr. Jane Simington, who introduced me to the exciting topic of soul loss retrieval. Your your continuous support and encouragement were my guiding lights through the difficult and yet very rewarding topic of trauma. I would also like to thank my three co-researchers, who willingly and enthusiastically shared their time and their narratives with me. I very much appreciated your honesty and willingness to be open and trusting in the exploration of our stories. I hope that I have done your experience justice, and that you grew from our collaboration as much as I did. I thank my research support group, comprised of friends and fellowstudents. I greatly appreciate your time, input and encouragement of my work. Your willingness to be always available and interested in talking through my ideas with me and giving me feedback, made this project successful and actually enjoyable. Lastly I would like to thank my editor and partner Jim, who patiently corrected many drafts and supported me in the thesis writing process. I am a strong and self- confident person because you are at my side. Authors Note The topic of the inquiry is soul pain, soul loss, and soul recovery. Before delving into the topic of trauma and its effects on the soul, I would like to elaborate on my beliefs about the nature of soul and soul loss due to traumatic events. I believe that the soul is our connection with the Divine of it All. The existence of the soul is so far not scientifically provable, but for many nevertheless very real. Similar to the phenomenon of God, from a spiritual and philosophical perspective, the soul is being seen and experienced individually, on an intimate level. It can be perceived very differently, from one person to another, even when both people are from the same culture or religious orientation. M. Villoldo mentioned in his book Mending the Past and Healing the Future with Soul Retrieval (2005) that soul and spirit are in the domain of the mind. I agree that the mind is the control centre for the soul, but I believe that the soul is an integral part of every cell in our body. Every cell contains a complete set of chromosomes with all the information about who we are on a biological and on a spiritual level. Our collective subconscious knowledge, which I believe goes back all the way to our beginnings, is encoded in those chromosomes in the same way as the color of our eyes and the size of our bodies. It needs a communication exchange with the mind-brain centre to become activated, but is stored in the brain and on a cellular level. Each cell is connected energetically with every other, building a matrix within and around our body. Our body is our Soul, and the vessel of the Spirit energy (Fox & Sheldrake, 1991). Our body is the temple of the Divine, and there are many layers within that temple. I sought out the help of guided visualization and therapeutic art to inquire into my intuitive belief about soul, and soul loss, as I experience it at the moment. In a guided journey, I went to the sacred fire within me. There I invited my soul to join me and answer my questions about it’s nature and it’s role in my life. An old woman joined me in the circle and we had a long conversation, of which I do not remember much, but after the visualization, I had the desire to create a few pictures. “Figure 1. Soul as a vessel”, depicts the soul as a vessel. The blue colour symbolizes for purpose and direction, and black, the energy of power. “Figure 2. Inside view of soul-vessel”, depicts the vessel’s inside from the side view. The dark yellow center represents the Spirit, that which is part of, and connects us Figure 1: Soul as a vessel. Figure 2: Inside view of soul-vessel with the Divine energy of the universe and with every other element of the animate and inanimate part of the Earth. The Spirit energy is surrounded by the green energy of creativity and the ability to co-create life and our future.The outer red layer, around creativity is the colour of passion which supplies fuel and motivation to our creative powers. The outer layer of blue gives passion direction, and helps it to move forward. Black is the layer of personal power and authority that protects and strengthens the creativity, passion and purpose. I found it interesting that there is also a little bit of black between every layer inside the soul. It makes sense that every layer within the soul would contain a little bit of power and authority of it’s own. When parts become separated, due to a moderate traumatic situation, they are able to find their way back on their own with the help of this personal power and authority energy. “Figure 3. Soul vessel from above”, is the view of the soul from the top. In this picture one can see all the bands of colours, but the red and blue are out of place, which makes me believe that the layers are not static but fluid and interchangeable. I have the impression that the soul is flexible and adaptable depending on the character of a person, and the life situations a person finds him/herself in. Figure 3: Soul-vessel from above Figure 4: Violent intrusion upon soul “Figure 4. Violent intrusion upon soul”, depicts a situation of soul loss, a moderate- to-severe traumatic event has broken through the soul’s protective shield and has pierced the soul. This event that was so stressful that parts of the soul became separated. They are still connected with the help of the long black energy strands, but are outside of the protective shield, vulnerable and exposed to further attacks. Also, the protective personal power (black colour) is leaking in the places of impact. A soul with a leaking personal power also loses its spirit, purpose and direction. I believe that this energy receives constant replenishment from other souls of this earth, and from the universe, but the constant leaking makes it weak and ineffective. That’s why the soul reminds the conscious mind, with the help of flashbacks and triggers, to do something about it. The soul cannot heal itself without the cooperation and involvement of the conscious mind. Healing requires an active decision about whether one really wants to learn and grow; that decision lies in the realm of awareness and free choice. “Figure 5. Dissociated soul parts”, depicts what happens when the soul is violated severely and repeatedly. The whole soul has been split, or shattered into many smaller parts.