Meet Mike’s Important Dream Date Reader Poll See page 7 The Status Line See page 6 Volume VI Number 1 Formerly The New Zork Times Winter/Spring 1987 Douglas Adams' Bureaucracy Not very long ago, Douglas Adams It's a sad story, one that's replayed (who is, as everyone knows, the best- every day for millions of people selling author of that zany interactive worldwide. Of course, it's not always story The Hitchhiker's Guide to the a bank at fault. Sometimes it's the Galaxy™) moved from one apartment postal service, or the telephone com- in London to another. He dutifully pany, or an airline, or the govern- notified everyone of his new address, ment. All of us, at one time or including his bank. In fact, he person- another, feel persecuted by a bureauc- ally went to the bank and filled out a racy. What can be done? change-of-address form. Only Douglas Adams would exact Soon after, Douglas found that he such sweet revenge. He retaliated by was unable to use his credit card. He writing Bureaucracy™, a hilarious discovered that the card had been interactive journey through masses of invalidated by the bank. Apparently, red tape. the bank had sent a new card to his You begin Bureaucracy in your old address. spiffy new apartment. You're going to For weeks, Douglas tried to get the Paris this very afternoon for a combi- bank to acknowledge his change-of- nation training seminar and vacation, address form. He talked to bank offi- so you'll need to leave as soon as you cials, and filled out new forms, and get the money order your boss has applied for another credit card, but mailed you. Unless, of course, there's Creative Services Manager Carl Genatossio slaved over a hot drafting table nothing worked. He had no credit, some problem with the mail... for over two years before completing the cover art for Bureaucracy and the bank behaved like... well, like You'll soon find yourself entangled a bank. Please turn to page 3 Genuine Zorkmid coin minted for the Zork Trilogy Together again for the first time; Zork I, Zork II and Zork III in the same package In the beginning, three little Zorks The coin, which bears the handsome lived happily together in one big visage of Belwit the Flat, is included mainframe computer. They flourished in The Zork Trilogy package, along under the loving care of Marc Blank, with the complete games of Zork I, Dave Lebling, and a lot of other nur- Zork II, and Zork III on disk; a history turing computer types, and grew up to of the Great Underground Empire; a be humorous, challenging, and full of Frobozzco International stock certifi- riveting puzzles. cate; resort brochures from Bozbar- Finally, it was time for Zork® I, land and Grayslopes; a letter from Zork II, and Zork III to venture out John D. Flathead IX; and a strange into the world of personal computers. old map. As everybody knows, they made their Just imagine... Zork I, Zork II, Zork parents proud. One million people III, a heap of fascinating documents, welcomed the little Zorks into their and a not-available-anywhere-else homes. They were called "remark- Zorkmid coin. And it's all yours at a able," "fascinating," "beautifully writ- savings of 50% off the original com- ten," "masterpieces of logic." Count- bined cost of the three Zork packages. less awards and accolades were won, Commodore 64/128 and Atari XL/XE including "Best All-Time Computer versions cost just $59.95. Apple II Game" from Playboy Magazine in series, Macintosh, Atari ST, Amiga, 1986. and IBM versions carry a suggested Now, five years later, Zork I, Zork retail price of $69.95. II, and Zork III are together again, If you haven't yet welcomed the happily reunited in one incredible three little Zorks into your home, now Zork Trilogy package. is the time to do so... now that they're To commemorate this momentous all together in the extra special Zork occasion, the staff of the Frobozz Trilogy. Here’s the surprisingly original cover of the new Zork Trilogy, chosen from Mint struck a special Zorkmid coin. literally thousands of entries from across the globe. Page 2 The Status Line Winter/ Spring 1987 Dear Infocom: along. "Deadline!" I creaked from the I eagerly ripped open the envelope stretcher, "Deadline is the answer!" with the Infocom logo and quickly Mail Bag The police sergeant named Duffy pulled out the latest edition of The asked me, "That T-shirt you're wear- New Zork ... wait! A little change entries for the puzzle, but remember: I really glad I had looked back at the ing is a large, isn't it?" I told Duffy, threw me off balance -- but it was sent mine in first. helicopter until I turned back around "No, it's a medium." quickly regained. I opened the edition Sincerely, to see where I was running. When I Interactive-affectionately yours, and turned to page 6. Ah, yes, page 6, John Sadowski woke up on the helicopter, they were Jon Ramer home of puzzle number 11. I thought Buffalo, MN still picking tree bark out of my face. Great Falls, MT -- no, I prayed -- that I would be able Never mind that, though, I was res- to complete the program puzzle and Dear Infocom: cued! Free to watch more reruns of Dear Infocom: win! Yes, me! Winner! Winner of the The snow fell at an ever-increasing Gilligan's Island and Hogan's Heroes! My newsletter came with a distinct Infocom game of my choosing! I read rate, obscuring my view of the tree Free to solve Zork a twelfth time! Of perfume (perhaps Moonmist) permeat- about Leather Goddesses of Phobos line ahead. The wind whistled through course the snow storm came back in ing the paper. My guess is that the and I wanted it. That would be the my cloak, and my lantern squeaked in force. Fortunately, we crashed on top newsletters are stored near the scratch- game of my choosing. Plenty of sex, the cold. The miles had trudged by at of three cows. Not only did they sof- and-sniff cards used in the Leather action, sex, puzzles, sex, zany humor, an ever-slowing rate, until I finally ten the blow, but I ate steak for four Goddesses of Phobos game. On the sex; why, it had my name all over it! couldn't go on any further. I entered days until the forest rangers rescued other hand, my wife is convinced that The tension within me built! the small grove of trees and gratefully me again. the Infocom letter was perfumed be- I looked at the puzzle. Then I collapsed beneath a large tree with Finally, I spied the lovely little cause in the mail box it was sitting looked at it once again. Puzzlement low branches. Totally exhausted, I did quaint abode with boarded windows next to a letter from my (non-existent) befell my shattered hopes and dreams! the only thing I could think of to pass and a front door intentionally left lover. The perfume makes me a prime You had to match quotes with games! the time 'til the end came: I whistled. blank that I called home. I wondered Suspect, and of course I hid the in- This got me to thinking. I personally As I whistled, a beautiful little bird what I could have possibly done to criminating letter (according to her) have only two games (Leather God- flew over me into the branches of the deserve what happened to me. I but she managed to sniff out my Infi- desses of Phobos would've been my tree. The end must be close, I thought; opened my big mailbox with the usual delity by paying attention to Invisible third) so I recognized very few quotes this is too familiar to be true. difficulty (it hates to give up posted Clues. Our mutual trust, the Corner- (four to be exact). To win your puzzle, Then the little bird dropped some- mail) and realized what it was: my stone of our marriage, is missing. She I would have to know dialogue from thing on my head that was nothing copy of The Status Line had been in thinks some Enchanter or Sorcerer 17 games. Fine; how much would this like a brass bauble and flew away. my mailbox for six days unopened! I placed a love spell on me and that she, be? I calculated it out to be $654.15 Coincidentally, I realized that I had quickly remedied that fault as I my lover and I are Starcrossed Trinity. plus 4% sales tax; if I ordered them been whistling the theme song to the stepped inside. Reaching into my Now she is looking for a good Spell- through you, it would have been TV series The Hitchhiker's Guide to cabinet for a cup, I found one of my breaker. I need an honest Witness to $688.15. Being a college student on a the Galaxy. I decided to figure the china cups was inexplicably missing, tell my wife the truth. Without your very strict budget, I cannot afford odds of these two events happening so I grabbed another and poured my- help, my wife and I will become Cut- $600 for games in order to compete in together, hoping that it would take my self a cup of tea. The stories and news throats. Be my Wishbringer, and tell your puzzles.