☻Girl: Im like a radio,my mouth spkr,my left breast tuner, right 1 volume. Man:Can I try?(touches d breats)-no sound. Girl:U havent plugged in yet! ☻Nipple Nipple dont be far, can I press u in my car. Up above the chest so high, always milky never dry. Let me suck you, dont feel shy. ☻Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged ☻The sky is blue,grass is green,harder the fuck the louder the scream,louder the scream the better the fuck,give me a ring u might be in luck ☻Q:Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A:A woman bcos she lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2 stones with the help of a crane. ☻A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex? His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone. ☻Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2 do. MOM:Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thng. SON:got my nose in her armpit. Now what? ☻rooster&cat goin over bridge,cat slips&falls in river.rooster cant stop laughin.wats D moral?whereva therZ a wet pussy therZ a happy cock ☻LUV D WAY IT RUBS AGAINST D SOFT PINK FLESH N MAKES A CREAMY FOAMY LIQUID AS IT THRUSTS IN&OUT,UP&DOWN,CAN`T WAIT 4 NEXT TIME.LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH Management Lesson You spent 100% income on your wife and get 10% satisfaction. on the other hand You spent 10% income on your girlfriend and get 100% satisfaction. your money, your decision. ☻Mallika's T-shirt had a picture of a CAR MIRROR on it. Guess,what was written on it..Objects behind d mirror r larger than they appear ☻A Short thing It gets Longer when U hold it N pass between women Breasts N enters into A hole What is it? 1 min 2 think! Car Seat Belt U dirty mind. ☻Girl: If you get a chance, will you marry me.? Boy: If I get chance, why would I marry. ☻He came 2 me 1 nite explored my body licked sucked swallowed & had his fill wen satisfied he left... I was hurt... F***IN MOSQUITO U Dirty Mind ☻Define, Biology and sociology? . If new born baby looks like his father it is biology, if he looks like his neighbor than it is called sociology ☻A couple had a fight one night. When they were going to bed, Husband Taunted: “Good night mother of 3 kids”. Wife Replied: “Good night Father of none” ☻Five rules of girls 1: Love me but don’t touch me 2: Touch me but don’t kiss me 3: Kiss me but don’t use me 4: Use me but don’t forget me 5: Forget me but don’t tell to anyone! ☻Skin meets Skin When is that the skin meets skin, hair meets hair n balls disappear.. dirty mind its when u BLINK UR EYES ☻Mom: Why are you pregnant? Daughter: This is our project in college about “Miracle of Life” Mom: Tell me who is he? Daughter:I don’t know, it was a group project ☻When a man talks dirty 2 a women, its sexual harassment, when a women talks dirty 2 a man, its $$$ per minute! ☻What’s the geographical definition of love? It’s an action done by Pol-land into Hol-land between Thai-land, occasionally with a little help from Greece! ☻Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me. ☻Buy a scooty, pick a beauty, drink a frooty, take her to ooty, remove her nighty, do ur duty, after 9 month get a cuty ☻Teacher: why are you late? Student: My dad told me to take our cow to bull. Teacher(Angrily): Can't your dad to it? Student: No, only BULL can do it. ☻Tragedy of man’s life Nice men are ugly, good looking men are not nice, good lookin nice men are married, good lookin nice unmarried men are gay ☻One Boy To Another, What Did You Do On Mother’s Day? 2nd Boy, I Tried To Help Few Girls To Become A Mother ☻I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. =) ☻Do U know the full-form of COLLEGE C-Come, O-On, L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each, G-Girl, E-Equally That’s why boys go to college regularlyv ☻A man was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered - waiting for autumn. ☻In order to get 100/100 in life, a man requires 100% talent, whereas a woman requires only 4% talent & the remaining is only 36-24-36 ☻A cat tries to get a sausage out of a river, but gets its paws wet, then it see a bigger one but falls in! MORAL OF STORY? The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy! ☻Similarities of BRA & BAR. 1)Both have same alphabets. 2)Both are drinking zone. 3)Both have restricted time of opening & closing. 4)when both are opened men go crazy. ☻What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job! ☻Son – I want a baby brother . Mom – your dad is overseas. When he comes back we will talk over it. Son – why don’t you give him a surprise ☻A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock! ☻A young girl after her honeymoon came fully exhausted and tired, When her friends asked her what happened? She replied : When this 70 year old bastard told me he has saved a lot from last 50 years, “I thought It was MONEY” ☻A Sex expert was once asked whether a rape is possible while running. No, he replied, woman can run faster with her skirt up than a man with his pants down. ☻Teacher: What is the difference between Call Girl, Girlfriend and Wife.?? Student: replied Prepaid, Postpaid, Unlimited. ☻A man had "I LOVE YOU" tattooed on his dick. He went home and proudly showed his wife. "There you go again, trying to put words into my mouth", she said. ☻A baby dog asks mama dog: How papa looks like. Mama dog said: Your dad came from behind, I do not have the chance to see his face carefully!” ☻There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it. ☻One day there was this naked man and elephant, the elephant looks at the naked man for a few seconds, ask the naked man, "HOW CAN YOU BREATH THROUGH THAT LITTLE THING?" ☻A Secretary came angrily out of boss cabin colleague asked: What happened? She replied: He asked me are you free tonight? I said-yes & bastard give me 50 pages of work. ☻1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early." ☻Boy: I like the soft thing behind your braiz. Girl: what? Boy: your heart. Girl: I love the big thing between your two legs. Boy: what? Girl: your bike..;-) ☻Do you like mathematics? If so, add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply! ☻Difference between Problem , Talent and Kismat Two boys love one girl = PROBLEM! One boy love two girls = TALENT! Two girls love one boy = Qismat! ☻A man was lost alone on an island. One day he decide to build a wooden boat. Suddenly a girl comes and man used the wood for making bed. Moral: A girl can change your aim! ;p ☻In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another "I slept wid ur mom last nite" D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy's response. ☻He laughs & says, "Lets go home dad, U r drunk" ☻Dr: Mrs. Parveen, good news for you. Girl : What do you mean by Mrs. Parveen ? I am Miss. Parveen Dr: Oh . !! sorry Miss. Parveen, Bad news for you. !! ☻When an apple is green, its ready to pluck. When a girl in eighteen, she is ready to... VOTE. You dirty mind, Elections are near, but I know what you were thinking. ☻YOU! I TRUSTED YOU SO MUCH & YOUR BIG MOUTH IS NEVER SHUT! WHY DID YOU TELL OTHERS MY SECRET? YOU REALLY DISAPPOINTED ME! PLEASE STOP TELLING EVERYBODY THAT I M SO CUTE ☻Boy (to girl): What's there in between your legs? Girl: Hell! And what's there in between your legs? Boy: A sinner, who wants to go to hell. ☻Father to son: If You don’t pass your Exams this time Dont call me DAD, After some days…….. Father:How is your result? Son:Sorry Bashir Saab. ☻Girl & Boy were having sex. Girl: Darling, I want you to kiss my lips! Boy: Sure, which 1 would you prefer first, lower lip or upper lip? Girl: Middle lips, the ones right in the middle of my legs. ☻A notice in a factory for girl workers.