INTERNATIONAL BULLETIN FRATERNITY OF LAY THE DE CHARLES FOUCAULD Nº 91- Communication June 2014 Communication- News of the Bread of Life- Meditation Fraternities Quotations on Communication Contents Editorial 3 Communication – Bernard Weber 4 The power of listening without judging– Donald Miller 5 Mystery of the Visitation – Christian De Chergé 7 About Communication- Elena Gonzalez 9 News from the Fraternities 10 -Africa 10 -America 18 -Asia 31 -Europe 34 -The Arab World 42 News from the Spiritual Family 44 Practical Information 47 Building the Church of the Fraternity- Guy Deroubaix 48 Editorial Dear brothers and sisters, here we are with you again, with a new issue and a new theme: “Communication” that we will visit in the next issue as well. In this edition we include thoughts of some writers and some members of our fraternities relating to our daily life and to our rapidly evolving world where new technologies are replacing face-to-face discussion… “Living” by messages, emails, Skype… Confronted by all these changes questions arise: What is my role, as a member of the lay fraternity? To what extent am I living this presence, with and for the other? To what extent am I ready to listen to him/her and to understand what he/she really wants to say? To what extent am I capable of expressing what I want to say? This questioning helps us go beyond the boundaries for a better communication and consequently for a better encounter. The News from the lay fraternities and from the Association are here to bind us together around the world despite the geographical distances. May you enjoy the reading and may you have a good meditation. Goodbye! International Bulletin - Nº91- June 2014 3 COMMUNICATION “Between What I think What I want to say, What I believe I say, What I say, What you want to hear, What you think you heard, What you hear, What you want to understand, What you think you understand, What you understand, There is at 10 possibilities that we might have some problem communicating. But let’s try anyway…” Communication is difficult because of our prejudices, because we don’t understand correctly what is said, because we have difficulty expressing ourselves and because we have difficulty listening. There is an enormous amount of work to be done; we are at the dawn of communication. It is strange because now we have widespread and very powerful tools, we can communicate easily but we don’t use them. The more we have tools of communication the less we communicate and the more communication loses in richness. We are in a time when communication is going to take an enormous importance and when we should reflect: What do we communicate? Which ideas? Bernard Weber “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” George Bernard Shaw The Power of Listening Without Judging I have a friend who happens to be a rockstar— a strange and confusing word. And yet my friend is one of the more stable people I know. He doesn’t get down too much when things don’t go his way, and he doesn’t get all that excited when they do. He’s a terrific listener, too, and wants to know more about you than he wants you to know about himself. In a culture that praises fame, my friend hardly notices. He seems to see music as a service he offers, no different than a waiter bringing more water. He doesn’t think too much or too little of himself. And for the first few years I knew him, I just assumed he was one of those rare people who was given a heaping supply of wisdom and humility, and I think there might be some truth to that. But recently, I met one of the main reasons my friend is so emotionally stable and capable. I met his father. I was at a weekend retreat and my friend’s dad happened to be there, and we ended up sharing a room so I got to spend 48 hours or more with him, and engaged in more than a few great conversations. While talking about something I can’t remember, my friend made the statement that he’s made it a priority to never judge his children. I asked him what he meant by that, and he thought about it for a second and said he always wanted to be the kind of dad who would invite his children to be open and honest about whatever they were dealing with. And he said he thought he would accomplish that. He said he was often really surprised at how much his sons would tell him about their lives. They’d be out surfing and one of the kids would come over and just start talking, just thinking out loud about whatever they were struggling with. Why do they feel safe? I asked. International Bulletin - Nº91- June 2014 5 He said that he accomplished this by never judging his kids. He said when they were younger, he would discipline them, for sure, and he would serve as a teacher and guide, but he’d never allow himself to think less of them or express that they’d lost any “value” in his eyes. He also confessed there were plenty of times when he had to bite his tongue. Today his sons are adults, married and very successful, and yet they interact with the world as though they are wanted, as though the world would not think less of them because they are human. It got me wondering about whether I’m a good listener. What are my motives when I think less of people? For now, though, I’m wondering if you and I can pay attention to how often we “think less” of people. Try not to “think less” of yourself for doing it, but simply pay attention to when you are living into that mindset. And then ask yourself why… Why am I judging this person? Is it a good thing or a bad thing? If it’s a good thing, what good comes from it? If it’s a bad thing, what are my motives? Are my motives to feel better about myself in comparison? Donald Miller “You can change your world by changing your words... Remember, death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Joel Osteen Mystery of the Visitation I can well imagine that we are in the situation of Mary visiting her cousin Elizabeth and carrying within her a living secret, which is the one that we may carry within ourselves, a living Good News. She has received it from an angel. It is her secret and it is also God’s secret. And she probably doesn’t know how to pass on this secret. Is she going to tell Elizabeth? Can she tell it? How to tell it? In which way? Should she hide it? And yet she feels like bursting but she doesn’t know it. It is first God’s secret. And, something similar is happening within Elisabeth. She also carries a child. And Mary is not quite clear about the link, the relation between this child she carries and the one Elisabeth carries. And it would be easier to express herself if she knew about this relation. But, on this particular point, she has had no revelation on the mutual relation between the two children. She only knows that there is a link as it is the sign that has been given to her: her cousin Elisabeth. And so it is with our Church which carries within itself a Good News – and our Church is everyone of us – and we have come in a way similar to Mary’s, first to help (it is her first aim)... but also to bring this Good news; how shall we say it... and we know that those we have come to meet are in a way like Elisabeth; they carry a message from God. And our Church doesn’t tell us and doesn’t know what is the link between the Good News we carry and the message which is essential to the other. Finally, my Church doesn’t tell me what is the link between Christ and Islam. And when I meet Muslims I do not know the nature of this link. And when Mary arrives, it is Elisabeth who speaks first. Not exactly as Mary has said: as-alam alaikum! May you be in peace! International Bulletin - Nº91- June 2014 7 And this is what we can do. This simple salutation has caused a stir within Elisabeth. And within this stir something was said... which was the Good News, not in its entirety, but what could be perceived at the moment. What caused the child within my womb to stir? And most probably the child within Mary stirred first. In fact this affair happened between the children... And Elisabeth has brought forth Mary’s Magnificat. Finally, if we are attentive and if we place our meeting with the other at that level, with a degree of attention and a will to reach him, also with a need for what he is and what he has to tell us, it is very likely that he will tell us something that will connect with what is in us, to show his connivance... and allow us to widen our Eucharist, as the Magnificat that we can, that we are able to sing: it is the Eucharist. The first Eucharist of the Church was Mary’s Magnificat.