Dirty Farm Animals is a series of animated shorts that all take place on a colorful farm in BFE. The series follows the innocuous misadventures of a group of farm animals as they navigate life in the country. However, there is a rub. While each short seems harmless, each episode is written in double entendre. So, the pure, virginal, family-oriented situations can also be construed as tawdry, lusty, randy, raunchy and downright filthy-dirty by the viewer. DFA will be loved by children the world over. As long as the children are old enough to wax their nether regions without having to get parental consent. We believe those ages 14-30 will find hilarity in the word play and the rather graphic, sophomoric, humor. With recognizable, pronounced and extremely marketable characters, DFA is built to entertain. The farm and the barn have a worn and lived-in feel. A bit seedy and a little beat up, the scenery has the look and feel of a porn director’s well-used casting couch. The stimulating scenery and characters hearken back to the animation shorts of yesteryear. They have a vintage smarmy feel of a black velvet painting. Exaggerated, dated but idealistic scenery paints the landscape for each scene. Vibrant in color, but a little rough around the edges, The Dirty Farm Animals look as if they could benefit from a bath. Each has a unique personality, but also one subtle physical characteristic that is sexual in nature. These natural birthmarks are not obvious. The viewer may not even notice these characteristics at first blush. COCK ASS Rather stiff, but lovable, Cock is a proud rooster who Ass has a fabulous sense comic timing. One might say he is “rules” the barnyard roost. He seems very cocksure, so very cheeky. Through all the animal’s misadventures, he has he often rubs the other animals the wrong way. Cock maintained a stoic understanding of his place in the world- cares deeply about the others and often rises to the -and he’s comfortable to be the butt of the other animal’s occasion to come to their assistance. He is organized jokes. He calls his stall his “hole,” and sleeps there at night. and regimented, but often, his sermons spew from his But, during the waking hours he is often in the barnyard mouth as he thrusts himself in and out of some sticky with the other animals, offering them insight into his great situations. He’s like Frank Burns from M*A*S*H. philosophies. BEEF CURTAIN BITCH A large brown female cow who never homogenizes her A border collie with a penchant for being needy. When Bitch opinions. Beef Curtain is never one to mince words or is not helping the farmer corral the sheep, she’s hanging give you lip service. She tries her best to offer a taste with her friends in the barnyard. She always wants to of reality to the other animals, but they never seem to integrate with the other animals, but they have a hard time hear her commentary. Generally, her comments are accepting her. She especially annoys Cock, as he never spoken under her breath as an exclamation point to the seems to have enough time for the dog. She’s a bit of a dumb situation. She is mostly seen chewing cud and shaking bitch too, as she never fully understands a lot of what is her head at the various plights of the other animals. going on but seems happy in her twilight. PUSSY Pussy is a bit loose with her language and, unlike older PORK pussies, has no problem getting wet. She often puts Cock A pig who loves food and will eat anything, Pork seems to in his place and speaks for the other animals as the voice have his mind in the gutter at all times. He is gluttonous of reason. Pussy once lived with a family in a suburban when it comes to everything and he puts no limits on himself home until her disgusting fur balls became too much of a in terms of what he eats, what he says and who he says it to. nuisance. They dropped her at the farm years ago and she Although Pork is not evil, he is extremely crass and playful. has since quit licking herself to stay clean and, instead, bathes in a nearby stream (usually with Beaver). WILLY THE ONE-EYE'D HOOTY A barn owl, Hooty has eyes like headlamps. During the day, WONDER WORM he stays within the confides of the dark barn and joins the While the fowl on the farm would normally want to put Willy conversations from the inside as just two large, round bulges. in their mouths, he is an accepted member of the fraternity But, in the evening, he is wide awake, joins the others in the of animals. Willy is a problem-solver and, even when barnyard and bounces around like everyday is Mardi Gras. measured from his base, is the smallest of all the animals. BEAVER Beaver lives in a small pond near the farm. She is a fine friend to all the animals, and provides great knowledge to them about life on the outside. She is a hard worker and Other characters include: Nuts, Jerk Chicken, Black has been rode hard and put away wet on many an occasion. Cock, Pecker, Hair Pie, Snapper, (Trouser) Snake, She always seems a bit tired and worn out from a long day of work, but she is perpetually sweet and sensitive Prick, Hummer, Skank, B Jay, Ram, Clam, Tuna, Dirty whenever she deals with the other characters. Sanchez and Farmer Ballsack. Each episode of Dirty Farm Animals features a special musical interlude that emphasizes the theme of the show. The musical interludes hearken back to big Rogers & Hammerstien musicals. Each song have been/will be conceptualized and written by the creators. Both of who have extensive experience-- and credibility-- as songwriters. Each of these show tunes utilize the same double entendre as the episodes themselves. Including lyrics that would make Rusty Warren blush. EPISODE 1 - STINKY BEAVER EPISODE 6 - HAVIN' A BALL SYNOPSIS: Pussy runs into Beaver after the poor animal has been sprayed with SYNOPSIS: Cock is playing with his balls in the barnyard, having a grand time Skank’s skunky juices. Beaver asks Pussy for help in determining what can get the bouncing them off of Ass and slapping them back and forth against Beef Curtain. offensive smell out of her beaver pelt. One whiff of Beaver tells Pussy that Beaver When Bitch notices the other animals having such a great time, she too wishes to is a friend in need. She satiates Beaver with an antidote sure to get the stinking, partake in the fun. But Bitch always seems to rub Cock the wrong way. So, when she skanky, skunky spray out. asks Cock if she can play with his balls, he is less than enthused and blows Bitch off on more than one occasion. Realizing Cock will not give in, Bitch plays with his balls without permission. Then, she unintentionally bites off more than she can chew. EPISODE 2 - SWOLLEN SYNOPSIS: Pork awakes with puffy eyes caused by an allergic reaction. Fortunately, Beef Curtain directs Pork to Cock, who delights Pork by treating his EPISODE 7 - TAINT MISBEHAVIN' face to an old family remedy for just such an issue—his special tea-bagging. The SYNOPSIS: After eating a whole plate of “sinsemilla” brownies off the flat bed of medicinal bags of tea provide great relief for Pork who is indebted to Cock for Dirty Sanchez’ truck, Jerk Chicken, in his ganja-induced haze, ponders the open-air dabbing his eyes and face with his steaming, moist bags. space between Cock and Ass. He then goes about giving the open area the moniker: “taint.” The other animals are highly amused at the thought of the area having a name. It is, after all, just open space between two things. But, they all go about EPISODE 3 - RUSTY TROMBONE using the word over and over again. SYNOPSIS: Cock and Ass are strolling along the grounds when they happen upon something metallic and unusual sticking out of the ground. It’s rusty and awfully dirty, but, when Hooty comes along to explain that the object is a musical EPISODE 8 - DAM YOU! instrument, the animals are intrigued and inspired to try and play the instrument. SYNOPSIS: Although Beaver has spent her entire day building her dam, she has run The animals team together to make beautiful music for the whole farm to enjoy. out of wood and is beginning to fret that she’ll not have enough to finish the job. But, an overzealous Ass breaks the mood, and nearly breaks Hooty! Along comes Cock to see her progress on the building project and open to helping her acquire the wood she seeks. However, Cock is completely repulsed by Beaver’s filthy mouth when she utters the word, “dam” incessantly. EPISODE 4 - THE SWORD FIGHT SYNOPSIS: Upon investigating a strange noise in the meadow, Cock happens to meet Pecker, a woodpecker with an unusual behavior of incessantly tapping wood EPISODE 9 - EAU DE PUSSY with his beak. Cock confronts Pecker only to realize that the bird is extremely SYNOPSIS: Pussy introduces her own fragrance to the rest of the animals. territorial and ready to fight. The two brandish swords and begin to spar. A fragrance, appropriately called, “Pussy.” She must embark on a marketing Once Cock gets the upper hand, cooler heads prevail and what could have been a campaign to help sell her scent to the world.