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CallCall 11.855.996.6449.855.996.6449 oorr ggoo oonlinenline ttoo ggetet hhelpelp anytinme,anytinme, ddayay oror nnight.ight. LLearnearn mmoreore aatt bbeWellnm.comeWellnm.com be nm.com [2] WEEKLY ALIBI DECEMBER 1-7, 2016 DECEMBER 1-7, 2016 WEEKLY ALIBI [3] alibi VOLUME 25 | ISSUE 48 | DECEMBER 1-7 , 2016 EDITORIAL MANAGING EDITOR /COPY EDITOR: Renee Chavez (ext. 255) [email protected] FILM EDITOR: Devin D. 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The content of this issue is Copyright © 2016 by NuCity Publications, Inc., and may not be reprinted in part or in whole without written consent of the publisher. All rights are reserved. One copy of each edition of Alibi is available free to county residents and visitors each week. Anyone caught removing papers in bulk will be prosecuted on theft charges to the fullest extent of the law. Yearly subscription $100, back issues are $3, Best of Burque is $5. Queries and manuscripts should include a self-addressed stamped envelope; Alibi assumes no responsibility for unsolicited material. Association of Alternative Newsmedia [4] WEEKLY ALIBI DECEMBER 1-7, 2016 DECEMBER 1-7, 2016 WEEKLY ALIBI [5] incident on social media, saying he would be unable to attend events in the near ODDS future as he was still recovering from his serious injuries. D N ENDS Dateline: Arizona A A hawk that swooped down on a home in WEIRD NEWS Peoria, Ariz. and killed the family’s pet parakeet was immediately captured—having Dateline: Massachusetts trapped itself in the pet’s cage. Homeowner The FBI is offering a $1,000 reward for Becky Griefer told azfamily.com she usually information leading to the capture of the keeps her son’s pet parakeets—named PD “Spelling Bee Bandit.” The suspect, and Snowy—inside but decided to leave believed to have been involved in four bank their cage on a backyard patio table because robberies in the Greater Boston area, is so the weather was nice. Griefer was alerted to named because of his inability to spell the a loud banging noise in the backyard and world “robbery.” Investigators think the rushed outside to find a full-sized hawk had suspect, a 6’2” male in his late 30s or early flown into the cage through the bars. “I’m 40s, robbed four different banks in telling you, how can a bird like that squeeze Massachusetts over a two-week period. The in there without popping the door open is last robbery occurred at a TD bank in utterly amazing. The bird was flapping Peabody on Nov. 13. In every case the around upside down with its foot stuck suspect was wearing sunglasses and handed a probably wondering what he got himself demand note to the teller with the word into,” Griefer said. The homeowner saw “robery” [sic] written on it. PD’s body at the bottom of the cage, but was able to pull Snowy to safety. “She got a Dateline: Illinois little beat up,” said Griefer. The mother set A Chicago politician who criticized the the hawk free, but the predator returned city’s squirrel population ended up in the nearly 15 minutes later, “obviously looking hospital following an encounter with a for his easy meal.” Griefer’s 9-year-old son kamikaze squirrel. In October Howard was reportedly taking his pet’s death hard, Brookins Jr., an alderman from the city’s but Snowy—who the family says has 21st ward, went on a public tirade about outlived three mates now—is described as “aggressive squirrels.” Brookins told a City having “a pretty strong personality.” A Council budget meeting that, “We are memorial service for PD was held on Nov. spending too much money on replacing 21. garbage carts because the squirrels continue to eat through ’em.” Several of the City Dateline: Nebraska Council members reportedly giggled at the A Pennsylvania truck driver was arrested alderman’s rodent-based rant, and when the after allegedly dumping nearly 1,000 bushels Giveiivevee thettthehee GiftG of executive director of the City Commission of corn on a Nebraska road after he was on Animal Care asked what the city should fired via text message. Authorities say 36- do about these violent squirrels, Brookins year-old Darren C. Walp was arrested earlier was at a loss. “Well, the squirrels—uh—may this month in connection with the Aug. 4 Learning I get back to you on that, alderman? We’d incident on Highway 8 in rural Gage be happy to ... talk about strategies to assist County. According to WMTV-3 Walp was residents with wildlife. [But] I’m not sure at driving a load of corn from Reynolds, Neb., The Osher Lifelong this time what CACC might be able to do to Hanover, Kan., when he received a text Learning Institute (OLLI) with aggressive squirrels,” the Chicago Sun- from B & T Livingston Trucking LLC at the University of New Mexico Times reported him as saying at the time. telling him he was fired. “Pack your stuff brings the challenge and excitement Less than a month later on Nov. 13, the ASAP and you can leave,” the police report of academic discovery to adults age squirrels struck back. Brookins was riding quoted the text as saying. Walp allegedly 50 and better. his bicycle through the city when a squirrel responded by pulling over and dumping his Join the Osher Lifelong Learning leapt onto the path in front of him, entire truckload of corn alongside the Institute at UNM for only $20 and wrapping its body around the spokes of the highway. The lost corn was valued at participate in engaging courses, alderman’s bike and causing it to crash. $3,094. Local authorities