Event Planner Module 04 4. Module 04- Greetings etiquette and handshake protocol Table of Contents 4. Module 04- Greetings etiquette and handshake protocol ............................................................................ 1 4.1 Managing Greetings etiquette and handshake protocol ......................................................................... 2 4.2 Handshake, greetings, and kisses ............................................................................................................ 3 4.3 Personal space ......................................................................................................................................... 5 4.4 Hand kisses ............................................................................................................................................... 5 1 | P a g e 4.1 Managing Greetings etiquette and handshake protocol Working as an event manager, you will certainly deal with people from different countries, cultures, and backgrounds. This can be fun, but also can be a little complicated. The customs and rituals involved in greeting often differ from country to country, and unfamiliar customs may be confusing. The situation becomes even more complex when different greeting gestures are required between men and women, women and women, and men and men. Luckily, the ultimate pleasant gesture is used in every country. Although occasionally, in some cultures and under certain circumstances, it may have negative connotations, this ultimate gesture is seldom misunderstood and can be used in many situations. It conveys an array of positive emotions, and as such is the great bridge-builder between the peoples of the world. It is so powerful that it is thought to release endorphins into the body that generate a feeling of euphoria. It is, of course, the smile. Below are described the most common gestures, and how they differ from nation to nation. 2 | P a g e 4.2 Handshake, greetings, and kisses In the USA, it is normal for men to shake hands when they meet, but it is quite unusual for men to kiss when they greet each other. Greetings are casual, and a handshake, a smile, and a “hello” will do just fine. In America, people are taught to shake hands firmly. However, a bone-crunching handshake is much too hard. In the UK, people often simply say “hello”, followed by “how are you”, when they meet friends. In very official circumstances, the expression “how do you do” will be used. People usually shake hands only when they meet for the first time, and it might last for three or four shakes. It is usually the right hand that does the shaking. Very few people shake with their left hand, and it is considered rude to offer your hand without taking your glove off first. There are “power handshakes” that occur when one party either decides that they are superior or simply wants to win the battle of the handshake. In this case, the right hand is offered with the palm facing downwards. The hand on top seems to signify power. People in sales will often offer their hand with the palm facing up. This signifies that they will be submissive in the conversation that follows. Social kissing—often just a peck on the cheek—is common in informal situations between men and women, and also between women who know each other very well. French nationals, including children. The French shake hands and often kiss cheeks as well, upon meeting and upon parting. Between one and four kisses are given, depending on where the person is from. Here you should take your counterpart’s lead. If she or he leans in for an air-kiss or two, follow suit. Some French people might give you a kiss on the cheek as they shake your hand. Very rarely do the lips touch the cheek, however; usually it is a “pretend kiss”, and only the side of the face will touch yours. Europe. Handshakes are the standard gesture for business greeting throughout Europe. However, the European handshake is usually exchanged before and after each meeting, no matter how many times you’ve already met. An exception is the United Kingdom, where, as in the United States, an initial handshake is often the only one you’ll receive. European handshakes are more formal; they should be firm, as weak handshakes are considered limp and cold. A quick grasp and release is the norm. Finally, it’s customary to let women and those of higher rank extend their hands first. Kissing customs vary across European countries, and kissing is rather only used in less formal situations, where people know each other a bit better. In Russia, the typical greeting is a very firm handshake. Assume you’re trying to crush each other’s knuckles, all while maintaining direct eye contact. When men shake hands with women, the 3 | P a g e handshake is less industrial. It is considered gallant to kiss women three times while alternating cheeks, and even to kiss hands. In Turkey, the casual standard greeting is usually two kisses on the cheek. In some cultures, the handshake may be concluded with the open palm of the hand being placed on the heart. In the Middle East, close male friends or colleagues hug and kiss both cheeks. They shake hands with the right hand only, for longer but less firmly than in the West. A grip that is too firm is considered rude. The left hand is considered unclean. This is particularly important at communal dinners, where many hands may come into contact with shared food, but it’s also important when shaking hands or giving and receiving gifts. Contact between the opposite genders in public is considered obscene. Do not offer to shake hands with the opposite sex. In Japan, the common greeting for men and women is to bow, rather than giving a casual handshake or a hug. The timing, posture, and movement of the bow should reflect sincerity, respect, and graciousness. The more mature the person you are greeting, the deeper your head should be lowered. An improper bow hints at a lack of education and maturity. If you are not Japanese yourself, you are not expected to emulate this ritual faithfully, and a gentle nod will do. Follow your colleagues’ lead, and consider settling for a handshake instead. In Japan, these tend to be lighter than a paw-cracking squeeze. Chinese people tend to be more conservative. When meeting someone for the first time, they usually nod and smile, or shake hands if in a formal situation. Expect handshakes in China to be lighter and longer than in the West, and remember that there are different cultural expectations about maintaining eye contact. In the Far East, it is deemed impolite for a woman to shake a man’s hand. In India, the feet are considered unclean. Do your utmost to avoid touching any part of someone else’s body with your foot or shoes, and if you do so, apologies straight away. Pointing the soles of your feet at someone is also offensive. Handshakes are common in corporate settings: it is common to offer your right hand, and once the handshake has been initiated, you put your left hand over the other person’s left hand. This means that the initiator is now giving a two-handed shake. The receiver may also use the left hand, but it is not necessary. Bowing is rare outside rural areas and particularly traditional settings. In Latin and South America. Across most of Latin America and South America, handshakes are lighter and longer than in Europe. Avoid being the person to pull away your hand first, unless the handshake has gone on forever, or you might come across as rude. 4 | P a g e Finally, in some cultures, some may refuse to shake the hands of people felt to be beneath them. If you offer your hand for a shake and it is declined, just pretend it did not happen and carry on talking! 4.3 Personal space Individuals each have their own needs for personal space. If you need a lot of space, do not become disturbed or try to end the conversation when someone moves too close to you. In some cultures, it is normal to be “in the bubble”. In China and Latin America, if people doing business stand closer when talking to one another and casual touching of the arm or shoulder during conversation is not unusual. On the other hand, some cultures require much more space than in Europe and America. You should also remember that some religions, such as Orthodox Judaism and Islam, prohibit physical contact between men and women. Keep in mind that the need for personal space will differ for everyone, depending on their upbringing. If you are unsure, start with your own comfort zone and let the other person move to where they are comfortable. 4.4 Hand kisses Kissing a woman’s hand is very much a European habit, and has recently seen a revival in Germany and Austria. Neither British people nor Americans know much about hand kissing or how to do it properly. A hand kiss involves only one hand from each person and the skin is not touched by the lips at all. It serves as a sign of respect when a man greets a woman. However, the greeting becomes flirting when the man grabs the woman’s hand with both hands, squeezes, plants a kiss on the back of the hand, or accompanies the entire ceremony with an open or seductive glance. Trying to kiss or even shake a woman’s hand in Arabic cultures is an absolute no-no. Islam forbids any bodily contact between the sexes, other than husband and wife and close family. In Turkey, it may be possible under some circumstances for a man to kiss the hand of a much older woman as a sign of respect. 5 | P a g e Touching This may seem OK, but be careful.