Wonderful! 115: Experimenting with Conditioner Published January 8th, 2020 Listen on TheMcElroy.family [theme music plays] Rachel: Hi, this is Rachel McElroy. Griffin: Hello, this is Griffin McElroy. Rachel: And this is Wonderful! Griffin: Mm, let me hike this leg up. Let me throw it on over the big ol’ horsey. Ohh, get it up on over there! Back in the saddle again. Rachel: Oh, yeah, you are! Good for you. Griffin: I'm up so high. They don’t tell you that about horses, do they? The first time you get on a horse, you're like— Rachel: Yeah, really. Really high up. Griffin: You're like, “Here we go, baby. Time for an equine adventure. I've always dream—whoa, I'm like fuckin’, 11 feet off the ground right now.” Rachel: When have you been on a horse? I feel like we've talked about this, but I— Griffin: I was on a horse one time, and— Rachel: Oh, it was like a church thing. Griffin: It was my youth pastor’s farm, and I climbed up on a horse bareback, baby. Rachel: Really? Griffin: Yeah. It was a— Rachel: How did you get on there? Griffin: Uh, gumption. Rachel: No, but you don’t have like, a foot to put in the saddle. Griffin: Physics. I was helped up by the aforementioned youth pastor, and uh, got bucked pretty quickly, just one little buck, as if to say like, “No, child.” Rachel: [laughs] “You're not ready.” Griffin: And just the… just the—they also don’t tell you about the bones in there. There’s bones in the horse. And so, that—those got me just a little bit in my… delicate little china cabinet down there. Rachel: I can't believe your youth pastor thought it would be a good idea to put a person who had never ridden a horse before on one without a saddle. Griffin: Well, he wanted me to have that, obviously, very spiritual connection between man and beast. Rachel: [laughs] Griffin: But anyway, this is Wonderful. This is a show where we talk about things that we’re really into. Things that make us happy. Rachel: It’s been a long time since we've done one. Griffin: It’s been 800 years. Rachel: Yeah. Griffin: But we’re here, we’re back, it’s a new year, new you, new me, new us, new them, and… do you have any of those small wonders? Rachel: I mean, I have a lot. Griffin: Oh, shoot. Alright. Rachel: I'm not gonna share all of them. It’s just been a long time since we've recorded. Griffin: Yeah, that’s true. Rachel: Um, but I'm really likin’ my e-reader. Griffin: Oh, yes, I got Rachel a Paperwhite for, uh, Christmas, and it, uh, is so—I like e-ink. I like it. It’s my favorite type of ink is this e-ink. Rachel: I was really hesitant, because I thought, “Oh, this is such a small screen. You're gonna read like, two paragraphs per page. That must get really old, like, constantly swiping.” But it actually increases the sense of accomplishment. Griffin: Yeah. Rachel: You see the little percentage at the bottom. That’s great. Griffin: Yeah, I love mine. I love it. I love the idea of it being like a, um… like your… like, cyber… knowledge companion. Rachel: [through laughter] Uh-huh? Griffin: Uh, there’s a Neil Stevenson book called The Diamond Age, or An Illustrated Manual for Young Women, or something like that. And the whole premise is just like this, uh, young, poor, uneducated, like, little girl somehow happens along this magic, essentially, like, Wikipedia book that teaches you how to become like— Rachel: Yeah. Griffin: And she turns into like, this superhero. I like that idea of just like, “This is my knowledge bank.” Rachel: Yeah! Fits in my purse, battery lasts forever… Griffin: Yeah. I've been uh, I've been—my small wonder is, I've been reading Medallion Status on it. Rachel: Oh, isn't that good? Griffin: It’s such a good book! It’s the new John Hodgman book. We had him on the show on MBMBaM to talk about it, and, uh, I am late to read it. But, uh, I am enjoying it quite a bit. It’s very—he’s so fuckin’ funny, and this is like, one of, uh, a handful of books that I find like, kind of deeply relatable, especially the sort of chapters about like, uh, more menial observations about like, a travel-based lifestyle. Rachel: Yeah. Griffin: Which is, y'know, hence the title of the book. Rachel: I'm reading—also a friend of Max Fun, uh, City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert. Griffin: Oh, how is it? Rachel: It’s so fun. She, in a lot of interviews she’s given about the book, she’s described it as a ‘romp.’ And I thought, “I don’t really know what that means.” Now I do. That’s exactly what it is. It’s a romp. Griffin: Is it mad cap in any way? Rachel: Yes. Yes. Griffin: Are there capers? Rachel: Yes. Oh, so fun. Griffin: Oh boy. Hey, what’s your first topic for today’s episode of Wonderful? Rachel: My first thing is the wintertime pastime of ice skating. Griffin: Oh, okay! One of mine is also a wintertime pastime, but if you had duped mine, it would’ve been pretty wild. Rachel: This is gonna happen some week, and I'm kind of excited about it. Griffin: I think 2020 is the year where we dupe it. Rachel: Okay. Griffin: So, ice skating. Rachel: Ice skating. Griffin: Give me some background here. What’s your background? Rachel: I—so, I went roller skating a couple times, but the thing where I was growin’ up was ice skating. And your parents would drop you off at the ice skating rink for like, hour and a half, two hours. You'd maybe get like, a few stickers out of the vending machine. Uh, and you'd skate around. If you were lucky like me, you had your own skates. I had hockey skates that I asked for one Christmas. Griffin: Whoaaa. Rachel: Uh, which is much easier. They're much easier to skate on. Like, the figure skates with the toe pick? It’s a real hard time. But ice skates for… with hockey, no toe pick. Griffin: I would have to imagine that they would be a little bit broader blades, yes? Because like, you don’t gotta like, y'know, fuckin’ spin on ‘em. You don’t gotta… Rachel: Yeah, that’s probably true. Griffin: Yeah. Although, what if there was a hockey player who was like, “Nah. I want that very, very slender, delicate blade.” Rachel: Mighty—Mighty Ducks. Griffin: Mighty Ducks is— Rachel: Remember the woman on Mighty Ducks who was the figure skater that they brought on their team? Griffin: No. It’s been so long since I— Rachel: She’d spin around and distract all the players, and then she’d score a goal. [laughs] Griffin: That’s probably… that’s maybe not how it would pan out. Rachel: No, I don’t think so. Um, but y'know… she did it. Griffin: She did it. It’s a fantastical, uh… it’s a fantastical movie. Rachel: Also, I super have always loved watching figure skating during the Winter Olympics. Griffin: Oh, hell yeah. Rachel: I could name like, a dozen figure skaters. Griffin: What’s Tokyo? Summer is the next one. Summer is this year, right? In Tokyo? Rachel: The next winter one is 2022, I think. Griffin: Right. This is summer in—ah, shoot. I like summer. I—y'know. Rachel: Swimmin’. Griffin: Swimmin’. Rachel: It’s good. Griffin: But you seen one wet person… Rachel: [laughs] Griffin: You seen ‘em all. Rachel: [holding back laughter] Okay. Griffin: Nobody tapes knives to themselves and goes really fast on a hard surface in the summer ones, y'know what I mean? Rachel: True. Griffin: So, ice skating. Rachel: Ice skating. Um, been around for a super long time. Used to be primarily for traveling. In the 15th century in the Netherlands, people used to… Griffin: Holy shit. Rachel: … use it to get around. Griffin: This probably started with like, a sled, right? And then, somebody was like, “That’s cool, but what if it was just our shoes?” Rachel: Ice skates were made from leg bones of horses, ox, or deer. Griffin: So, no. Rachel: They used to be like, bone skates. Griffin: Then my thing is probably—that’s way wilder than my thing. Their thing is like, “Ooh, look at that leg bone. I'm gonna put that right on my feet. Whoa, I'm goin’ really fast on this cold stuff!” Rachel: [laughs] They were attached to the feet with leather straps. Griffin: Okay. Rachel: So, y'know, usin’ all parts of the animal, y'know? Griffin: That is taking it in a very literal direction. Rachel: Um, it didn’t really become a sport, uh, until… well, first, there was ice skating as like, races. Griffin: Ohh. Rachel: The fens, in England, they would flood the meadows, and then they would race. The fastest skater would like, go around a barrel and whatever, and they would win. So not really like, figure skating as we understand it; just like, skating as a racing… Griffin: I mean, they're on that Apolo Anton Ohno shit, it sounds like.