Catholic Diocese of Richmond Instruction for Marriage Catholic Diocese of Richmond 7800 Carousel Lane Richmond, Virginia 23294-4201 DECEMBER 2016 Letter from Bishop DiLorenzo Diocese of Richmond Pastoral Center • 7800 Carousel Lane, Richmond, Virginia 23294-4201 • Phone: (804) 359-5661 • Fax: (804) 358-9159 Office of the Bishop Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ, I enthusiastically present this revision of the Marriage Instruction for the preparation of couples to be married in the Diocese of Richmond. This instruction has been updated in accord with the new English translation of The Order of Celebrating Matrimony. Priests, deacons, and the entire Christian community have a great responsibility to preserve the integrity of the family. A primary way to accomplish this goal is by forming engaged couples in the vocation of marriage. The following instruction seeks to assist those in the Diocese of Richmond who are primarily responsible for preparing couples for marriage. This document represents a development of the previous printing of this instruction in a few key areas; namely, an expanded scope of marriage formation, convalidation recommendations, requirements for entering sacramental records, synthesis of the process for immediate formation, an emphasis on marriage as an opportunity for evangelization, recommendations for couples who are cohabiting, updated liturgical guidelines, and an updated FAQ section. I hope it will provide a more comprehensive approach to marriage formation in the Diocese of Richmond so that marriage may continue to enrich our local Church and the Commonwealth of Virginia. Full implementation of this diocesan Instruction for Marriage will enrich parish communities, the couples who present themselves for marriage, and their families. Therefore, I ask you to begin implementing this Instruction through study of the document and thoughtful examination and renewal of existing parish practices. With every best wish, I remain Sincerely yours in Our Lord, Most Reverend Francis X. DiLorenzo Bishop of Richmond 30 December 2016 Instruction for Marriage Page 1 © September 2014 Center for Marriage, Family, and Life, Catholic Diocese of Richmond. All rights reserved. Revised, December 2016. Parts of this document were used with permission from the Archdiocese of Chicago and taken from Guidelines for Pastoral Outreach to Christian Marriage: Formation, Preparation, Celebration, and Continuing Education, Cana Conference of Chicago, Family Ministries Office Archdiocese of Chicago, 2005 – revised 2011. Scriptural quotations contained herein are adapted from the Revised Standard Version Second Catholic Edition of the Bible, copyright © 1965, 1966, 2006 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America, and are used by permission. Cover art: “The Wedding Feast at Cana”. Paolo Veronese. 1562-1563. Louvre, Paris. Image is in public domain. In Cana, Galilee, Christ is invited to a wedding feast during which he performs his first miracle. At the end of the banquet, when the wine is running low, he asks the servants to fill the stone jars with water and then offer them to the master of the house, who finds that the water has been turned to wine. This episode, told by the Apostle John, is a precursor of the Eucharist. The bride and groom are seated at the left end of the table, leaving the center place to the figure of Christ. He is surrounded by the Virgin, his disciples, clerks, princes, Venetian noblemen, Orientals in turbans, several servants, and the populace. Some figures are dressed in traditional antique costumes, while others—the women in particular—wear sumptuous coiffures and adornments. Veronese depicts, with apparent ease, no less than 130 feast-goers, mixing biblical figures with men and women of the period. The latter are not really identifiable, although according to an 18th-century legend, the artist himself is depicted in white with a viola da gamba next to Titian and Bassano, all of whom contribute to the musical entertainment. The bearded master of ceremonies could be Aretino, whom Veronese greatly admired. Several dogs, birds, a parakeet, and a cat frolic amidst the crowd. Description from the official Louvre website (www.louvre.fr/en/oeuvre-notices/wedding-feast-cana) Instruction for Marriage Page 2 Table of Contents INTRODUCTION ....................................................................................................................................... 5 PASTORAL DIRECTIVES FOR THE FORMATION OF COUPLES FOR MARRIAGE ....................... 9 Role of the Pastor ............................................................................................................................................................................. 9 Role of the Parochial Vicar or Deacon ...................................................................................................................................... 10 Role of the Laity Serving in a Ministerial or Administrative Capacity ................................................................................ 10 Role of the Couple .......................................................................................................................................................................... 10 Role of the Community ................................................................................................................................................................. 12 IMMEDIATE FORMATION ...................................................................................................................... 15 Step One: Initial meeting with the priest or deacon .............................................................................................................. 16 Step Two: The couple meets with the pastor or his delegated deacon or lay couple to begin facilitating the premarital inventory. ...................................................................................................................................................................... 18 What is a Premarital Inventory? .................................................................................................................................................................... 18 Facilitating the Premarital Inventory ............................................................................................................................................................. 19 Step Three: The couple completes a marriage formation program approved by the diocese ................................... 20 Option 1: Couple prepared entirely by priest or deacon ..................................................................................................................... 20 Option 2: Couple attends a marriage formation program approved by the diocese ................................................................. 20 Step Four: The couple meets with the priest or deacon for the final time ..................................................................... 21 Step Five: The wedding rehearsal and wedding ....................................................................................................................... 21 Mystagogy and Enrichment ........................................................................................................................................................... 22 ESSENTIAL CURRICULUM ELEMENTS OF IMMEDIATE MARRIAGE FORMATION .................... 24 Pre-Evangelization............................................................................................................................................................................ 24 Theology of Marriage ..................................................................................................................................................................... 25 Natural Family Planning ................................................................................................................................................................................... 25 Communication and Intimacy ....................................................................................................................................................... 26 Spiritual Life of a Marriage ............................................................................................................................................................. 27 THE LITURGICAL CELEBRATION OF MARRIAGE: THE WEDDING ............................................. 29 FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ..................................................................................................... 34 Why does the Church have so many rules about marriage? ............................................................................................... 34 What are the requirements for marriage under the Church’s law? .................................................................................. 35 What if we don’t fulfill all of the Church’s rules? .................................................................................................................... 35 What is the purpose of all this marriage formation? .............................................................................................................. 35 Do I have to get married in my own parish? ............................................................................................................................ 36 How often do I need