As Long as We Both Shall Love The White Wedding in Postwar America INSTRUCTOR’S GUIDE As Long As We Both Shall Love explains why the American wedding has retained its cultural power, despite the many social, political, and economic changes of decades following World War II. The modern white wedding – an event marked by engagement with the marketplace, recognition of prescribed gender roles and re- sponsibilities, declaration of religious or spiri- tual belonging, and self-conscious embrace of “traditions” such as formal dress, proper vows, and a post-ceremony reception – has survived, and even thrived, Karen Dunak argues, be- cause of couples’ ability to personalize the celebration and exert individual authority over its shape. The wedding’s ability to withstand and even absorb challenges or interpretation has helped the celebration maintain its long-standing ap- peal. Because accepted wedding traditions, such as an exchange of vows before a select- ed authority fi gure, the witness of the celebra- tion by a chosen audience, or the hosting of a post-wedding reception, could be shaped to fi t personal values and visions, celebrants – from sweethearts of the early postwar years to hippies of the 1960s to same-sex couples of the 2000s – maintained those traditions. While couples had long aimed to make their wedding distinctive, as the twentieth century came to a close and the twenty-fi rst century began, adding a unique element to a wedding became an increasingly standard practice. The fact that weddings allowed for experimenta- tion opened doors for both how and by whom weddings might be celebrated. Traditions and celebration styles provided opportunities for personal and very often explicitly political expression, thereby challenging critics’ eval- 254 PAGES • PAPER uations of American wedding culture as one 978-1-4798-5835-4 marked primarily by crass consumerism and mindless conformity. WWW . NYUPRESS . ORG NYU PRESS Introduction Pages 1–12 SUMMARY As Long As We Both Shall Love begins with a discussion of the 2009 film Bride Wars. Playing to critics’ expectations of over-the-top wedding consumerism and poor bridal behavior, Bride Wars did little to improve upon the tattered repu- tation of American wedding culture. Critics skewered the film for its assertion that otherwise smart, savvy, sane women became unhinged by the prospect of a turn as a wedding day “fairy tale princess.” Audiences, who could get their fix of crazy brides at home, via WE TV’s Bridezilla, generally ignored the film, which ranked 56th of all 2009 releases. The film reflected a cultural trend – as seen in popular media, academic scholarship, and shared wedding anecdotes – toward critique of wedding culture and its celebrants for their selfishness, excess, and conformity. But Dunak argues that such critique ignores the possibility weddings INTRODUCTION have offered their celebrants for thoughtful consideration and articulation about the meaning of their individual unions and about the significance and evolution of American marriage more broadly. Rather than a ritual marked by rigidity and conformity, the wedding, across the twentieth and twenty-first centuries, pre- sented brides and grooms a location where they might make public their views on a host of issues. As they celebrated from the late 1940s through the 2010s, couples challenged expectations of mainstream American culture when it came to questions of familial and communal authority, gender roles and performance, and access to the rights and privileges of citizenship. While deeply rooted in an investigation of cultural representations of the wedding, at the heart of Dunak’s argument is the importance of individual wedding celebrants, whose views she chronicles through oral histories, letters, and personal reminiscences. While me- dia and the marketplace shaped ideas about what a wedding should be and do, how brides and grooms should behave and what they should value in their cel- ebration and each other, media and market influence was not static. The nature of advice and suggestion changed over time as the wedding industry responded to social, cultural, and economic changes that reflected the evolving values of the American people. Brides and grooms did not follow prescription blindly, but rather picked and choose elements of wedding culture that appealed to them and laid elements that did not to the wayside. QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION ➥ How is Bride Wars representative of broader cultural critiques of the white wedding? ➥ How would you describe the reputation of the white wedding during the early years of the twenty-first century? 2 NYU PRESS INSTRUCTOR’S GUIDE INTRODUCTION INTRODUCTION Introduction Pages 1–12 ➥ How does Dunak’s argument differ from popular conceptions of the wedding? ➥ Why is World War II such a pivotal point for investigation of American wed- ding culture? ➥ What does Dunak suggest about the relationship between individual wedding celebrants and the broader wedding culture of market and media? ➥ What role has individual authority played in celebrants’ understanding of their weddings? AS LONG AS WE BOTH SHALL LOVE 3 Chapter 1: “Linking the Past with the Future”: Origins of the Postwar White Wedding Pages 13–43 SUMMARY When Kay Banks prepared to marry Buckley Dunstan, she engaged in a battle of the wills with her parents, Ellie and Stanley, as they determined the guest list. Kay, who wanted a small wedding and imagined the day as her own, faced opposition from her parents, who believed it necessary to invite friends, family, coworkers, and members of community standing. Recognizing the difference between his own wedding and that of his daughter, Stanley Banks, the title CHAPTER 1 character of Edward Streeter’s Father of the Bride, lamented the time, cost, and consternation required of putting on a modern wedding. A best-selling book and a box office smash, Father of the Bride spoke to many of the changes marking American wedding culture during the years following World War II. While those looking back to the early postwar period would describe Kay Banks’s wedding as “traditional,” the celebration was a marked departure from many of the celebra- tions with which Americans were familiar. Weddings of the first half of the twen- tieth century, in fact, were marked more by their variety than by their adherence to a standard form. Region, ethnicity, race, and class determined the shape of a wedding celebration as couples followed diverse practices handed down by family or community members. A white wedding celebration style existed, to be sure, but such a celebration was celebrated primarily among the elite and up- per-middle classes. In the aftermath of World War II, the expansion of the middle class and democratization of American consumer culture created an environment in which the white wedding style could – and did – thrive. Popular memory of the 1950s looks to the era as a time of contentment and conformity, but the devel- opment of the postwar white wedding points to the tremendous changes – the growing focus on the personal rather than the communal, increased participation in an expanded consumer economy, and the rising authority of peer culture over family culture – that marked 1950s culture as anything but staid or predictable. During the postwar years, the white wedding provided a safe, and in some ways natural, vehicle for experimenting with the many social and cultural changes on the horizon. The language of tradition – so celebrated in the marketplace – masked many of the challenges being waged through the newly standardized style of American wedding celebration. QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION ➥ How did Father of the Bride reflect generational tensions about how a wed- ding should be celebrated? ➥ What accounted for the diversity of wedding celebration styles in the years before World War II? 4 NYU PRESS INSTRUCTOR’S GUIDE CHAPTER 1 CHAPTER 1 Chapter 1: “Linking the Past with the Future”: Origins of the Postwar White Wedding Pages 13–43 ➥ What role did World War II play in contributing to the establishment of a stan- dard form of wedding celebration? ➥ How did the concept of the wedding as the “bride’s day” mark a shift in wed- ding culture? ➥ What accounted for the diminishing influence of family and local community in wedding celebrations? ➥ In what ways did the white wedding of the post-World War II years reflect modern ideas about American life? AS LONG AS WE BOTH SHALL LOVE 5 Chapter 2: “The Same Thing That Happens to All Brides”: Luci Johnson, the American Public, and the White Wedding Pages 44–74 SUMMARY By the mid-1960s, the white wedding was a ubiquitous force in American culture, understood to be and accepted as the standard style of celebration. Despite its popularity, however, questions remained when it came to what purpose a wed- ding should serve and who should have a voice in determining that purpose. Public response to Luci Baines Johnson’s very public White House wedding brought many of these questions to the surface. Johnson’s desire to keep the CHAPTER 2 wedding private and limit coverage of the wedding day infuriated Americans who believed they had a right to witness the wedding. Relying on ideas of the wedding as a community celebration, many American citizens wrote to the White House asking, sometimes demanding, that Johnson reconsider her decision to ban television cameras during the wedding ceremony. While Johnson was fol- lowing advice of popular wedding literature in focusing on her own desires and seizing the wedding as “her day,” the public rejected this rationale and assert- ed the fundamental role community played in a wedding. Luci Johnson was a public figure, which put her in a unique position, but she and her White House representatives consistently referred to her as being like “any other girl.” And like any other girl, she received input from unanticipated – and often unwelcome – sources.