1 Hosta Seizure While gardeners tend their hostas, hostas tend their gardeners … Table of Contents 10 No Satisfaction ................................................................................................................. 3 11 Sleeping Sickness ............................................................................................................ 13 12 Triangles and Thomas Kuhn ............................................................................................ 18 13 Emph Memory ................................................................................................................ 26 14 Twisted Sister's Twisted Sister ........................................................................................ 28 15 Humans 101 .................................................................................................................... 31 16 Halcyon Days .................................................................................................................. 33 17 Honeymoon Hosta .......................................................................................................... 38 19 From the Mouth of Babes ............................................................................................... 48 20 Hosta Beleafs .................................................................................................................. 49 21 Back at the Office Park .................................................................................................... 53 22 Creation Hostary Class .................................................................................................... 57 23 Blue Haired Reverie ........................................................................................................ 61 24 Rousing the Hosta Laureate ............................................................................................ 62 25 One Night Among Thousands .......................................................................................... 72 26 Making Arrangements .................................................................................................... 75 27 Nurturing Desire ............................................................................................................. 80 28 Sleeping on the Job ......................................................................................................... 81 29 A New Display for Agnes ................................................................................................. 88 30 Sleeping on a Riddle ...................................................................................................... 102 31 Queen of the Seas ......................................................................................................... 106 32 F.O.B. ........................................................................................................................... 115 33 Rejoining Ayoka ............................................................................................................ 119 34 After the Party .............................................................................................................. 133 35 A Human Emph? ........................................................................................................... 137 36 Twisted Sister, R.I.P. ..................................................................................................... 141 Hosta Seizure © 2013 by Jim Henry 2 37 A New Place to Sleep .................................................................................................... 148 38 A Human Emph! ............................................................................................................ 152 39 An Interview at Captain Burt’s ...................................................................................... 158 40 Say You Want a Revolution ........................................................................................... 160 41 Creation in the Garden of Agnes.................................................................................... 164 42 When It Rains, It Pours .................................................................................................. 168 43 Establishing Roots ......................................................................................................... 172 44 Fugitive Life .................................................................................................................. 177 45 Taking Care of Business ................................................................................................. 181 46 Triangulating Imagination ............................................................................................. 186 47 Putting Copernicus to Sleep .......................................................................................... 190 48 Terms of Engagement ................................................................................................... 195 49 Wake-up Call ................................................................................................................ 198 50 Metrics for a Revolution ............................................................................................... 208 51 Hablando Español ......................................................................................................... 212 52 A Follow-up with Stuart Green ...................................................................................... 215 53 Witnessing Forward ...................................................................................................... 219 54 Meeting Athena ............................................................................................................ 225 55 A Ship Captain’s Maneuvering ....................................................................................... 230 56 Singing in the Rain ........................................................................................................ 234 57 A Voice from Beyond .................................................................................................... 244 58 A Letter from an Ally ..................................................................................................... 248 59 Demetrio’s Nightmare .................................................................................................. 250 60 Metrics for a Viking ....................................................................................................... 257 61 Collaboration ................................................................................................................ 259 62 Location, Location, Location .......................................................................................... 262 63 No News is Bad News .................................................................................................... 268 64 An Amigo in Need ......................................................................................................... 271 65 Aerobics Class ............................................................................................................... 272 66 Under the Drinking Gourd ............................................................................................. 275 67 At the Station ............................................................................................................... 279 Hosta Seizure © 2013 by Jim Henry 3 68 Blue Wedgwood’s Secrets Revealed .............................................................................. 281 69 Empathizing .................................................................................................................. 284 10 No Satisfaction Following Funky’s initial visit to Cass and Gloria’s, he had dropped off a few issues of The Hosta Journal for them to peruse, along with The New Encyclopedia of Hostas and one book on gardening principles more generally. A couple of days later, while at home reading a blog from someone in the Midwest on hosta, he received a telephone call from the women. “Funky?” asked a husky voice that was obviously Gloria’s. “Yep.” “It’s Cass and Gloria. We’ve got you on speakerphone, and we’d like to run some ideas by you.” “Cool! Shoot!” “Well, first of all, thanks again for lending us your materials. It’s been really educational and now we have a lot of ideas.” This voice was Cass’s, a bit further from the phone. “My pleasure. I’m always happy to provoke a hosta takeover,” he chuckled. Audible groans followed from the other end, and then a gurgly chortle Funky suspected belonged to Cass. “What do you think of Frosted Jade? The Encyclopedia has a photo of one, and it’s got pretty white margins.” “Oh, yeah. It’ll stop you dead in your tracks if you come up on a mature specimen at twilight.” "In a good way?" This comment H. ‘Frosted Jade’ sounded like Cass. Hosta Seizure © 2013 by Jim Henry 4 "In a majorly good way. One of those that makes you just gape. Want me to get one?" “Please do,” Gloria responded. Then she added, "What about Orange Marmalade?" "Oh, it's real pretty, too. It tends to sport, but you could always isolate the division, stabilize it, and introduce a new hosta yourselves later on." After a few moments of silence, Cass said, "Could you repeat that?" Funky realized he had slipped into a description a little too esoteric for hosta newbies, so he backtracked: "I'm pretty sure I can get you one quickly, 'cause it's showing up more