MIKE Sports Comic Books FREE Series | Volume 6 Soccer Comics ©2013 New Vision Entertainment www.theemike.com Introduction Known as football throughout the non-American sports universe, soccer boasts its own unique language, eccentric expressions and unparalleled personalities. Soccer is the world’s most popular sport by a long shot, in spite of its peculiarities. For example, soccer keeps time in the exact opposite direction of every other sport on the planet. Secondly, soccer matches, not games, are played by men wearing boots rather than cleats atop a pitch instead of a field. When overdone, soccer’s inexcusably melodramatic flopping may sully spectators’ enjoyment. Soccer fans also get flummoxed by the inexplicable calculation of stoppage time and anti-climactic penalty kick shootouts that decide championship games. However, this international sport has flourished for generations. Incredible athletes, iconic coaches and passionate fans cause both the wealthiest and poorest nations of the world to bask in the brilliance of the Beautiful Game. In this FREE soccer book, you won’t need to fear the sport’s most frightening characters, aptly nicknamed Scarface and The Cannibal. You’ll enjoy reading about the cleverly named and highly entertaining British soccer players Spice Boy and Calamity James. You’ll even discover there really was a Fifth Beatle. You’ll look up to the goal scoring exploits of taller, long-necked stars The Giraffe and Two Meter Peter. You’ll relish in the allure of the Beautiful Game, the cleanliness of a goalie’s extra-tidy clean sheet and the “joie de vie” that a Frenchman named Va Va Voom exudes. References to monarchs, leaders and twentieth century politics are captured by this sport. Expect to meet a Kaiser, a Child of the King and come face to face with soccer’s impenetrable Berlin Wall. You’ll be impressed by a Genius, dazzled by a Magic Dwarf and enchanted by a Portuguese player with Magic Feet. Finally, after a little assistance from soccer’s most debated Hand of God, you’ll finish this FREE read by paying homage to the sport’s most sacred celestial stars - Messi and Pele. Kick this book around on your own or pass it to a friend. If you love the Beautiful Game, you’ll want to share these clever comics and lively sports trivia with fellow soccer fans. And, best yet, the book is FREE! MIKE – thee ultimate talking head on sports! Table of Contents Introduction Why read this FREE soccer comic book? Favorite #25: Scarface Favorite #24: Stoppage Time Favorite #23: Child of the King Favorite #22: Ref Swallowed Whistle Favorite #21: Brazil’s Joy of the People Favorite #20: Two Meter Peter Crouch Favorite #19: The Cannibal Khalid Boulahrouz Favorite #18: Came Out Flat Favorite #17: Va Va Voom Favorite #16: Calamity James Favorite #15: Clean Sheet Favorite #14: The Kaiser Favorite #13: The Giraffe Favorite #12: Lots of Weapons Favorite #11: The Genius Favorite #10: Marta Favorite #9: Flopping Favorite #8: Magic Dwarf Philipp Lahm Favorite #7: The Berlin Wall Favorite #6: Spice Boy David Beckham Favorite #5: Fifth Beatle George Best Favorite #4: Magic Feet Cristiano Ronaldo Favorite #3: Hand of God Goal Favorite #2: Lionel Messi Favorite #1: Pele FREE Bonus Books Meet the MIKE Makers Why read this book? As the sports world’s ultimate talking head, I immediately connect with readers. Sports fans of all ages love my colorful stories, candid comments and creative content. My books are always entertaining and easy to read. Plus, the unique sports comics that accompany each chapter cleverly capture the essence of the featured player, team, coach, play and, in this book, soccer expression. As an added bonus, I always offer something for FREE in each of my sports comic books. See the back of this book for details. Check out my author profile on Amazon.com, follow me on Twitter and fan me on Facebook. Straight talk. No static. MIKE – thee ultimate talking head on sports! #25 Soccer Comic Franck Ribery earned his nickname Scarface from the noticeable facial scars he suffered in a car accident as a child. His frightening speed, chilling patience and punishing style truly scare his opposition on the soccer pitch. Plus, the scars on his face have made many compare Ribery to Al Pacino’s frightening character Tony Montana from the movie Scarface. This Frenchman may look like a back yard brawler, but his game is beautiful on the soccer field. Legendary French midfielder Zinedine Zidane once called Ribery, “the jewel of French football.” One of European football’s top overall players, Ribery signed with Bundesliga powerhouse Bayern Munich in 2008. While with the German club, Ribery’s outstanding play has been instrumental in Bayern Munich’s success, which includes the 2013 UEFA Champions League championship. Many fans focus on the scars lining Franck Ribery’s face. But, Scarface’s energy, incredible pace and overall beautiful skill on the pitch have made him, like Al Pacino’s legendary character, a superstar. Not on the big screen, but in international football. MIKE – thee ultimate talking head on sports! #24 Soccer Comic Stoppage Time in soccer is one of the real mysteries in sports! Many soccer fans don’t understand the eccentricity of this time keeping method practiced in soccer games at every level across the globe. Exactly why is it called Stoppage Time when the clock continues to run in the overtime period - backwards? Let’s just say the clock continues to run in the exact opposite direction of every other clock in every other sport in the world. Stoppage Time is so confusing that it’s certain to give migraines to fans outside the sport. For example, they wonder what the top secret formula is to actually calculate Stoppage Time. Does it require an abacus or an advanced degree in math? Or, do the refs just guess? While watching UEFA Champions League games, most fans expect results to boil down to a ref who arbitrarily uses some arcane formula to determine a few extra minutes of action at the end of a game. If there’s one thing that needs to be stopped about soccer, it’s the ridiculous notion of Stoppage Time itself. MIKE – thee ultimate talking head on sports! #23 Soccer Comic In the 1981 movie History of the World Part I, comedian Mel Brooks popularized the saying, "It's good to be the king." Being king might be great, but it could be totally intimidating if you’re an offspring athlete who sets out to play the same sport as your legendary - and royally talented - dad. Jordi Crujff, son of legendary Dutch soccer star Johan Crujff, did just that. He followed in the fabulous football boots of his father, Johan Crujff, named in 1999 the European Player of the Century. Son Jordi Crujff was so successful on the soccer pitch that he earned the titled nickname Child of the King. The younger Crujff’s international soccer career exceeded the expectations of the naysayers. His on-field success silenced critics and overcame all doubts about his ability. Johan Crujff, the King of Dutch soccer, may have sired the younger Jordi. However, Jordi's long, impressive career as both player and coach is testament that this son of a soccer king is certainly no child. MIKE - thee ultimate talking head on sports! #22 Soccer Comic Regardless of the sport, referees take lots of heat for the impossible roles they perform. Fans routinely hoot, heckle and holler at refs, whether they’re commenting courtside, from the upper deck, at a sports bar or even from their own living rooms. This clever comic brings one of my favorite sports clichés to life. It captures the accusation that a ref swallowed his whistle during a key play in the match. This soccer illustration metaphorically proves an old adage. The actions of the players should decide the outcome of a close game - not a really bad call from an overzealous ref who should have swallowed his whistle in the first place. MIKE – thee ultimate talking head on sports! #21 Soccer Comic These words are written on the tombstone of our next soccer star. “Here rests in peace one who was the Joy of the People.” Often compared to Lionel Messi, Manuel Garrincha, known as Joy of the People, exploded onto the world soccer stage after overcoming a challenging childhood in the projects of Rio de Janiero. During his time with the Brazilian nationals, Garrincha was an unstoppable right wing who led his country to World Cup crowns in 1958 and 1962. Unfortunately, this brilliant footballer became a poor alcoholic. In his post soccer playing days, this star striker suffered physical, mental, emotional, marital and financial troubles. His pained life may always remain a mystery to those who knew him. Despite his personal problems, Manuel Garrincha will never be forgotten. For the joy he brought to Brazilian soccer fans and the symbol of success he brought to the sport, he’ll forever be Brazil’s Joy of the People. MIKE – thee ultimate talking head on sports! #20 Soccer Comic Most fans’ favorite nickname for the rail thin 6’7” Crouch is Two Meter Peter because he stands about two meters tall. The British media also named him Crouchy for his grumpy attitude and Coat Hanger for his lanky frame. Despite the barbs for his unusual height, redheaded features and skinny build, Two Meter Peter is a solid striker with a very good touch on the ball. Two Meter Peter has laced up his soccer boots for several English Premier League teams. The unlikely tallish Crouch proved stereotypes wrong, playing for the English national team since 2005, collecting 42 caps and netting 22 goals.