Early Curfew # 1 Recently, your community officials have proposed that young people under the age of 15 cannot be out after 8:00 p.m. unless they are with an adult. Take a position on this proposal. Write a multiple-paragraph letter to the officials persuading them to support your position. Intro, T I do not agree with the 8:00 pm curfue. I do not agree with the 8:00 pm curfue because what if you are going home from a freinds house or what if you need to get the mail. Concl and that is why I don’t agree with the 8:00 pm curfue. This response demonstrates an insufficient ability to persuade a reader. A simple position statement (I do not agree with the 8:00 pm curfue) is followed by two possible arguments (...what if you are going home from a freinds house or what if you need to get the mail) with no elaboration. A weak closing merely repeats the position (and that is why I don’t agree with the 8:00 pm curfue). The paragraph is more of a reaction than an argument, focusing more on the writer’s feelings than on the audience’s understanding or position on the issue. Sentences are simple and repetitive (I do not agree...I do not agree...), without variety in structure; word choice is extremely limited. This minimal response shows little sense of wholeness or completeness. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 1. COS 1 Pasco School District Mid-Year Common Writing Assessment Grade 7 Scoring Papers, Page 1 of 22 Early Curfew #2 Recently, your community officials have proposed that young people under the age of 15 cannot be out after 8:00 p.m. unless they are with an adult. Take a position on this proposal. Write a multiple-paragraph letter to the officials persuading them to support your position. Dear Community Officials, Intro I oppose that young people under 15 cannot be out after 8:00 p.m. unless we are with a adult. I am now 13 so I oppose big time. T I want to go out past 8:00 p.m. to play with my friends and play hoops. I just T like to see the moon and the stars. Concl So that is why I oppose on the early curfew. This response demonstrates an insufficient ability to persuade a reader. The opening states a position (I oppose that young people under 15 cannot be out after 8:00 p.m. unless we are with a adult) and makes a minimal attempt to give a sense of the writer (I am now 13 so I oppose big time). The response then provides two arguments that express the desires of the writer, with no further attempt at development of ideas (I want to go out past 8:00 pm to play with my friends and play hoops. I just like to see the moon and the stars). While it is conceivable that the second statement might possibly be an attempt to develop the first statement, such a connection is a stretch and would have to be inserted by the reader. The writer offers no explanation or elaboration to support the reasons, and no attention to what might be persuasive to an audience. A minimal and weak closing merely reiterates the position (So that is why I oppose on the early curfew). Sentences are simple in structure. Choice of words is simple, yet a few words offer a fleeting glimpse of the person (play hoops...big time). Overall, this minimal response exhibits little evidence of an organizational plan, includes no transitions beyond so in the closing, and leaves the reader with little sense of wholeness or completeness. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 1. COS 1 Pasco School District Mid-Year Common Writing Assessment Grade 7 Scoring Papers, Page 2 of 22 Early Curfew # 3 Recently, your community officials have proposed that young people under the age of 15 cannot be out after 8:00 p.m. unless they are with an adult. Take a position on this proposal. Write a multiple-paragraph letter to the officials persuading them to support your position. Intro I think that people under the age of 15 should be able to stay out past 8:00 T,D p.m. Some people eat dinner at 9:00 p.m. so why not let us play untell then? D,E,T Or I play basketball at night. How ever would I get to play? With more time for me and everyone else to play we would be getting exercise. This response demonstrates an insufficient ability to persuade a reader. The response provides a basic position statement (I think that people under the age of 15 should be able to stay out past 8:00 p.m.) followed by a series of rhetorical questions, each representing an argument for the position. The first argument suggests an extension of time with a brief reason (Some people eat dinner at 9:00 p.m. so why not let us play untell then?). The second argument, prefaced by a simple and ineffective transition, contains a rhetorical question (Or I play basketball at night. How ever would I get to play?) This argument is followed by an additional statement of support, perhaps showing a hint of audience awareness (With more time for me and everyone else to play we would be getting more exercise), in that community officials likely care about young people getting exercise. Owing to the brevity of the writing, there is little opportunity to demonstrate sentence variety; word choice is extremely limited. The response also fails to provide a conclusion, leaving the reader with no sense of wholeness or completeness. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 1. COS 1 (high 1) Pasco School District Mid-Year Common Writing Assessment Grade 7 Scoring Papers, Page 3 of 22 Early Curfew # 4 Recently, your community officials have proposed that young people under the age of 15 cannot be out after 8:00 p.m. unless they are with an adult. Take a position on this proposal. Write a multiple-paragraph letter to the officials persuading them to support your position. Dear, City Official’s Intro I believe that an 8:00pm cerfew is way to much for children under 15 years of age. Children under the age of 15 should be able to stay out past 8:00pm. T/D Because, if parents let their child out past that time they must believe that E,E their child is responsible enough, it should be all up to the parent. What if movie theater sales go down because, they have less children goin to see T movies with their friends, that goes for other businesses. I just think this D will cause kids to rebel, because they are going to be kept on such a tight Concl leash. Thank you, I hope you will concider what I’ve said Sincerely, This response demonstrates a weak ability to persuade a reader. The opening is minimal, offering a position statement (I believe that an 8:00 pm cerfew is way to much for children under 15 years of age) before immediately moving to the first argument (Because, if parents let their child out past that time they must believe that their child is responsible enough), which is followed by minimal elaboration (...it should be all up to the parent). The next argument uses the persuasive technique of a hypothetical question about unintended consequences (What if movie theater sales go down), and elaborates using a list of two additional statements (...because, they have less children goin to see movies with their friends, that goes for other businesses). A third argument, perhaps designed to scare the audience, (I just think this will cause kids to rebel) is accompanied by only one weak supporting statement (...because they are going to be kept on such a tight leash). The arguments show some sense of audience and, therefore, the writer, in that they focus on the interests of the community officials and parents, rather than on the desires of the young people. Word choice is limited with an occasional specific word or phrase (way to much; rebel; tight leash); sentence variety is limited by the brevity of the response. A minimal closing (Thank you, I hope you will concider what I’ve said), and the limited organizational plan make this piece of writing seem like a draft, lacking a sense of wholeness or completeness. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 2. COS 2 (low 2) Pasco School District Mid-Year Common Writing Assessment Grade 7 Scoring Papers, Page 4 of 22 Early Curfew Recently, your community officials have proposed that young people under the # 5 age of 15 cannot be out after 8:00 p.m. unless they are with an adult. Take a position on this proposal. Write a multiple-paragraph letter to the officials persuading them to support your position. Intro Dear community officials, I think it is a good idea to make an 8:00 p.m. curfew for people under the age of 15. I think it is good for 3 good reasons. I will share them in 3 paragraphs. T,D First, you could get hurt. Nobody can see you when they are driving. E,E And you could get hit.