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FINANCE DIRECTOR MIKE COSTELLO leveringmill.org Krista Brackin Photography 610-664-9107 4 MARCH 26, 2020 MAZEL TOV! JEWISHEXPONENT.COM Adventures in Lesser-Known Milestones: The Upsherin . 6 The Ring’s the Thing: Do’s and Don’ts of Engagement Rings . 10 In this Torah and TikTok: Not Your Dad’s Bar Mitzvah . 13 Destination Pesach: There Will be Food . 16 i u e Longtime Couples Share Secrets of Sustaining Love . 22 NOTE TO THE READER is issue of Mazel Tov! was reported and written before the full implications of the COVID-19 crisis were clear. As we go to press, it seems that it will be at least one week, and most likely more, before people are gathering to celebrate life-cyle events again. Still, we present this content as a fond look back at better times -- and as hopeful inspiration for more such joyous occasions in the future. Elevating Floral Design 346 W Lancaster Ave, Haverford, PA 19041 484.422.8553 www.argylefloralhomegarden.com JEWISHEXPONENT.COM MAZEL TOV! MARCH 26, 2020 5 Adventures in Lesser-Known Milestones: The UpsherinJESSE BERNSTEIN | JE STAFF Zalmy Sputz, son of Rabbi Hirshi Sputz and Shevy Sputz, just as his upsherin begins Courtesy of Rabbi Hirshi Sputz 6 MARCH 26, 2020 MAZEL TOV! JEWISHEXPONENT.COM f you’re keeping score on your Jewish milestone celebra- In honor of a male child’s graduation from infanthood to tions bingo card at home, there are a few squares you’ve childhood and their newfound intellectual abilities, Rabbi Mendy probably lled a few times over. Cohen of Chabad of the Main Line explained, friends, family and Weddings! Bar and bat mitzvot! Funerals! Brit milot! Brit milot community members come and snip o most of the boy’s hair, mightI even count as the free square in the center for men, though until all that remain are the peyot. e boy will say a few words of that will have to be adjudicated another time. Torah, deposit some coins into a tzedakah box and be treated to ere are a few squares o in those far- ung corners that are a a celebration a er the haircut. He’ll also wear tzitzit and a kippah little harder to come by. Been to a pidyon haben recently? Hmm? for the rst time. Anyone’s second bar or bat mitzvah, celebrated at the age of 83? ough the boy’s induction into wearing the “uniform,” so No? to speak, is part of the reason for ceremony, it’s also meant to What about an upsherin? symbolize the beginning of their genuine education in the faith: “It’s a great custom, it’s very exciting for the kids, for the family,” the age of chinuch (literally, education). Now that they’re able to said Rabbi Hirshi Sputz, who runs Chabad of Fairmount with his grasp full sentences and simple ideas, it’s time to look the part of a wife, Shevy Sputz. Jewish male undertaking his education, too. An upsherin (alternately spelled upsheren, opsherin or (As a quick aside: though there is not a similar ceremony for upshernish) is a ritual rst haircut for boys upon the occasion of girls at the age of 3, they, too, mark their entrance into the age of their third birthday. e word itself, according to Chabad.org, is chinuch, Sputz said. is will o en consist of their beginning to a conglomerate of the German word “sheren,” which means shear, bless the Shabbat candles on Friday night.) and “Auf,” which means o . is practice is traditionally under- A er those basic mechanics, many of the practices related to taken within certain Orthodox Ashkenazi communities, though upsherin will change from community to community, even family some Orthodox Sephardi communities celebrate a very similar to family. ceremony called chalakah (sometimes spelled halaqa). “ at’s part of the beauty of customs,” said Rabbi Yehoshua ough there are many individual community variants — Yeamans of B’nai Israel Ohev Zedek. In Yeamans’ wife’s family, some Ashkenazi communities perform the upsherin at age 2, and for example, it has become tradition to donate the hair to various some Sephardi communities wait until 5 — the fundamentals are wig-making entities, a wide-spread practice. basically the same. For some families, the cutting of the rst lock of hair is an See Upsherin, Page 8 Exquisite Ballrooms First-Class Onsite Amenities Photo Credit (Clockwise from the Left): Philip Gabriel Photography, Maura B. McConnell Photography Photography, Versano Indoor and Outdoor Ceremony Sites Award-Winning Culinary and Event Staff 400 W. SPROUL RD., SPRINGFIELD, PA 19064 | 610.690.7600 | SPRINGFIELDCC.NET | JEWISHEXPONENT.COM MAZEL TOV! MARCH 26, 2020 7 UpsheriContinued from Page 7 honor reserved for a rabbi or a Kohen on hand. Whether the hair is saved as some sort of testimonial changes from family to family, too. ere’s also the question of when exactly the ceremony should take place. For some families, according to Cohen, having the upsherin on the exact date of the third birthday (on the Hebrew calen- dar, of course) is an important factor; for others, it just needs to be in the general vicinity of the date itself. If you’re a close reader of the Jewish holiday calendar, you already know where that leads. What if a boy’s third birthday falls during the counting of the Omer, when haircuts are forbidden? Like any Jewish person, they have to wait until Lag B’Omer to get their haircut. For Jewish boys celebrating their upsherin in Israel, however, families will endeavor to perform the ceremony at the graveside of a tzaddik, a holy person; in particular, the grave of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, also Elya Cohen, son of Rabbi Mendy Cohen and Temma Cohen, just before his upsherin Photo by Sarah R. Bloom 8 MARCH 26, 2020 MAZEL TOV! JEWISHEXPONENT.COM known as Rashbi, is a popular site. e reason for such a speci c site goes back to the oldest known example of the upsherin, a practice that has no real basis in the Torah. A student of Rabbi Isaac Luria, the 16th century mystic who is o en considered the father of contemporary Kabbalah, wrote that he witnessed his “ It ’s grea custo, teacher perform his son’s rst haircut at the age of 3 at the gravesite. Even then, the student referred to what he saw, and what would come to be known as the upsherin, as a well-known tradition. e true source it ’s very exciting of the practice remains lost to history. e Jewish Exponent does not have any breaking news about the origins of the upsherin, unfortunately (send tips fo kids, to [email protected]). But the joy of the ceremony (and the ever- increasing scale of the accompanying party, according to the rabbis interviewed) isn’t to be missed.