Biting the Hand 6/12/01 Jessica M. Mulligan Page 1 Biting the Hand: A Compilation of the Columns to Date Copyright 1999 by Jessica M. Mulligan Table of Contents 1 YEAR 1999 COLUMNS ...................................................................................................2 1.1 WELCOME TO MY WORLD; NOW BITE ME....................................................................2 1.2 NASTY, INCONVENIENT QUESTIONS, PART DEUX...........................................................5 1.3 PRESSING THE FLESH II: THE INTERACTIVE SEQUEL.......................................................8 1.4 MORE BUGS: A CASUALTY OF THE XMAS RUSH?.........................................................10 1.5 IN THE BIZ..................................................................................................................13 1.6 JACK AND THE BEANCOUNTER....................................................................................15 1.7 COLOR ME BONEHEADED ............................................................................................19 1.8 AH, SWEET MYSTERY OF LIFE ................................................................................22 1.9 THE CONFERENCE FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE COMPUTER GAME DEVELOPER’S CONFERENCE .........................................................................................................................24 1.10 THIS FRAGGED CORPSE BROUGHT TO YOU BY ...........................................................27 1.11 OH, NO! I FORGOT TO HAVE CHILDREN!....................................................................29 1.12 CATCHING UP ON EMAIL ............................................................................................31 1.13 GOD SUED! .............................................................................................................34 1.14 PAYING FOR THE WRONG SINS AND OTHER ODD THOUGHTS ........................................35 1.15 NO MODEM MUTANTS HERE, PAL ..............................................................................37 1.16 MASSIVELY MULTIPLAYER GAMES WE’D LIKE TO SEE ................................................39 1.17 GAMES WE MIGHT (SHUDDER) SEE ............................................................................41 1.18 UNSUNG HEROES........................................................................................................43 1.19 BANDWIDTH SHALL NOT SAVE YOU ...........................................................................46 1.20 HISTORY S REVENGE..................................................................................................49 1.21 ODD BITS AND PIECES ................................................................................................51 1.22 PERSISTENTLY SILLY ..................................................................................................53 1.23 OH, NO, NOT CONVERGENCE AGAIN! .........................................................................54 1.24 TWO MIND-BENDING EMAILS .....................................................................................56 1.25 THE COUNT IS IN, AND MORE READER MAIL...............................................................59 1.26 TALK ABOUT DREAMING ............................................................................................62 1.27 SNIPPETS AND RUMORS ..............................................................................................64 1.28 THE WORLD’S (COOLEST/MOST EXCITING/EAGERLY AWAITED) (COLUMN/ARTICLE/RANT).....................................................................................................66 1.29 THE REAL ONLINE GAME MARKETS............................................................................68 1.30 THE REAL ONLINE GAME MARKETS, PART II ..............................................................70 1.31 THE MARCHING MORONS, PART DEUX .......................................................................73 1.32 THE FUTURE: SHOOTING THE MOON ...........................................................................75 1.33 SO THIS IS BROADBAND?............................................................................................78 1.34 SO THIS IS BROADBAND? PART II................................................................................80 Copyright 2000 by Jessica Mulligan. All right reserved. Biting the Hand 6/12/01 Jessica M. Mulligan Page 2 TH 1.35 HAPPY 30 BIRTHDAY, ONLINE GAMES......................................................................82 TH 1.36 HAPPY 30 BIRTHDAY, ONLINE GAMES, PART II ........................................................86 TH 1.37 HAPPY 30 BIRTHDAY, ONLINE GAMES, PART III.......................................................89 1.38 GENERAL STUFF.........................................................................................................93 1.39 RAMBLIN’ ON .........................................................................................................94 1.40 BREAKING TRADITION ................................................................................................96 1.41 I FEAR, I FEAR!..........................................................................................................98 1.42 INVISIBILITY COMES WITH A PRICE .......................................................................... 102 1.43 GADZOOKS! ............................................................................................................. 104 1.44 IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR .................................................... 106 1 Year 1999 Columns A note on column numbering: Due to the sporadic nature of BTH up to this point and the arcane method I had of adding and updating columns and comments, we started renumbering the columns on Happy Puppy from Volume Eight, Issue 1. 1.1 Welcome To My World; Now Bite Me Volume Eight, Issue 1 February 1, 1999 Welcome to a whole new volume of Biting The Hand, the column that answers the question, "How do you kill a successful career with just a few well-chosen words?" As you may have guessed from the title, this is my attempt to provide an irreverent, pointed and sometimes vitriolic look at the online and computer game industries. This marks a new beginning of sorts; beginning with this issue, the column now appears exclusively on Attitude Network’s Happy Puppy Web site. Sure, the pay sucks and I have to keep to weekly deadlines now, something that is anathema to the creative spirit (Translation: writers are lazy and editors have no choice but to impose deadlines. Writers who wish to eat on a regular basis honor those deadlines, bitch though they must about them). But the people at HP and Attitude are great and share my need not to be afraid to call a spade a spade, and to ask the tough questions about an industry we all love. Those new to this column, especially the legions of Happy Puppy members, may wonder just exactly where I’m coming from and why I feel qualified to jump all over the industry like a pit bull on raw steak. Let me quote from the introduction of the first BTH, written nearly two years ago: Why name a column Biting The Hand, as in "biting the hand that feeds you?" Why write such a column at all? Copyright 2000 by Jessica Mulligan. All right reserved. Biting the Hand 6/12/01 Jessica M. Mulligan Page 3 I m a cantankerous sort; if I see something that needs correcting, is in the process of being covered up or being allowed to die from neglect, I speak up. Interestingly, doing that has a way of creating trouble for me. In the words of John Taylor, President of Kesmai/Aries Corporation, who was an uninvolved observer to such an incident on GEnie a few years back, "Mulligan, you told that ’truth stuff’ again; are you surprised you’re in trouble?" Insiders aren’t writing much about the real problems of the Internet/Online games industry and, if we’re going to solve those problems in a timely, sane manner, they need to be discussed openly. Ask anyone who knows me; I’ve no fear of doing that. I always seem to be dunking myself in hot water with the naive notion that company executives want to hear the unvarnished version of what’s happening. You’d think experience would teach me to keep my head down. As the old Croat proverb says, "Tell the truth, then depart quickly." So, no doubt, some will consider the frank talk in these writings as biting the hand of the industry that has fed me for the past twelve years. It has been my sheer luck and privilege to be on the forefront of new developments in online and computer gaming and to help make them happen, starting at GEnie in 1986, then AOL, then GEnie again, Interplay and Engage Games Online. Now I’m an independent consultant, giving game and entertainment companies advice on how to make a profit in the business, and being paid pretty well for the honor of having my advice ignored nine times out of ten. There is lots more I can talk about these days, now that I don’t have to worry about being fired for my impertinence. Of course, the phone may stop ringing and contracts may stop coming... But I love this industry; after playing my first online game in 1986 (Stellar Warrior from Kesmai, for the trivia minded in the audience), I dumped a successful acting career overnight and never looked back. I want the whole industry to thrive and grow, so we all have more compelling, interesting, just plain cool online games to play. It’s worth the risk of losing a few contracts to help make that happen. And that’s just what I’ve done for the last two years. No doubt I’ve