<p> The Proxy Song (to the tune of the Vatican Rag)</p><p>In the last couple of years there have been many questions about Council attendance, proxies, losing your seat. Does it still count as an absence if I send a proxy? (Yes.) Why should I send a proxy then? (Because you should. … It allows your Constituency to get its full representation on Council.) What if I’m a Senator? (Senators can’t send proxies.) Or a BoG rep? (No.) Why do I lose my seat if I miss five meetings? (Bylaws says so.) Any meetings? (No, just regular meetings during the School Year.) What counts as the School Year? (September-November and January-March.) What’s a regular meeting? (Good question.)</p><p>Lots of questions – and answers. How will you remember it all? Well, I thought the best way might be by way of a song.</p><p>Some of you may have heard my acronym song, based on a song by the American satirical folksinger Tom Lehrer. This time I’ve shamelessly stolen another one of his tunes, The Vatican Rag, to explain proxies. I call it The Proxy Song. Here goes. </p><p>The Proxy Song</p><p>Now you get upon the Board [Council photo] And you think you’ve really scored – But there’s forms and rules to follow, Maybe more than you can swallow … [something trying to swallow something big]</p><p>Find your seat and then your clicker [an electronic clicker?] Join debate but do not dicker Speak up clear but do not laugh Or you may feel the Speaker’s wrath … [someone hitting gavel]</p><p>Quick to vote or move and second [someone moving a motion?] Wait until the vote is reckoned … Two, four, six, eight – time for you to legislate.</p><p>Then what if you cannot make it? [pic of someone vacationing on the Riviera?] Send a proxy who will fake it [someone looking uncertain] They will vote instead of you Following, you hope, your cue.</p><p>But if you miss as much as five [5] Then I’m sorry we’ll deprive You – of – your – seat [We regret to inform] That’s the rule, you cannot cheat.</p><p>Though it’s true that this same rule Only functions while there’s school [classroom?] You can miss the month of May And live to vote another day. But if you miss in September [calendar?] Or in March and then November Once – you – miss - five, [5] You on Council cannot thrive.</p><p>So you have a four-miss limit [4] Up to four and you’re still in it Send a proxy for all four We’ll be adding up the score. [someone adding numbers]</p><p>But the proxy’s just for goodness [gold star] And when it’s more than four, my goodness, You – will – have – to Go away, do not be blue. [someone sad]</p><p>You can miss a month in May [calendar] And live to vote another day</p><p>But if you miss five [5] [to the tune of Ava Maria] While school’s alive [classroom] You will be out of it There is no doubt of it That is the way it is done. [someone being thrown out]</p><p>So that’s your proxy song, and if it’s still not clear, I’ve devised a board game for you:</p><p>Game of Council</p><p>Well, don’t worry. It’s not as cutthroat as Game of Thrones. It’s more like Monopoly.</p><p>I see we have four players today, and the idea is to start at the first Council meeting and by rolling the dice advance from the First Council meeting of the School Year to the Final One. The first person there wins. Ready? Okay, let’s go.</p><p>Blue rolls first and gets a 2. [click second time] Oh, sorry, Blue. You lose a turn.</p><p>Now, Red. Red rolls a 6. Good one, Red. And what did you land on? Aha, you get an extra turn. [And so on, until Red rolls a three, catches an error in the minutes, advances three spaces.] And this means, yes, Red has made it to the final meeting of the year.</p><p>And Red is the Winner. Congratulations, Team Red.</p>