<p> PHELAN AND THE BIRDMAN</p><p>Hail L.A. Croix! Lakeland is my school and my house; the days Of my tenure have been filled with joy. But, now, YYYYYYY's Maniacal smile has like the Cheshire Cat's descended into Room 403. The once peaceful Garden of Green Gladness has devolved into a Birdman's cage filled with the mental and emotional equivalent of excrement. *** What can be done, oh Lords of the naturally essenced sparkling water, LA CROIX? Though I have toiled in earnest on exquisite ear -candies , though I have used my modest means to open young minds and hearts, though I have scrambled, surfing over Earth-Waves to return humming the tune of nature's peace... I may have met my match in the avian grin of this mad teen! Nay! Never! I call upon you, LA CROIX, elixir of divine concentrate, Bathe my soul in your Pamplemousse glory. Energize and Encircle me with your effervescence! Give me the patience, The poise, the persistence, to make peace with the perched demogorgon who haunts my waking hours and terrorizes my night-stories! Oh, but as if his smile were plastered across the sky, blotting out the life-giving rays of sun, as if his tweets, twitters, and chirps carried endlessly on the Earth-Breath, how I have been maddened by the Bird Boy's bothersome Being. No more, I pray, will I be a slave to that smug smirk on his beak. I renounce my earlier notions of peace. No peace can be had with such a beast: I banish him to stoke the dumpster-fire with the other vultures of his kind: Good riddance, to "The Rock" with you, before your infection has spread. Our class will be better off without your feathery head.</p><p>YELLOW HIGHLIGHT = Alliterations UNDERLINE = past accomplishments BOLD, UNDERLINED, ITALICIZED = future accomplishment BOLD = four accented beats ITALICIZED= Kennings ***= caesura TURQUOISE = alliteration </p>