<p> CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS DIALOGUE MASTERY</p><p>1. GETTING UNSTUCK: What lies at the heart of your concern? Is it about an issue (content), a repeated pattern or relationship? Think about it until you can express your concern in one or two sentences?</p><p>My Concern</p><p>______</p><p>2. START WITH HEART: Work on me first. Consider your behavior toward this person around this issue. Have you been in silence? Violence? What have you been acting like you really want?</p><p>______</p><p>3. FOCUS ON WHAT YOU REALLY WANT: What do you really want from this conversation? What do you really want for you? For the other person? For the relationship? Be sure to watch/listen for Sucker’s Choices.</p><p>______</p><p>4. MASTER MY STORIES: Think about how you feel toward this person or about this issue when it’s really getting to you. You must be 100% honest with yourself. Write how you really feel about this issue. What is the story you tell yourself when you are really bugged? What is the problem? Why is it happening?</p><p>______</p><p>5. SEPARATE FACTS FROM THE STORY: What are the facts that support this story? What facts are you neglecting that might contradict your story? </p><p>______</p><p>6. WATCH FOR THREE CLEVER STORIES: Do you see signs of Victim, Villain or Helpless stories? What are they?</p><p>______CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS DIALOGUE MASTERY</p><p>7. TELL THE REST OF THE STORY: Are you pretending not to notice your role? Why would a reasonable, rational and decent person do what the other person’s doing? What is the right thing for you to do to move toward what you want? </p><p>______</p><p>How does the rest of the story change the message you want to share? What are your feelings about the message? Revise the message if needed.</p><p>______</p><p>8. STATE MY PATH: What facts do you have that encourage you to tell the story you are telling? How can you ask for the others’ path and talk tentatively, while encouraging testing?</p><p>______</p><p>9. MOVE TO ACTION: What do you need to do to bring this conversation to conclusion in a way that provides for safety, mutual purpose and mutual respect? </p><p>______</p><p>When will you plan to hold this crucial conversation? Where? What else do you need to do as you prepare? What will be the benefits to you, to the relationship once this conversation is held? What can you do to keep your promise to yourself to hold this conversation?</p><p>______</p><p>Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R. & Switzler, A. (2002). Crucial Conversations. (New York: McGraw- Hill, 2000)</p>