<p> 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens Habits 1, 2 & 3 Review</p><p>Habit 1: Be Proactive “People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln</p><p>“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” Mark Twain</p><p>Habit 1, being proactive, being responsible for yourself, is the basis for all the other habits. Until you can control yourself, you can’t grow.</p><p>You choose whether to be proactive or reactive</p><p>Proactive people: 1. make choices based on values 2. think before they act 3. plan ahead 4. take responsibility for their lives 5. make things happen, get things done 6. are not easily offended 7. bounce back when something bad happens 8. focus on things they can control and don’t worry about things they can’t 9. know that they can only control their own response 10. know that they have to speak up about abuse 11. know they have the power to rise above their circumstances (they can be a change agent) 12. have a can-do attitude 13. are pleasantly persistent 14. know how to just push pause</p><p>Reactive people: 1. make choices based on impulse (or feelings) 2. if life shakes them up, they explode 3. blame others or their own circumstances 4. are in the passenger seat of their own life 5. whine and complain about things 6. react instead of think: tell others off, hit, cry, get depressed, confront, spread rumors, try to find others’ weaknesses, quit jobs or relationships, give up 7. are easily offended 8. worry about things they can’t control 9. quit or give up 10. wait for things to happen to them 11. keep secrets 12. get angry and say or do things they later regret 13. say “I can’t” 14. feel like they are victims</p><p>Pages 50-51, 63 – know the differences between proactive and reactive / can-do and no-can-do</p><p>Circle of Control: you can only control yourself and your attitude. Page 55 – know what we cannot control</p><p>Page 62 – be able to explain the poem Human power tools: Self-awareness: being able to look at yourself and your actions</p><p>Conscience: inner voice that helps you determine right from wrong</p><p>Imagination: being able to see possibilities</p><p>Willpower: the power to choose</p><p>Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind Decide what you want to do with your life – we all only get one Decide what your values are Set goals</p><p>You are or soon will be at several crossroads and the path you take will affect your future.</p><p>If you don’t decide your own future, someone else will.</p><p>Teenagehood is only 7 years, but those 7 years shape the next 60 or so years.</p><p>On “going with the flow”: the road to anywhere is really a life to nowhere.</p><p>Crossroads / Decisions: 1. Friends a. Who you hang out with can influence your choices b. Think about gangs before you have to c. Some people can have a negative influence on your life if you let them d. Friendships can change over time e. It is hard to make friends in a new situation f. Think about drugs, alcohol, smoking before you have to. It only takes one time to become addicted or be arrested. g. If someone dares you to….do you need to accept that dare? 2. Boyfriend/Girlfriend a. Who will you date b. When will you date c. Where will you date d. Make a decision about sex before you have to. It only takes one time to get a disease or get pregnant. e. If someone wants you to prove your love, press pause, do you need to PROVE anything? f. Think about the qualities you want a future spouse to have now. Measure your dates against those qualities. g. Think about how a relationship works with your plan for your life 3. School a. What are you good at / how do you want to make a living? b. Do you want a job or a career c. What type of education do you need for your job/career d. How will you afford school e. Where will you do to school f. Where will you live while at school g. What is your school’s placement rate h. Will your chosen job/career afford you the life you want 4. Family & Community a. What kind of relationship do you want with your family b. How will you balance your family and your spouse’s family c. What type of community do you want to live in d. How will you give back to your community</p><p>Personal mission statement – we didn’t do this, but you should know what it is (pg. 81-91)</p><p>Career survey – know your top three areas and know at least one specific job in each area. Know an average salary and know the job growth of each job.</p><p>Three things to watch out for when beginning with the end in mind: 1. Labels a. Pre-judging someone, don’t label others b. You are NOT a label c. If you believe a label, you will become that label 2. It’s all over a. If you make a mistake, deal with it and move on b. Everyone makes mistakes c. It is never over unless you give up 3. Wrong wall a. Don’t lose sight of your values and goals b. Don’t let “climbing the ladder of success” become your goal c. Ask yourself if the life you are living is leading you in the right direction</p><p>Set goals: Count the cost: set your goals and realize the sacrifice you will have to make to make them come true. Start small and increase as you are successful.</p><p>Write your goals down – a goal not written down is only a wish. Only 3% of adults have written goals.</p><p>Do it – live your goals. “Do or do not, there is no try.” Yoda</p><p>Use momentous moments – see list on pg. 97, setbacks can serve as the springboard to change. </p><p>Rope up – get friends or family to help hold you accountable for your goals. </p><p>Turn weaknesses into strengths. “Good timber does not grow with ease. The stronger the wind, the stronger the trees.” Douglas Malloch</p><p>Carpe Diem – Seize the day</p><p>Habit 3: Put First Things First Prioritize and manage your time Overcome your fears Will power – the strength to say yes to your most important things Won’t power – the strength to say no to less important things and to peer pressure</p><p>Time Quadrants, pg. 107, can help you pack more into your life (or manage what you are already doing)</p><p>Quadrant 1: The Procrastinator Things that are urgent and important There will always be some Q1 things to deal with: sick child, relatives popping in without notice, that bill you forgot to pay Addicted to urgency – won’t work until there is an immediate deadline Thrives under pressure If you spend too much time in Q1, you will be stressed, prone to burnout, and have mediocre performance Shrink time spent here by planning and not procrastinating</p><p>Quadrant 2: The Prioritizer Things that are important but not urgent Quadrant of Excellence Keeping up with the things you have to do, planning ahead If you spend time in Q2, you will feel like you have control, your life will be more balanced, and you’ll have higher performance</p><p>Quadrant 3: The Yes-Man Things that are urgent but not important Trying to please other people Can’t say no and end up disappointing others and yourself No backbone If you spend too much time in Q3, you will feel like a doormat, you will have a reputation as a push over and you will lack discipline Shrink your time spent here by learning to say no</p><p>Quadrant 4: the Slacker Things that are not urgent nor important Category of waste and excess Does everything in excess: relax, sleep, watch tv, play games, talk on the phone If you spend too much time in Q4, you will lack responsibility, feel guilty, and be seen as flaky Shrink your time spent here by being aware of your goals and commitments and purposely using your time.</p><p>Plan weekly – daily is too narrow and monthly is too broad Big rocks – important things for that week Block out time for your big rocks Schedule your smaller tasks</p><p>2nd part of Habit 3: overcome fear Fear is a sick emotion Overcoming fear puts us in the courage zone</p><p>Failure:  Babe Ruth struck out 1,330 times  Einstein didn’t talk until he was 4  Beethoven’s music teacher said he was hopeless  Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team  Abraham Lincoln: failed in business twice, suffered a nervous breakdown, was defeated for public office 3 times, was defeated for the VP of the US</p><p>Be strong in hard moments: small ones like getting a bad grade and larger ones like your parent’s divorce</p><p>Overcome negative peer pressure – remember your path and goals</p><p>Try to find positive peer pressure – friends who will encourage you to meet your goals; friends who will be happy for you when you achieve something </p>