<p>Civility Suits Me By Richard H Madow, DDS</p><p>The dental office is a crazy place. It is at times a fun place, a stressful place, a sad place, an exciting place, a boring place, a frustrating place, and even an exhilarating place. Such is the reality and challenge of modern-day dentistry. While we always want our offices to be fun and exciting, the nature of our profession will not allow that on a permanent basis.</p><p>But one thing the dental office should NEVER be is a nasty place. Despite that, our lairs tend to experience from time to time, petty arguments, backstabbing, cliques, and generalized uncivil behaviour. And that’s just from the hygienist!! (Just kidding, all of you R.D.H.s! For some reason, hygienists are easy targets to be the brunt of every dental primadonna and PMS story. Well, maybe there are some good reasons for it ….okay – you’re the exception!)</p><p>But just as it should be with our homes, our offices should be places where everyone – doctor, staff, and patients – feel safe, comfortable, and wanted. After all, we possibly spend more time with our dental families than with our real families. Come to think of it, some of us spend more time with The Osbornes than with our real families! A scary thought, but true nonetheless. It has often been observed that we save our worst behaviour for the ones we love. This is totally true and completely unfair! Well, the same can be said of those with whom we work. Behaviour that we would never dream of exhibiting round strangers or new acquaintances can come out all too often with our families or workmates. Why? Hey – none of your business you jerk! Whoops – just kidding.</p><p>A book has come out recently to much acclaim called Choosing Civility, by P.M. Forni. Professor Forni teaches Italian literature at Johns Hopkins University in beautiful yet slightly uncivilised Baltimore, Maryland, where he is also co-founder of the Johns Hopkins Civility Project. In this book, the good Professor discusses the role and purpose of civility in modern life, and then goes on to lay our the “Twenty-Five Rules Of Considerate Conduct,” outlining simple yet useful rules for putting civility back into your life, and hopefully those around you as well. (Maybe the rules will not put civility back into your life, but simply put it there for the first time!!)</p><p>In the introductory chapter of the book, Professor Forni had a long, intentionally run- on paragraph that demonstrated some simple yet powerful examples of civilised behaviour.</p><p>Saying “please” and “thank you;” lowering our voice whenever it may threaten or interfere with others’ tranquillity; raising funds for a neighbourhood renovation program; acknowledging a newcomer to the conversation; welcoming a new neighbour; listening to understand and help; respecting those different from us; responding with restraint to a challenge; properly disposing of a piece of trash left by someone else; properly disposing of dangerous industrial pollutants; acknowledging our mistakes; refusing to participate in malicious gossip; making a new pot of coffee for the office machine after drinking the last cup; signalling our turns when driving; yielding our seat on the bus whenever it seems appropriate; alerting the person sitting behind us on a plane when we are about to lower the back of the seat; standing close to the right side hand rail on an escalator; stopping to give directions to someone who is lost; stopping at read lights; disagreeing with poise; yielding with grace when losing an argument, these diverse behaviours are all imbued with a spirit of civility.</p><p>(From Choosing Civility – The Twenty-Five Rules Of Considerate Conduct by P.M Forni, St Martin’s Press)</p><p>In any case, reading this book reminded me of two things: 1) The dental office can be an extremely uncivilised place, and 2) Professor Forni should know that a fabulous book dealing with civility in the dental office and the workplace in general was published a few years ago!</p><p>Those of you who are long time readers of The Richards Report (yes – that’s you Mom and Dad!) of have been to a few Richards Report Super Fall Seminars probably know that the author I’m talking about is Dr. Paddi Lund. Paddi a self described “crazy Australian dentist,” is absolutely one of the most interesting guys our field has ever produced. His wacky life changing story is hilariously chronicled in the book “ Building the Happiness Centred Business,” which I’ve written about numerous times, proclaiming that it, along with “The Obvious Secret” by Earl Estep are books every dentist needs to own. (Those of you who have been reading this newsletter long enough also know that “Abbey Road” by The Beatles and “Blood On The Tracks” by Bob Dylan are two albums everyone needs to listen to, and that “Casablanca” and “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” are two movies everyone needs to watch, for very different reasons of course!</p><p>Anyway, a portion of this great book by Dr. Lund deals with what Paddi calls the “Courtesy System.” This is essentially a system that Paddi developed so that we may have a certain level of civility in our offices at all times. He has found that following just eight simple rules, when done sincerely, can transform a dental office into an absolutely wonderful place to be. And shy shouldn’t it be?</p><p>With kind permission from Fletcher Potanin at Solutions Press (an extremely civil and courteous chap himself) I’d like to review the eight “Performance Standards” of Dr. Paddi Lund’s Courtesy System. The commentary will be mine, and I’ll try to be as civil as possible, however unnatural that may be.</p><p>Performance Standard #1 Speak very politely using a person’s name – ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ as a minimum. A typical example would be a transaction between dental assistant and Doctor. So many doctors, using efficiency as an excuse, will ask for an instrument using just one work. (Example: Explorer!)</p><p>Try this method next time: “Therese, would you mind passing the explorer please?” “Certainly, Dr Madow” “Thank you” “You’re welcome,” or better yet, “My pleasure.” Does that sound crazy, or too stilted and time consuming? Well, I can tell you from experience, it’s not! And it’s not just for instrument passing; it’s for every transaction you have with another human being in your office (and your life!)</p><p>Patients will notice this, no question about it! Most will just subconsciously register that your office is a nice pleasant place where people are treated respectfully. Others will outright comment that this behaviour is atypical of a health care facility. And everybody, doctor included, will be just a little bit happier!</p><p>Performance Standard #2: When you talk about a person who is not present, speak as if they are listening to your conversation. Use the person’s name in each sentence in which you refer to them.</p><p>In other words, don’t say anything about another person that you wouldn’t say if they were right there listening. And instead of some pronoun like “that idiot,” use their real name.</p><p>Example – instead of: Dr Smith, Mrs Hoobastank called and cancelled two minutes before here appointment time – again!” “That inconsiderate slob! What does she think this is? The free clinic” “Lets get rid of that whole stupid Hoobastank family!”</p><p>Try this:</p><p>Dr Smith, unfortunately, Mrs Hoobastank just called to say that she couldn’t make her 3:00 appointment” “Mrs Hoobastank did the same thing last week. Maybe she doesn’t understand the value of keeping here appointments. If she has a schedule which makes it difficult for her, we can tell her about our ‘same day’ service. That may be a more convenient option for her family.”</p><p>It may sound crazy, but it actually takes a lot of hostility out of everyone. Try it!!</p><p>Performance Standard #3: If you have a problem with someone, talk about the problem with someone, talk about the problem only with them and in private.</p><p>Problems discussed in front of others cause embarrassment and resentment. Please, please, please don’t do it! And don’t make a show out of calling someone into your private office – that’s almost as bad. Be positive – and keep private things private.</p><p>Performance Standard #4 Apologise and make restitution if someone is upset by your actions. I’ve mentioned this many many times in The Richards Report. Sorry for the repetition. I sincerely apologise. Really I didn’t mean it personally. My mistake.</p><p>Some people think that apologising makes them appear weak, but actually, the opposite is true. From a human point of view, nothing will strengthen your relationship with another human being, be they your spouse, child, co-worker, patient, etc., than a good apology. And from business or negotiating point of view, nothing gives you the upper hand better than admitting you were wrong about something and saying you are sorry. (Paddi would never dream of mentioning apology in that vein, but being an American, I feel I can throw it in!)</p><p>I have severed relationships with several businesses (the car dealer where I was getting maintenance, e.g. the “hundred dollar oil change” comes to mind immediately) because they screwed up and refused to apologise.</p><p>So if a crown is not back from the lab in time, if you did something to upset an employee, or any million scenarios that happen every day – humanise yourself, admit a mistake, and apologise! It’s liberating.</p><p>Performance Standard #5: Greet and farewell everyone by name, with eye contact and a touch.</p><p>There is truly no better way to start the day than walking into the office, and making “rounds” by greeting each person individually. It makes everyone fel special and wanted, just as they deserve. As each person enters the office, it is great for them to do it too. The same should be done upon leaving for the day. Make sure that you use each person’s name – “Good Morning Harriet!” instead of just “Hi.”</p><p>As far as the touch, this needs to be in the comfort zone of each individual. For some it may be a pat on the shoulder or a “high five,” others love a full fledged hug. And for some individuals, eye contact alone is personal enough. Just make sure that no one is made uncomfortable by this greeting. As far as I’m concerned, this is the only way to start and end the day, and I don’t care how much Marshall makes fun of me – I’m not stopping!!</p><p>Performance Standard #6 Blame a system not a person. As Paddi explains, oftentimes when something goes wrong in the office, it turns into a “Witch Hunt,” looking for someone to blame. But if everything is properly systematised, there is no reason to blame an individual for a mess up – the system needs to be improved. Of course, everyone messes up from time to time, but that is natural and should not lead to the blame game.</p><p>So when you come in one morning and the instruments aren’t properly sterilised, don’t have a witch hunt – fix the system! (By the way, why is it necessary to use a sterile needle for lethal injections?)</p><p>Performance Standard #7 Tell the truth.</p><p>Could anything be more simple? I actually attended a “Practice Management” course where they suggested that if a patient hadn’t met their payment obligation for a crown when the insert appointment came around, you should tell that patient that the crown hadn’t come back from the lab yet! Can you imagine that? Teaching you how to lie! I was amazed. Besides the fact that it is wrong, how will your staff look at you knowing that you promote lying to patients?</p><p>It’s easy, simple, and foolproof – always tell the truth!</p><p>Performance Standard #8 Use positive conversation!</p><p>Avoid things such as “Murphy’s Law,” (Who was Murphy anyway?) “T.G.I.F.,” or anything else that demeans whatever you are doing. Stop and think for awhile about what we and others around us casually yet constantly throw into conversations. There is an incredible amount of negativity everywhere!</p><p>Gossiping, saying bad things about people, assuming the worst, phrases like “two more hours to go,” – these do nothing except make you feel bad about whatever is going on around you. Use positive conversation; it’s empowering!!</p><p>Well, there you have them – the eight “Performance Standards” of Dr Paddi Lund’s Courtesy System. At first glance this may seem trite and even silly, but that is the real beauty of the thing. The rules ARE simple. They are just common logic, human kindness, and a large touch of civility. And they work like crazy!!</p><p>I don’t think it would be too bold to suggest that if you abide by the standards of the Courtesy System, your office will be a much more pleasant place for all, your patients will notice the difference, and your production will even go up! Abide by them in your personal life, and watch the changes in your temperament, patience, and attitude. It’s really incredible. Of course I would like to thank Dr. Paddi Lund and Fletcher Potanin of Solutions Press (both of Brisbane, Australia) for their kind permission to write so freely about Paddi’s Courtesy System. This is just a touch of what you will find in Paddi’s fabulous book, Building the Happiness Centred Business. The sub-title of this book is a great description of the content:</p><p>“How you can find happiness in your business and reap all of the rewards that it brings, including increased profits, by following in the footsteps of a crazy dentist.”</p><p>If you would like to purchase this fantastic book, we have saved you the time and expense of having your copy shipped from Australia by becoming one of the North American distributors. Feel free to call us at 1-888-88-MADOW to get your beautifully packaged copy. (If you want that authentic Australian experience, you can call Solutions Press direct at 011-61-7-33903744. Just remember the time difference – if it is Tuesday at 4:45PM on the East Coast of the U.S., it is something like Friday 2:21AM in Brisbane!)</p><p>Paddi and Fletch have all kinds of interesting information about themselves and their business philosophy, as well as many interesting products to boost you happiness, on their website at www.solutionspress.com.au . (I love the “Courtesy System Plaques.”) Also, you can email Fletcher Potanin directly at [email protected] . He is extremely knowledgeable and passionate about the Happiness Centred philosophy of business, and a heck of a nice guy to boot!</p><p>So what do you think? Ready to make civility a major part of your practice and your life? I sure hope so!!</p>