<p>Reading</p><p>Finishing the Koran</p><p>When I was twelve years old, I came to was no such mark, you’d shorten a letter the end of the Koran, which I’d been ‘A, ‘I, ‘U. And if there was a mark learning to read and recite in the surau for looking like a backward brush, called a three years. tasjdid, the letter underneath the brush At the time I was learning how to read would be read double. and recite the Koran, I did not know that We had to be very careful and the sentences had any meaning at all. I cautious in reading the Koran, as if we only know that the Koran was in the were penetrating a road strewn with thorn Arabic language and had to be read by bushes. For, the teacher said, if we read singing it, so that the reader would store and recited it wrong (for instance, if up merit and later on would get into Islaaam was read Islam), we would have heaven. I did not know that if it were committed a great sin and would be translated into our own language we tormented in hell, whose fires were a would understand what God meant with thousand times as hot all of these verses. However, though I had as those on earth. Or, if the voice was completed the reading of the Koran seven supposed to come out the nose and if it times, God had not said a single thing that was supposed to be droned, but we read it I could understand, because it hadn’t been with our voice coming out of our mouth interpreted for me. (for instance, if we read ‘A as A), our The Koran must be read, recited, and chances of getting into heaven were slim sung, said the teachers. Each night for indeed. three years I wrestled with the manner in I was much relieved once I had which it was to be read: a line over A, a finished reading and reciting the whole line in front of U, a line under I; if there Koran to read the very last verse of it. Our was a sloping line half a centimeter long, joy overflowed. If their level of expertise you’d read it in lengthened form, with was about the same, students who had three letter A’s, AAA, III, UU; if there begun their studies at the same time </p><p>1 would finish up at about the same time and sundry stuff needed in the kitchen— too; if their expertise differed, though, the several chickens, several half kilos of difference in time would only be a couple pepper, several big parcels of salt, dozens of days. The ones who got there first of coconuts, lots of spices and seasonings would wait for all the others. —all in lavish quantities. If seven or five students had finished The news spread through the whole the recitation at the same time, their village that a recitation graduation parents would set to conferring about celebration was to be held, and everyone when, how, and how much they should wanted to come to listen to the spend to put on a big celebration for them. proceedings For the parents, it was a great joy and and to eat. Everyone could come to this source of pride that their son had finished celebration; you didn’t have to be studying the Holy Book. And those who specially invited. All this became the could afford it sometimes wouldn’t main topic of conversation for two or begrudge the outlay of much money, just three days beforehand. The theretofore so long as the celebration was crowded quiet village became extremely busy; this and was a veritable sensation for the villagers, fun and quite splendid. and it made them very happy. Our cohort consisted of five people. We kids who were about to be The decision was made at our parents’ graduated from our recitation lessons conference that they would all chip in chatted about the celebration cheerily, and together to buy a cow for the feast and about our clothes and the village they processions and about whether or not would make a big thing out of the whole we’d be panicky and quivering when celebration. folks heard our recitations and songs. For Our mothers and their relatives and the recitation teachers from some of the comrades all gathered in a house near the nearby villages (the ones with good surau to do everything that needed to be voices and great levels of expertise) were done, to shop at the market buying going to be invited. Half of us believed in various ourselves, half of us were dubious. The </p><p>2 only thing that made us anxious was our to be laid out on mats before us—since songs and our voices; we didn’t have we were the ones the celebration was for, anything to fear about our techniques for we’d doubtless get very special foods. reading the holy text because we’d been We woke up very early in the morning put through our practice and our mothers ordered us to take our drills for a long time now. But a voice and baths right away. This time it was with way of singing, well, that’s really a talent scented soap and special shampoo and given at birth. Most of us didn’t have lime rinses. particularly melodious voices, except for Father sacrificed the cow, although we one person, Djamin. He’d surely get some five weren’t allowed to accompany the public acclaim. other children who were out there having We kept busy chatting and practicing a good time helping folks cut up the meat as if there were no end to it, and the night into chunks. We had to get into our finery before the celebration we got almost no and stay calm and still as bridal couples sleep. Our hearts kept pounding away do. with Because the celebration was a alternating hope and apprehension— religious one and because Islam had would we succeed or would we fail originated in Arabia, we were all ordered tomorrow when we were heard by all to put on the national Arab dress: a long those hundreds of people? But alongside white sheath coming down to our ankles; all this we got over this a sadariah, or vest, in various considerable entertainment of our fine colors such as deep red, brown, and blue, clothes and new shoes that we’d wear with yellow silk lace along the edges. And tomorrow. Moreover, our hair had been over all this a long robe that came in five cut, too, and it looked quite smart; colors, of which we could pick the ones tomorrow we’d attract public attention for we liked most. Then we wore some sort sure. And then, too, there was all that of head covering—some wore white haji food and those rice delicacies that were pilgrim’s caps, some wrapped their heads going in turbans, some wore fez headgear like a Turk, and then there were others who </p><p>3 wore head-scarf robes made of gold “Who knows, maybe they really will thread like those the sons of Arabian get to Mecca later on,” shot back the kings wear. women who were getting us properly Our faces got powdered a bit so they outfitted. For them, going to Mecca was would look nicer and then we were the very pinnacle of aspirations one could sprinkled with perfume. It looked in the have in this world. mirror as if we’d all gotten better-looking! Because we were still ignorant, we The women who were helping adorn us thought that going on the pilgrimage was kept praising the fine way we looked, a realistic aspiration for us, too, and that saying: “Maaasja Allah! Maaasja Allah!” these women’s faith was entirely [The will of God]. appropriate. We spent two hours getting adorned, In the surau yard, old women were since these women were extremely boiling several cauldrons of rice and exacting and they wouldn’t allow cooking spiced meat stew in three big anything to be off the slightest little bit. frying pans. They were also preparing Clothes we’d already put on were stripped meat curry and jackfruit in three off again and we’d cauldrons, as well as a big earthenware put on something else, and that too would pot full of chicken curry for the invited be stripped off and then something else guests. Everyone was busily occupied; would be put on again, and it would go rattan mats were spread back and forth like this until they were out in the big surau, and for the honored totally satisfied. We just obeyed guests fine woven carpets had been laid everything, having no other way to refuse. out in the niche facing Mecca. These Meanwhile, lots of friends had special guests were to be the jury to arrived. Men and women villagers came, evaluate our old and young, all done up in fine clothes. recitation performance. They’d sneak a look at us first, and laugh Before ten o’clock we put on our new at us in a kindly way. They named us shoes and took a turn at walking to and “Honorable Haji or Syech.” fro in the house to see if any of us might possibly cut a dashing figure. After all the</p><p>4 women gained their satisfaction at see the whole ceremony but they were viewing this, we were told to go on down hindered in this by the curtain. The out of the house into the yard, for the hundreds of men sat down cross-legged in procession was soon to set off. front of us in rows, awaiting us with their We went down the stairs, with full attention, as we confronted this final everyone gazing at us and offering praise, test. most especially the old aunties who were Then my father stood up and delivered cooking away. a speech explaining the rationale for the “Oh my, you sure look fine! Seeing celebration. And once had had asked you helps heal my work-weariness,” they permission of the honorable syechs about said, fiercely pinching our cheeks. whether or not it was permissible to start, The procession was put in order. We and once the jury had answered with a were placed right out in front and friends nod, we were told to read the final verses who had graduated from their recitation from the Koran, alternating with one lessons before us sheltered us with another parasols. until we had come to the end. With Everyone—except those who had to cook apprehension and pounding hearts we set and receive guests back at the main surau to reading. With the first recitation, —went along with the procession. There luckily, there were no mistakes. The were hundreds of them, singing religious syechs, listening critically, nodded their songs, Arabic religious chants, and so on. heads, and when we saw them do this we As we passed by, everyone whose house grew bolder and we progressed through was along the side of the road came out to the test all the way through to the end. take a look at us from the window, The recitation, our voices, and our songs smiling. were fully satisfying. After an hour of marching around in The joy of the mothers and fathers of procession we went back to the surau. the five in our group was beyond telling. Meanwhile, the mothers pressed against Their eyes shone, radiating pride. Our each other in their room [their separate mothers and fathers were the truly happy room in the surau]. All of them wanted to </p><p>5 ones in that big crowd. Why, there were My tears flowed down my cheeks at even two mothers who had tears flowing this, at remembering my mother, and down their cheeks. before my eyes images of the wide long Then an incense burner with incense leaves planted near her graveside also scattered on top was brought out and set appeared. before the Honorable Syech Daud. He While we ate, the women looked on, himself read a prayer, while those in paying attention to our every move, attendance received his hand and chatting away animatedly. pronounced: Amin, Amin, Amin! Then, We felt very lucky. It was only the as a supplement, Djamin—the one with Arab clothes that we regretted a bit; that the best voice—was asked to read the was the only thing that dampened our Joseph chapter. While reading, he raised feelings of joy and good fortune. We his voice very high (and it made it quite weren’t allowed to get out of them until melodious), with the honorable syechs afternoon. We felt like actors in a stage saying in accompaniment: “Taib, taib, show! To wear our national costume Maaasja Allah!” would have made us truly joyful. And Then the foods were set out, with the those clothes wouldn’t have been any less most delicious ones for the honorable fine looking than the Arab syechs. We didn’t join in the meal since clothes. our food was all laid out at the minor But the adults were in charge! surau, located alongside the main surau. We By Muhamad Radjab, in Telling Lives, Telling History: Autobiography and Historical Imagination in Modern Indonesia, edited, translated and with an Introduction by were told to go back down and go outside Susan Rodgers. Berkeley, CA, University of California Press, 1995, pp. 186-190. Used with permission of the once again, since the mothers wanted to University of California Press. get another look at us. They acted as if they all loved us. An old auntie with a trembling voice said to me: “If your mother were still alive her happiness would just be beyond telling.”</p><p>6</p>