Introduction “There have been great societies that did not use the wheel, but there have been no societies that did not tell stories.” -Ursula Le Guin The essays that appear in this publication were selected by the English 100 Committee from submissions from English 100 students from the Spring and Fall 2020 semesters. The criteria used to evaluate and select these essays included content, originality, a sense of discovery and insight on the part of the student writer, control of form, language and sentence construction and representation of the various types of assignments students are engaged in while in this course. ENG 100, Introduction to College Writing, is a developmental composition course designed for students who show signs of needing additional work on their college-level writing before starting the regular general education composition classes. In this course, students learn about and refine their writing process with a strong focus on the act of revision, engage in critical reading, thinking and writing and write both personal and text-based essays. ENG 100 prepares students for the rigors of college-level writing and introduces them to college expectations. It is our hope that these student essays reflect the struggle and the joy, the hard work and the rewards that these students have experienced both in their lives and in the classroom. Furthermore, these essays reflect the diversity of our English 100 students and the uniqueness of this course. Our students are entering college straight out of high school and are returning to the classroom after years of work and family, come from urban and rural areas, and represent different races and cultures. And this work is truly their work -- the committee has not made any revisions or corrections to the essays. And as you read, we hope that you will discover the same things that the students have discovered: during their first semester in college they are discovering themselves, realizing that they are part of many communities and defining themselves as individuals, students, scholars and citizens. Dawn Terrick, Director of Developmental Writing (ENG 100) Missouri Western State University Department of Communication English 100 – Introduction to College Writing 2020-2021 Director of Design and Layout: Anna Handza ENG 100 Committee: Dawn Terrick, Director Brooksie Kluge Dana Andrews Amy Miller Stacia Bensyl Beth Reinert Susan Garrison Alyssa Striplin 2 Table of Contents INTRODUCTION 2 TABLE OF CONTENTS 3 LETTER FROM THE DIRECTOR 5 LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT 6 STUDENT AWARDS 7 MOMENTS IN TIME 8 MY CHILDHOOD HOME: MYA ALLISON 9 GROWING UP WITH A SINGLE PARENT: CRISTAL ALVAREZ 14 CRASH OF GUILT: JAMES BRUNSON 17 LOCATION, SCENE, SPOT, SITE, AND SETTING: MEGAN DAHLHAUSER 20 THE RAINIER CLUB: CARLO GAMINO 27 LIFE ON THE FARM AS A COUNTRY BOY: ANDREW HERNANDEZ 31 MY SPECIAL PLACE: FAY MADISON 35 GHOSTS AND RECOVERY: JESSICA HODGES 40 OVERCOMING THE GREATEST FEAR: STEVE HOTHAM 46 UNDER THE LIGHTS: BROOKLYNN LEAL 49 A JOURNEY OF ENDINGS AND BEGINNINGS: WESLEY LUETKEMEYER 53 THE JOPLIN TORNADO: HOW IT LEFT AN IMPACT: NATASHA MAYNARD 61 “HOW MY LIFE CHANGED”: ROMAN MYSCOFKSI 65 FLORIDA TRIP SUMMER TWENTY TWENTY: INTISAR NOUREIN 70 THEN & NOW: KENDRA OPOKU-BRENYAH 77 OUR PRISONS: DA'SHA ROUBIDEAUX 81 BECOMING A BETTER ME, WITHOUT YOU: TEAGHEN SCHRAUFEK-FORSHEE 86 THE CABIN: KAYLIE STAMS 91 MY DARK SCARY VOID OF DREAM: ALLOURA STEVENS 95 REMEMBERING MAMA: GRACE SZESNY 98 THE FAMILIAR UNKNOWN: ISAAC TWOMBLY 103 THE SURPRISE OF A LIFETIME: JILLIAN WITHROW 106 MY SMALL-TOWN HOME: RANDALL WOOD 110 INTERVIEW 116 GROWING UP IN A SMALL TOWN: CRISTAL ALVAREZ 117 ALCOHOLISM: SAM CERRA 120 A TRIP BACK HOME: KENDRA OPOKU-BRENYAH 124 3 THE FIRE: MARY FULTZ 128 THE JOPLIN TORNADO: MY MOTHER’S SIDE OF THINGS: NATASHA MAYNARD 132 HAIR STANDARDS IN AMERICA: INTISAR NOUREIN 135 SEXISM IN VIDEO GAMES: KAILEY ROADES 141 THE IMPACT OF A PARENT’S DIVORCE ON THE CHILD: TEAGHEN SCHRAUFEK-FORSHEE 145 LOVING A SOLDIER: ALLOURA STEVENS 150 IDENTITY 153 HEROES AND VILLAINS: MEGHEN DAHLHAUSER 154 UNTITLED: MORGAN HEASTAN 160 COMMUNICATION VS. EXCOMMUNICATION: JESSICA HODGES 164 OVERCOMING OBSTACLES: MADELINE KOCHENDERFER 170 DO WE REALLY KNOW OUR FAMILY LIKE WE THINK WE DO?: KATELYN KOEHLER 174 THE GOD’S EYE: NICOLE KRZYZANIAK 180 ABUSE: BROOKLYNN LEAL 185 MENTAL ILLNESS: THE REAL STORY: CADEN ROMER 190 FAMILIES AREN’T FOR EVERYONE: TEAGHEN SCHRAUFEK-FORSHEE 196 RESTRAINTS: ALLOURA STEVENS 200 THE DEVIL INSIDE: RANDALL WOOD 203 EDUCATION AND LITERACY 210 FIGHTING DEMONS: MEGAN DAHLHAUSER 211 WHY NOT ME?: CARLO GAMINO 217 LITERACY AUTOBIOGRAPHY: BLAKE GOFORTH 221 WORD VOMIT AND EDUCATIONAL PROGRESS: JESSICA HODGES 227 HARD WORK PAYS OFF: KATELYN KOEHLER 233 THE JOURNEY: NICOLE KRYZYANIAK 241 YOUR OWN PERSONAL FIGHT: BROOKLYNN LEAL 246 BEING EDUCATED GOT ME TO DREAM BIG: CIERRA PITTS 251 NEVER STOP LEARNING: RANDALL WOOD 258 4 Letter from the Director This edition of Discovering the Student, Discovering the Self, marks our 15th anniversary. And although I was hoping to mark this anniversary with much fanfare, our celebration will look different this year due to the ongoing pandemic. However, that does not mean we do not have a lot to celebrate. Because of the added challenges of last semester, I want to commend our students’ achievement by acknowledging their perseverance and courage to share their work and experiences with our audience. On August 18, 2020, students expected to be sitting in a classroom with their peers, hanging out in their dorms, and making new friends -- all unhindered. However, for many students, their reality was being distanced from their peers and instructors, wearing masks. For other students, their reality was sitting in their dorm room, in their pajamas, with their laptop, for their ENG 100 class. The change in physical space along with other obstacles made this semester unlike any other, even for someone like me who has been teaching at Western for 23 years. Like my students, I was nervous. It troubled me that my students were missing out on a wholly immersive college experience for the social aspect of college can be just as important as the academic aspect in many ways. For students, struggles were more pronounced and for some students insurmountable. But this publication is proof that students were able to persevere, to not only survive but thrive. I always tell my students that education should be uncomfortable. And it was this semester. But it was also beautiful and empowering. The resilience and perseverance I found in my ENG 100 students was inspiring. Every year, every edition of Discovering the Student, Discovering the Self is meaningful and is defined by certain events. This year, perhaps more than even before, students were forced to dig deeper, confront unique obstacles and reveal their strength to truly discover who they are. As I read the essays in this edition, I am reminded of so much of what students and I read in Tara Westover’s memoir Educated. Just like Educated, our ENG 100 students’ words and stories reveal both pain and joy, loss and empowerment, tragedy and victory as well as the cathartic nature of writing and reading. The ENG 100 Committee and I believe this publication represents hope in a time when many of us may feel hopeless and helpless. For those of you who made it through the semester and whose work is honored here, you provide hope to each other, to your instructors and to those students who did not make it last semester but who will return and find success. This is the power of the written word and of this year’s publication. Sincerely, Dawn Terrick 5 Letter from the President Dr. Elizabeth Kennedy Strength. Endurance. Resiliency. Grit. Grind. No other option; no looking back. Forward is farther, and further yet. The above represents my mantra which forms that slice of my identity as a runner. Not as an athlete, mind you, but as a runner. Self-deprecatingly, I tell anyone who asks why, that I run because it’s the only sport I’m coordinated enough to do. I’ve been running with such regularity over so many years that my relationship to this one sport is undeniably monogamous. Recently, however, I’ve taken a fall or two (admittedly, and with limited shame, due to tripping on my part), so not only do I now have to hedge a bit more on my level of physical coordination, but I also have had to come to terms with the fact that my healing time has put more space between my training days. Sigh. But, I can run. And for some reason known only to the running gods, I can run far. I’ve got the medals (aka, my prized bling) and the t-shirts to prove it. I’ve run 15 marathons, including the Boston Marathon twice, and have even won a marathon……wait for it….. in my age group and for which I was bestowed with a prize! (Seriously – a prize!) I’ve run dozens of other races, including multiple half marathons, 10 milers, 10ks, 5Ks. I’m so excited to have signed up for several local Saint Joseph races for the 2021 spring – summer season (COVID-19-safe of course) that I’m unrestrainedly giddy with anticipation; I just can’t wait to race. Be that as it may and regardless of the distance I might be training for, I am always careful to loop my mantra in as I log the miles. I pound the pavement to create cadence with the words. Strength. Endurance. Resiliency. Grit. Grind. No other option; no looking back. Forward is farther, and further yet. There are times in our lives, many times, when our ability to withstand that which we think we cannot, is tested, when what we are confronted with is, by all appearances, an unbreachable distance that we must somehow, someway, find a way to cross.