1 JUNO STEEL AND THE CASE OF THE MURDEROUS MASK (PART TWO V2) SOUND: DOOR OPENS. BELL RINGS. MUSIC: STARTS. CONCIERGE: Ah, good evening Traveler! Welcome to The Penumbra. May I take your coat? You’ve picked an excellent place to spend the night, dear Traveler. The Penumbra is the grandest hotel this side of nowhere. Countless rooms and countless halls. Just look ahead of you. See the doors go on and on… even we aren’t sure how many there are, or what lies behind them all. Will you be staying long? Many of our guests do. You’re in good company, Traveler. The Penumbra draws guests from everywhere and everywhen. And all of them have stories to tell. Stories that will excite you, delight you, and maybe even terrify you. Don’t believe me? Well, see for yourself. SOUND: KEYS JANGLING. A death threat from an ancient king, a death mask that tears its wearers to shreds, and a very strange special agent have made this case one of Detective Juno Steel’s most unpredictable yet.But then that’s what happens when you enter Casa Kanagawa: plot twists and cliffhangers abound, and the cameras are always rolling. Those cameras are keeping a close eye on Detective Steel and Agent Glass now. They say everyone gets 15 minutes of fame, but when you get them on one of Cecil Kanagawa’s game shows, those 15 minutes might just be the last of your life. SOUND: KNOCKING ON A DOOR. A CROWD ‘BOOING.’ What luck! Sounds like he’s in. Come, Traveler. Come with me into room J12. SOUND: DOOR CREAKING OPEN. Juno Steel and the Case of the Murderous Mask. MUSIC: ENDS. 2 Scene: 1 CECIL: That’s it… thaaaaaat’s it! Hold still just a moment longer, Junebug; you should never underestimate the value of the makeup department. JUNO: (COUGHING) The hell is this? Powdered cyanide? CECIL: Only mostly. When did you get so delicate, Juno? (LAUGHING) You next, Agent. Breathe deeply, please. We’ll be adding your pulse in post. JUNO (NARRATOR): A galaxy of bulbs hot as tiny suns surrounded us. In the distance: half-a-dozen Camera Men, their lenses flashing, their hulking, mutated chests heaving as they clung to a forest of torture racks and adamantium maidens and laser guillotines. From the look of it, though, the most dangerous thing in the room was the one I was tied to: the Throne of Spinning Blades, which was set to Spinning Blade us into a thousand tiny pieces. Just your typical wholesome family entertainment in Hyperion City. REX: (COUGHING) My, that is a potent blend, isn’t it? CECIL: It’s the very best on the market. And I should know, Agent: I invented it. JUNO: This isn’t gonna work out well for you, Cecil-- SOUND: WHIRRING MOTOR NOISE. The hell is that? CECIL: Lip stain, Junebug. Pucker up. 3 JUNO: Hey, back off, you— umf! JUNO (NARRATOR): The man smearing technicolor neurotoxins on my face was Cecil Kanagawa, the creative mind behind primetime stream blockbusters like “Classic Gangland Hits, Demonstrated” and “These Are Your Nightmares” and “Coliseum 2: We Gave the Lion a Gun And You Won’t Believe What Happens Next.” Cecil was the natural conclusion when you gave a mad scientist a spotlight and a near-unlimited budget. Actually, that’s not quite fair. Cecil wasn’t mad. He was worse than that: he was a genius. CECIL: Be sure to look to the cameras, friends, or we might have to do a second take. Recording a pilot live is a fool’s game. You never know what might go wrong. REX: Ah, I see! Then you’re filming ahead of time just in case one of us is hurt during this game? CECIL: (CACKLING) No, no, no. I’m filming it just in case one of you isn’t hurt. There. All done, Junebug. Here, take a look at yourself. JUNO: Damn it, Cecil, I said you’re not gonna get away with— nope, you know what, you’re right, that color looks pretty good on me. CECIL: Of course it does. I’ve never been wrong before. (LAUGHING) JUNO: Anyway, Cecil, you’re not exactly helping your case by locking us up like this! This whole stupid setup is halfway to a confession and you know it! CECIL: 4 Oh? A confession of what, Junebug? JUNO: You know what I mean! You were grounded here last night, you were the only one here last night that could open the case to his stupid Mask, and we both know you have it against me enough to smear my name in blood all over the wall. You had the motive, the means, and the ten tons of pure, uncut crazy to kill-- CECIL: My, you do go on, don’t you? I have no idea what you mean, Junebug. You’re much more cooperative, Agent. I might have to keep you around after all. REX: I try my best, Mr. Kanagawa. CECIL: Well, boys, it’s just about time to start the show. Good luck. And remember: we re making people smile out there. It ’ does your heart good to think of that, doesn’t it? JUNO: Damn it, Cecil! I saved your life, and this is how you thank me? CECIL: You did. And you even gave me a reason to get this special arm of mine. And now I’m thanking you for all the good you’ve done for me the only way I know how: I’m making you a star, baby. (FADING LAUGHTER) SOUND: FOOTSTEPS. DOOR CLOSING. JUNO: Well. We’re probably dead. REX: Speak for yourself, Detective. Cecil said he wanted to keep me around. JUNO: 5 He didn’t mean alive. REX: … Well. That changes things a bit. JUNO (NARRATOR): The guy I was tied to was Rex Glass, Special Agent with Dark Matters. He’d been assigned to help me with the Croesus Kanagawa murder case for two reasons: first, because of some stupid story about a curse on the Mask that killed Croesus; and second, because whoever killed Croesus had promised to come for me next. So far Glass’s mission had been a smashing success. We were tied back-to-back in two torture chairs after finding out that Cecil was probably the murderer, which meant that, A, he’d disproved the curse, and B, I wasn’t going to be the second victim because the blades on Glass’s chair looked sharper than mine. Definitely third, though. CECIL (OVER INTERCOM): Places, Camera Men! Filming begins in one minute! REX: Juno, would you mind shifting slightly? I would rather the cameras didn’t catch my face. JUNO: I’m not exactly thrilled about it either, Rex. Clients aren’t going to be thrilled about a Private Eye made Public. REX: How do you think Dark Matters would feel about a Secret Agent who can’t stay a Secret? JUNO: Look, if you want to keep your face hidden that badly, we ve just got to stop Cecil from uploading the footage. ’ Take down the Camera Men– REX: Or, better yet, take care of that transmitter in his bionic arm. JUNO: 6 Now you’re talkin’. Only question is how the hell we’re going to do that. REX: Do you have a blaster on you? JUNO: No, but I got one off me. It’s over by the door; the straps on the chair cut my holster before the Camera Men dragged us over. REX: Well, then, we’ll just have to get creative, won’t we? MUSIC: STARTS. What in the world? JUNO: Get out the popcorn, Rex. The show’s about to start. CECIL (ANNOUNCER): Welcome back, viewers! This is From the Jaws of Death, and I am your host, Cecil Kanagawa! But of course, who doesn’t know me? (LAUGHING) SOUND: A LAUGH TRACK, DISTORTED AND DISTANT. Now, let’s meet our contestants, shall we? SOUND: RECORDING OF CROWD CHEERING. In chair number one: Rex Glass! He’s a Special Agent with Dark Matters, viewers… but our talented team of researchers could find nothing else on him! Not a thing! Can this man who appeared without a trace vanish without one, too? JUNO: Impressive, Glass. No record at all? REX: Of course not. Dark Matters scrubs them for you. JUNO: Hmm. 7 CECIL (ANNOUNCER): And in chair number two: Juno Steel, Private Eye. Detective Steel has lost just about everything a person can lose: his career, his friends, and even his own brother! Doesn’t it just tear your heart out? SOUND: RECORDING OF AUDIENCE GASPING. REX: What? Juno…? JUNO: Don’t say anything. CECIL (ANNOUNCER): There’s only one question we have about Detective Steel tonight, viewers: will he fight through the tears and live -eight year for his little baby brother… or does this thirty tragedy end tonight? Let’s find out! Now, here are the rules: Detective Steel and Agent Glass are chained, back-to-back, in the Throne of Spinning Blades. This classic piece dates back to the Fascist Renaissance of the twenty-fifth century, friends, and the Detective and the Agent better watch out: those blades are made of genuine venom-brass, and boy, are they sharp! SOUND: RECORDING OF CROWD CHEERING AGAIN. Our contestants will have five minutes to escape before the Spinning Blades drop onto them… but there is a twist. JUNO: Of course there is. REX: Shh! Shh! I want to know the twist! CECIL (ANNOUNCER): The chain that binds them together is also affixed to a gear in the Throne s bladeworks.