and, as he ambled along, cannily plucked off heads of the grain and pocketed them. Back in America, he pondered on the best place to plant his prized grains, and settled on the marshy shorelipe of the Carolinas. CESAR escorted the two publishers to A GRAPHIC paragraph from Hallett The wild rice flourished there, and their favorite table in the Plaza Oak Abend's new book, "My Life in China": was the original lure for the myriad Room, took their order, and withdrew. "The worst part of a bombing experi­ of wild duck and other fowl that have After a quick survey of the room, to ence is that period of utter paralysis migrated to those parts ever since. check on who was lunching with which follows the concussion. For as A Manhattan jurist remarked that whom, the great men of the literary much as four minutes, if the bomb is this was just one more blessing we mart launched upon the following con­ a big one, nothing moves except swirl­ could credit to the Democrats. ... I versation : ing smoke and thick dust, and there was dining with Max Schuster one evening when he broke a tooth on a "This new paper cut is a block­ is no sound except the continued tinkle grain of wild rice. His rueful comment buster, isn't it? That fellow West of falling broken glass and the rumble was, "I've seen wild rice in my time, didn't leave out anything this time! of crumbling masonry. After about but this is certainly the wildest What did you think of him the other four minutes the wounded begin to yet!" . .. day, Joe?" moan and shriek and try to drag them­ "West doesn't know his—from his selves away; then come sounds of si­ —; that's what I think of him. Every rens and ambulances and fire engines; BROADWAY'S newest smash hit, "Mex­ one of those blank bureaucrats down and then the tempo of shocked life ican Hayride," is a perfect example in Washington has about twenty picks up with terrifying rapidity." . of both the virtues and the weaknesses lawyers working for him. No wonder Louis Sobol's London report: Barrett of the typical lavish musical extra­ they don't leave out anything!" Street runs into Wimpole Street; the vaganza of our time. The virtues in­ "Alfred says he's going right ahead city editor of a London paper is the clude riotously colorful costumes, a with his normal publishing program. gent who handles the financial page; slick, smooth production, beautiful If he runs out of paper in August, a little cinema on Baker Street spe­ girls, and a huge cast of attractive he says he'll close up shop and take cializes in American-made Sherlock performers, headed by my nomination a vacation for the rest of the year." Holmes pictures—for the laughs! . for the funniest man in America, Putnam's will publish Robert Wilder's "He's just sounding off as usual. Bobby Clark. Clark has a ten-minute new novel in April. The title is "Mr. Dudley is the guy who ought to worry. interlude as a wandering Mexican G Strings Along." ... A weird new Unless Yardley can pull another rabbit flute player that had a sophisticated edition of Hudson's "Far Away and out of a hat for him. He's been doing first-night audience holding its sides Long Ago" is bound in the unshorn it for twenty years." with laughter. The weaknesses are an skin of some repellent South American "No soap, Joe. This new order is almost unbelievable lack of original­ animal. A recipient complained: "I'm airtight. No more using other im­ ity and imagination in both the book not sure whether I'm supposed to read prints with a 'distributed by' under­ and the score. "Mexican Hayride" ob­ this book or wear it!" . neath! I wonder what that text book viously was not written; it was con­ outfit will do with all its paper this structed to order, and built on a well- year. Have you ever thought of buy­ ROY CHAPMAN ANDREWS provided a tested plan. The producer of a big ing up another company, Joe, to get group of friends recently with a suc­ musical today does not wait until the use of their quota?" culent feast of canvasback duck and some likely property—or even the wild rice. Neil MacNeil, of The Times, "Walter, you are a genius. Will you germ of an idea—is offered to him. felt called upon to explain how wild excuse me for a moment while I rush He amasses his bankroll ("Hayride" rice was first introduced into America. down and buy out Macmillan?" is reputed to have cost $225,000) and It seems that the grain was developed "Well, there's no use getting huffy, actually signs up principals before he accidentally in the Pontine marshes Joe. I'm just exploring every possi­ knows what his show is going to be in Italy; when the local authorities bility. Maybe things will ease up when about. Then he persuades some out­ became aware of its delicious taste that Russian and Swedish pulp starts standingly successful writers, gag­ and nutritive value, they slapped a arriving. Maybe we should be patriotic men, and tunesters to closet them­ complete embargo on its exportation. and take our medicine like men!" selves in a hotel suite somewhere and Thomas Jefferson was our Minister to "That's the ticket, Walter. Mean­ patch something together on which France at the time. He was taken on while, I'm going down to Washington he can hang the talent and specialties a tour of the Italian marsh region. Wednesday and try to pull a few he has assembled. strings. Not that I expect anything The book of "Mexican Hayride" is from those blank bureaucrats. News­ witless and inane, with whole pieces paper and magazine publishers get of business lifted from "Fifty Million extra paper when they need it, you Frenchmen" and the old Columbia bet. The lugs we send down there to burlesque wheel. Cole Porter, also look after our interests don't seem obviously writing to order, contributed to know the right people." CLOSeo a pedestrian, uninspired score—a pal­ "Would you go on the Washington ^oo. pable rewrite of tunes and lyrics that committee if they asked you, Joe?" YERENTVE he did infinitely better in years gone "Who, me ? I should say not. I can't tt lANeLOKtrt, by. His "Abracadabra" number stems get my work done as it is now. This directly from "My Heart Belongs to morning they put my head accountant Daddy"; "Count Your Blessings" is in 1-A. That was all I needed!" an unblushing blueprint of similar By this time both publishers had numbers in "Panama Hattie" and ruined their appetites. They dolefully "Something for the Boys"; the hit reached for their cocktails and changed song, "I Love You," is so similar the subject to the Lonergan trial. to a half dozen earlier Porter mel- 18 iTieSatunkpRmew PRODUCED 2005 BY UNZ.ORG ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED NORTH A 10 8 7 2 Can you ^ Q J 10 9 3 make a 0 3 contract • 10 7 4 of 3 No SOUTH Trump <|k K Q J with ^ A 4 0 A Q 7 6 5 these • A Q 9 cards? ''The most comprehensive analysis of "It's that trio—they want to be billed as 'John Charles Thomas.' " bridge playing odies that one could believe he was flops for which he had written the of all time — deliberately parodying himself. One book and lyrics, with a tag at the bot­ lyric about "a boy whale and a girl tom reading, "I've done it before and A bargain at twice the price, and whale" is really embarrassing. Rodg- I can do it again!" Oscar forgot to make no mistake about it." ers, Kern, and Berlin get better and mention his very first play, a little -CLEVELAND '' better, but Lordy, what has happened number called "The Light." He was a PLAIN DEALER to Cole Porter! . The critics have senior at Columbia at the time. Our become so accustomed to inane lib­ fraternity was very proud of him, "Better Bridge forBetterPlayers rettos in the big musicals that they and dispatched a scout to New Haven is not a new 'system.' What now accept them as a matter of course. to report on the tryout. His telegram Goren has done is to assume that As for the public—try and get tickets arrived about midnight. It read, " 'The his reader is a good player who for any of the current musical comedy Light' will never illuminate Broad­ wants to be a better one. He has exhibits! The best orchestra seats for way." He was right, too. "Okla­ therefore included in his book "Mexican Hayride" have been marked homa" will be published next month all the new wrinkles that have up to $5.50, but even that price doesn't in book form. So will "The Voice developed in bridge over the mean a thing. Speculators are getting of the Turtle" and "Over Twenty- last decade, combined then! up to ten and twelve dollars a seat One." . with sound elementary princi­ for this show, "Oklahoma," "Carmen ples that have made for good Jones," and "One Touch of Venus." . VAN CARTMELL, associate editor of bridge playing over the past two Jack Kapp, canny head of Decca Rec­ Doubleday, Doran and editor-in-chief decades, and fused the new and ords, notes a definite trend away from of the Garden City reprint line, will the old with a lot of good plain the highly sophisticated, double-en- spend two months of the year in the horse sense.