Loyola University Chicago Loyola eCommons Dissertations Theses and Dissertations 2010 The Complexities of Attachment, Peer Rejection and Gender Within a Middle School Dynamic - a Glimpse at Early Adolescents and Their Significant Relationships Barbara Ann Mestling Loyola University Chicago Follow this and additional works at: https://ecommons.luc.edu/luc_diss Part of the Social Work Commons Recommended Citation Mestling, Barbara Ann, "The Complexities of Attachment, Peer Rejection and Gender Within a Middle School Dynamic - a Glimpse at Early Adolescents and Their Significant Relationships" (2010). Dissertations. 261. https://ecommons.luc.edu/luc_diss/261 This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by the Theses and Dissertations at Loyola eCommons. It has been accepted for inclusion in Dissertations by an authorized administrator of Loyola eCommons. For more information, please contact [email protected]. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License. Copyright © 2010 Barbara Ann Mestling LOYOLA UNIVERSITY CHICAGO THE COMPLEXITIES OF ATTACHMENT, PEER REJECTION AND GENDER WITHIN A MIDDLE SCHOOL DYNAMIC A GLIMPSE AT EARLY ADOLESCENTS AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT RELATIONSHIPS A DISSERTATION SUBMITTED TO THE FACULTY OF THE GRADUATE SCHOOL IN CANDIDACY FOR THE DEGREE OF DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY PROGRAM IN SOCIAL WORK BY BARBARA A. MESTLING CHICAGO, ILLINOIS AUGUST 2010 Copyright by Barbara A. Mestling, 2010 All rights reserved. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS This work would not have been possible without the secure base of my own attachments starting with my parents, Frank and Lucille Calderone who taught me the value of both family and achievement. Although no longer on this earth, they are still with me even now. My husband Tom and my own children Neal, Rita, and Julie respected and acknowledged my work even when it got in the way. Tom seemed to know when to encourage me to take a much needed break. My sister Louise Calderone, just a phone call away, was always a reassuring, guiding light. I have been blessed with many friends both within the world of social work and without. Donna Kunz, whom I’ve known since my own adolescence, always came through with common sense and a new perspective. Our amazing “Book Club”, an eclectic group of steadfast friends, called me ‘doc’ long before I deserved the title. Members included Linda Kaye, Herb Lambrechts, Tom and Kathie Jacobs, and Kathy Bachmann. Dave Bachmann, now deceased, was also a part of this supportive group. My wonderful doctoral cohort has been an essential safety net, especially Debbie Major who was always ready to lend a listening ear and give the right dose of sage advice. Lorrie Schied (recently deceased) and Sheri Denton offered support, encouragement and clarity. I am extremely grateful to the administration at my place of employment who allowed me to conduct this study. My co-workers there always offered words of iii encouragement and never let on if they tired of hearing about my challenges. There are also other friends and colleagues who were always in the right place at the right time. Finally, I would like to extend my gratitude to my doctoral committee--to Dr. Marta Lundy who helped me see other intriguing facets of this complex topic relative to trauma and family systems and to Dr. Terry Kilbane who got me through the complex and sometimes daunting research design and data analysis, even when it was not smooth sailing. Last but definitely not least, many thanks to Dr. Randolph Lucente who has supported and guided me in my education and career since MSW days and throughout all phases of the doctoral program. In addition to encouraging me to deepen my use of theory through the exploration of reflective functioning, it was he who turned things around for me during the most challenging portion of this study by encouraging me to “answer the questions that have not been asked” rather than dwelling on those that could not be answered. It is my hope that I have done an adequate job in this endeavor. iv To my husband Tom and my children, Neal, Rita, and Julie The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. --Carl Jung TABLE OF CONTENTS ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS iii LIST OF TABLES xi LIST OF FIGURES xiii ABSTRACT xiv CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION 1 The Problem of Peer Rejection 1 Significance of the Study 6 Theory 8 Practice 8 Policy 10 Social Issues and Action 11 Methodological Contributions 12 Definition of Terms 12 CHAPTER TWO: LITERATURE REVIEW/THEORETICAL FRAME 14 Introduction 14 Aspects of Attachment 14 Attachment Theory and Peer Rejection 14 Overview of Attachment Theory 15 Attachment, Information Processing and Defense 20 Attachment and Development of Mentalization 23 Attachment, Peer Rejected Youths, and the Systems Approach 26 Attachment within the Family System 28 Attachment in Adolescence 31 Early Adolescent Development and Interpersonal Identity Formation 34 Attachment, Affect Regulation, Mentalization, and Autonomy 36 Meaning, Attachment, and Adolescent Social Development 38 The Adolescent Group—Impact Upon Identity 40 Stigma and the Alien Self-Relationship to Trauma 43 Bridge to Peer Rejection and Gender 45 Peer Rejection, Culture, and Gender—“Both/and, not either/or” 45 Gender, Race, and Social Aggression—Emerging Research 53 Gender and Physical Aggression 55 Attachment and Gender 56 Attachment, Peer Rejection, and Gender—Possible Connections 59 Further Contextual Considerations—The Impact of Trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress upon Attachment and Peer Relations 60 Relevance to Social Work 63 Social Work Frame of Reference 63 vii Historical Social Work Perspective—Path to the Present—Link with Present Study 63 Social Work Knowledge and Values re: Attachment and Peer Rejection 66 Oppression, Empowerment, and Peer Rejection 67 The School as Context for Relationships 71 The Social Worker Within the Organizational Context of the School 71 Role of the School Social Worker—Practice Models 72 Current Clinical Interventions 74 Behavioral Paradigm 74 Cognitive Paradigm 75 Relationship Factors and Attachment—Oriented Approaches 76 School Social Work Intervention Policy 78 CHAPTER THREE: RESEARCH METHODOLOGY 81 Overview and Research Rationale 81 How Current Knowledge has Shaped the Research Question 81 Research Study Focus and Assumptions 82 Research Question 82 Research Project Design—Two Phase Explanatory Model 82 Phase I 85 Sample—Quantitative 86 Measures—Quantitative 86 Measurement Issues and Quantitative Instrument Choice Rationale: Peer Rejection 86 Peer Rejection Instrument Utilized—CSEQ-SR—Description and Challenges 87 Use of the Parent Demographic Form 90 Measurement/Instrumentation Issues and Quantitative Methods and Evaluations: Attachment 90 Attachment Measurement Strategy—The Behavioral Systems Questionnaire (BSQ) 93 Additional Measurement Issues 95 Ethical Considerations 96 Delimitations 97 Data Collection—Quantitative 97 Initial Recruitment 97 Recruitment Activities 98 Data Collection Procedures 99 Data Management Strategies—Quantitative 100 Data Analysis Strategies—Quantitative 100 Phase II 101 Sample—Qualitative 101 Initial Proposed Interview Strategy 101 Actual Interview Strategy 101 Data Collection—Qualitative 103 Qualitative Procedures—Interview Protocol 103 viii Interview Considerations 104 Data Management—Qualitative 105 Data Analysis Strategies—Qualitative 105 Unanticipated Contextual Events 105 CHAPTER FOUR: RESULTS 107 Profile of Study Participants 107 The Parent Questionnaire 110 Life Experiences of Study Participants 110 Peer Relationships—Parent Perceptions 118 Attachment—Quantitative 122 Measurement of Attachment Style—The Behavioral Systems Questionnaire (BSQ)—Changes and Challenges 122 Attachment—Qualitative: Students and their Attachment Relationships as Revealed upon Interview 125 Peer Dynamics—Quantitative 137 Measurement of Peer Rejection—The CSEQ-SR—Compared to Parent Perceptions 137 Peer Relationships—Qualitative: Dynamics and Strategies as Perceived by Students 142 Student Culture at Middle School 142 The Ignored Student—A Description 147 Surviving the Peer Arena 150 Comparison of Qualitative and Quantitative Data—Attachment and Peer Rejection 153 CHAPTER FIVE: DISCUSSION 163 Addressing the Original Research Question 163 Comments on Study Design 164 Ethical Issues in Social Work Research—Vulnerable Populations, Dual Roles, and the Quest for Relevant Information 165 Measuring Attachment in Early Adolescence—Can it be Done? 166 Adolescent Attachment and Anxiety—What is Security? 170 Middle School Parent and Peer Relationships and Mentalization 172 Culture, Prejudice, and Failures of Mentalization 176 Risk, Resilience, and Gender 176 Summary of Study Contributions 179 Measurement/Research 179 Theory 180 Policy 181 Practice 181 Suggestions for Further Research 182 ix CHAPTER SIX: SUMMARY AND CONCLUSION 184 Research Problem 184 Summary of Literature Review 185 Research Questions 188 Summary of Methodology 188 Results 189 Limitations/Generalizability 190 Conclusions/Implications 191 APPENDIX A: CHILD SELF-EXPERIENCE QUESTIONNAIRE- SELF REPORT (CSEQ-SR) 192 APPENDIX B: PARENT QUESTIONNAIRE 198 APPENDIX C: BEHAVIORAL SYSTEMS QUESTIONNAIRE (BSQ) 202 APPENDIX D: PARENT COVER LETTER 214 APPENDIX E: STUDENT COVER LETTER 216 APPENDIX F: PARENT CONSENT FORM 218 APPENDIX G: STUDENT ASSENT FORM 223 APPENDIX H: COUNSELING RESOURCES 225 APPENDIX I: INTERVIEW PROTOCOL 227 REFERENCES 231 VITA 251 x LIST OF TABLES Table Page 1. Gender