Deep Fun: Games and Activities As Young Religious Unitarian Universalists, we games have rules or names that vary from district to develop our own culture. Games have always been an district. This book does not, by any means, contain the important part of that culture. We play games in youth “right” version of any game, only the one that has found group meetings, at conferences, during worships, or to its way to us and that we have used successfully. We break up a business plenary session. Although games encourage you to make these games your own by are a wonderful way to socialize, they can also fulfill adapting them to the size, needs, and tastes of your other goals of successful YRUU programming. They group. can be a vehicle for learning, leadership, worship, and even social action. Games remind us that the spirit of To make this book more user-friendly for youth and fun can permeate everything we do, and that fun can advisors, we decided to organize the games into five be full of meaning. chapters, loosely based on Denny Rydberg’s “Five Steps to Building Community.” Introducing new games to your In the course of Unitarian Universalist Youth youth group or conference will work best if your timing is history, many games have endeared themselves to all right--if you choose games that fit the level of our hearts. Games like Silent Football, and All My community already attained and nudge the group on to Friends and Neighbors have become legendary in YRUU the next level. Following this introduction is an outline of circles all over the continent. They generate some of the “Five Steps.” We have relied on this system to our fondest and silliest memories. More serious explain how community develops in YRUU settings at “games,” like the Angel Wash and the Power Shuffle continental trainings, and we consider it whenever we are used in worships and have a loyal following. Their plan programming for a YRUU event. Before each rules are passed from district to district and from YRUU chapter are a few hints and suggestions for planning generation to generation. This book will document youth programming for that particular stage. In the these games so they will not be forgotten by future game descriptions themselves, we tried to alternate YRUUers. It will be distributed continentally, so that between masculine and feminine pronouns, in order to new or remote youth groups will have immediate be grammatically and politically correct. Don’t let it access to the games the rest of us know and love. We confuse you! have collected these games from our own memories and those of our friends, and from games discussions This book is a stockpile of ideas; the rest is up to on the YRUU email list-serve. We have refined their you. Anyone who has ever had a flash of inspiration, descriptions using many books and resources, stood up and tried to explain a game to a group of including books by the Raccoon Institute and Learned excited, noisy, and energetic YRUUers can tell you, Enterprises, The New Games Book, and an LRY teaching and learning games with each other is half the programs packet by Bev Hendricks. Many of these fun. 1 Since ours is a living tradition, and new games are being introduced all the time, this book will be a first edition of many. We will to continue to revise and add to it in the future. If your favorite game did not make it in, or if you and your friends have invented a new game, send us a description and soon the whole continent may be playing it! Send any correspondence to: The Youth Office 25 Beacon St. Boston, MA 02108 Acknowledgments Putting this book together while working at the Youth Office has been a terrific challenge. I want to thank everyone who wanted a gamebook for your patience. I hope the product was worth it! Thanks to Marc for leaving this unfinished project on my desk (and for the huge chunk of work you did on it)! Thank you to my Youth Office cohorts, Jen Devine, Alison Purcell, and Galen Moore for your editing skills and contributions. And thank you Florida District YRUU, for teaching me how to play. 2 Five Steps to Building Community Adapted by Jennifer Martin and Galen Moore from Building Community in Youth Groups by Denny Rydberg Step One: Bonding personal imperfections, and struggles are shared by the The first step in building community is to break group. Individuals discover that their uniqueness is not down the cliques and barriers that exist, and to strange but wonderful and the group accepts and loves establish a relationship of trust among the individuals them. in the group. A problem-solving task or other activity that requires group members to work side by side can Step Three: Affirming create communal bonds. As they discuss solutions and The act of encouraging each other through help one another accomplish the goal, group members affirmation is crucial to the growing process of a group. transcend their diverse backgrounds. Cooperation is When a young man’s peers compliment him, he feels the goal. As each person’s input is accepted and more confident in himself in relation to the group and welcomed by others, they begin to identify themselves can share deeper feelings. When friends tell a young as part of the team. woman that they appreciate her, she realizes that she is worthy of love and praise. Many reclusive youth become Step Two: Opening Up active members of the group when they realize others When an individual can share non-threatening care about them. Participants in affirming interactions areas of her or his life, an exciting step in group leave feeling warm and fuzzy about the group and building has taken place. If one person perceives that themselves. This feeling is especially crucial at this another is genuinely interested in her or his story, then stage of the community building process. After Opening trust will develop between the two. Unfortunately, the Up, people need positive feedback before they will reverse is also true. If a person perceives that others consider sharing further. It is important to remember do not care enough to listen, trust, the foundation of that adult leaders and advisors are an integral part of community, will not be established. The more the community building process and they need sympathetically a group listens, the more secure an affirmation just like everyone else. individual feels as a member of a group. The exercises done in this step should be flexible, so that people can share to whatever degree they feel Step Four: Stretching comfortable. Participants go away from these activities Difficult situations naturally arise if the group is enthusiastic about the deepening friendships they are together long enough. These include problems that arise developing in their group. They realize that their in group members’ lives like divorce, illness, drug abuse; 3 or those that affect the group directly like division of Step Five: Deeper Sharing & Goal Setting the church, rules violation, cliques at conferences. At this stage, individuals share deeply with one These situations are opportunities for stretching. another and set goals. The youth group becomes a However, since many youth groups are together for setting where young people can express their visions of only a short period you may not want to wait for a the future and present struggles. The group will not stretching experience to surface on its own. It is laugh at or condemn its members if they admit they sometimes necessary to initiate one. flunked a test, or that they dream of becoming a US Stretching exercises reap many benefits. When senator, or that they have a drinking problem. people move beyond their normal comfort level they When a group member shares a problem, the rest of experience the greatest potential for growth. Group the group gives support and encouragement by members facing struggles together must actively care expressing sympathy. The group can help the individual for each other. Individuals cannot merely say they talk through possible solutions and goals. The group care for each other in a stretching exercise; they must holds the individual accountable for his or her decisions, actively show it. They must create an atmosphere remaining supportive throughout the process. where people feel comfortable enough to expose their It is important to keep in mind that not all of a imperfections to the group. For example, if the group person’s thoughts are appropriate to share in a group plans a trip to the hospital to visit terminally ill setting. A person should be discouraged from telling the children, a popular member who appears to have his entire youth group details of her life that might hurt life together might admit his apprehensions about another member of the group. She should be talking one-on-one with those less fortunate than he. encouraged to share these struggles with one another or When he sees that the group still likes him, he realizes the advisor(s) on a one to one basis, and in these that his facade of perfection is unnecessary. And when conversations come up with a suitable way to bring it to self-critical members of the group discover that even the group. seemingly perfect people have struggles, they will be less hard on themselves. Action Through a simple stretching exercise, individuals Taking a group through the five steps is essential to also realize they can achieve much more as a group communal group, but it is only the beginning of the than they could as a collection of individuals.