Grandmothers and Grandmothering FalVWinter 2005 Volume 7, Number 2 Founding Editor and Editor-in-Chief Andrea O'Reilly Advisory Board Patricia Bell-Scott, Maly Kay Blakely, Paula Caplan, Patrice DiQuinzio, Miriam Edelson, Miriam Johnson, Carolyn Mitchell, Joanna Radbord, Sara Ruddick, Lori Saint-Martin Literary Editor Rishma Dunlop Book Review Editor Ruth Panofsky Administrative Assistant RenCe Knapp Guest Editorial Board Marion Gold Dolana Mogadime Ruby Newman Andrea O'Reilly Production Editor Luciana Ricciutelli Proofreader Randy Chase Association for Research on Mothering 726 Atkinson, York University 4700 Keele Street, Toronto, ON M3J 1P3 Tel: (416) 736-2100 ext. 60366 Email: [email protected]; Website: www.yorku.ca/crm TheJournaZ ofthe Association for Research on Mothering (ISSN 1488-0989) is published by The Association for Research on Mothering (ARM) The Association for Research on Mothering (ARM) is the first feminist organization devoted specifically to the topics of mothering and motherhood. ARM is an association of scholars, writers, activists, policy makers, educators, parents, and artists. ARM is housed at Atkinson College, York University, Toronto, Ontario. Our mandate is to provide a forum for the discussion and dissemination of feminist, academic, and community grassroots research, theory, and praxis on mothering and motherhood. We are committed in both membership and research to the inclusion of all mothers: First Nations, immigrant and refugee mothers, working-class mothers, lesbian mothers, mothers with disabilities, mothers ofcolour, and mothers ofother marginalized communities. We welcome memberships to ARM and submissions to the Journal of the Association for Research on Mothering, our biannual publication, from all individuals. Membership and Subscription Information Full individual memberships are available for $8SCdn/US; institutional memberships are $120Cdn/US for 2006. AMmembership includes member- ship to the association, a members directory, a biannual newsletter, participa- tion on a listserve, pre-registration for annual conferences, and a subscription to the biannual Journal of the Associationfor Research on Mothering, as well as regular information mailings with respect to upcoming events, lecture series, conferences, workshops, and fundraisers. Basic and student memberships are also available, as is a subscription solely to the journal. Please see the last page of this journal for detailed information and order forms. Submission Guidelines In order to submit articles, book reviews, or poetry to the Journal of the Associationfor Research on Mothering, contributors must be a member of ARM. Thejournal will only consider material which is not under consideration at any other journal or publication. Please contact us for a list of upcoming themes as well as a copy of our style sheet. Articles should be typed, double-spaced, no longer than 3750 words (or 15 pages), and accompanied by a diskette. Art or photographs may accompany your work. ARM reserves the right to edit manuscripts for length and conformity to our editorial guidelines and house style. We will not publish writing that is sexist, homophobic, racist, or in any way discriminatory. Submissions will be blind-reviewed by a guest editorial board. Articles printed in the journal do not necessarily reflect the views of the editors, the staffofthejournal, or ofour funders. Contributors retain copyright. No reproduction of any part of this journal is permitted without prior written permission from ARM. Grandmothers and Grandmothering Fall/Winter 2005 Volume 7, Number 2 Contents Grandma's Hands: An Open Letter to My Grandmother "Mother" by Dawn L. Wright Williams 7 Pesky Raging Grannies: Speaking Truth to Power with Wisdom, Humour and Spunky Actions by Carole Roy 13 Teenage Girls and their Grandmothers: Building Connections Across Difference by Rebecca Ruby 24 "This is So You Know You Have Options": Lesbian Grandmothers and the Mixed Legacies of Nonconformity by Serena Patterson 38 How Grandmothers Become "Second Moms": Family Policies and Grandmothering in Britain, Germany and Sweden by Katrin Kriz 49 The Social Construction of Success for Granchildren by African American Grandmothers by Priscilla A. Gibson and Carofyn Cornils Scherer 63 South African Canadian Women Reclaiming Revolutionary Storytelling Through Grandmother's Warrior Eyes by Dolana Mogadime Building Bridges of Friendship: Intercultural Grandmothers Uniting by Kim A. Mowison Latina Grandmothers: Spiritual Bridges to Ancestral Lands by Gisela Norat Ghanaian Mothers Helping Adult Daughters: The Survival of Malnourished Grandchildren by Brenda F. McGadney-Douglass, Ricbard L. Douglass, Nana Araba Apt and Pbyllis Antwi Telling Our Grandmothers' Stories: Teaching and Celebrating the History of the Women in Our Lives by Susan Loudermilk Gana and Sbaron Talley Reflections on Being a Grandmother by Marguerite Guzman Bouvard Folio Editor's Notes by Risbma Dunlop thanks by yaya Yao turned by yaya Yao Sugar Bread Dreams by Trela Anderson Aziz Journal by Robbie Pfeufer Kabn Re-constructing Romania: An Autobiographical Account of Foreign Adoption-A Reader's Theatre in Five Voices by Karen Krasny Fresh Sheets by Renee Norman Time Coming by Laurie Kruk I / Volume 7, Number 2 Book Reviews The Raging Grannies: Wild Hats, Cheeky Songs and WittyActions for a Better World reviewed by M. Louise Ripley 180 Intentional Grandparenting:A Boomer's Guide reviewed by Susan Swanson CommunicationAmong Grandmothers, Mothers andAdult Daugfiters reviewed by Ruth Nemzoff 183 Toni Morrison and Motherhood: A Politics of the Heart reviewed by Dolana Mogadime Women? Stories ofDivorce at Childbirth: When the Baby Rocks the Cradle reviewed by Sandra Jarvie 185 Unbecomoing Mothers: The Social Production of MaternalA8sence reviewed by Amy Mullin 186 In Search of Sfielter: SuE.jectiivity and Spaces of Loss in the Fiction of Paule Constant reviewed by Marla H. Kohlman Making Women Pay: The Hidden Costs of Fetal Rights reviewed by Jennifer Musial Crooked Smile: One Family's Journey Toward Healing reviewed by Christine Peets Contributor Notes Front Cover "Grandmother and Child." Photo: Ian Richard Barnett Journal ofthe Associationfor Research on Mothering ( 5 Dawn L. Wright Williams Grandma's Hands An Open Letter to My Grandmother "Mother" It is estimatedthat52percentofAfiican Americangrandmothers in the United States who live with theirgrandchildren are theirgrandchildren ?primay caregivers ("Did You Know?", 2004). Refecting upon her l@ as an African American girVwoman raised by agrandmother, the author addresses an open letter to her. The writerpays homage to her grandmother while recollecting a wealth of experiences and special memories of time spent with her grandmother "mother." Grandma's hands Clapped in church on Sunday morning Grandma's hands Played the tambourine so well Grandma's hands Used to issue out a warning She'd say "Gladys don't you run so fast," Might fall on a piece of glass, Might be snakes there in that grass, Grandma's hands.. (Withers, 2001) The African American Grandmother has been variously described as the guardian of the generation: The preserver of extended families, the keeper and sharer of history, wisdom, and folk beliefs, the source and communicators of values and ideals and the protector of grandchil- dren. (Gibson, 2002: 36) Reflecting upon my life I have composed an open letter to my grandmother. It recounts my experiencesbeing raised as her child. While I maintained regular Journal oftbeAssociation for Research on Mothering 1 7 Dawn L. Wright Williams contact with my mother, my grandmother, affectionatelyreferred to as MaMa (pronounced Mah Mah), was my primary caregiver or my grandmother "mother." This recollection also includes memories of my great-grandmother, MaMa's mother, ofwhom I am vividly reminded by the relationship MaMa now has with my own daughters. Dear MaMa, As I sit here trying to write of my experiences growing up with you I often find myself moved to tears. I have so many memories, so many feelings, so many fears. I'm not quite sure where to start. I guess I will just start at the beginning. When I think of my life with you I think of not only love but also triumph and security. Triumph because we both triumphed over many adversities together by holding on to one another. Security because, plain and simple, that's what you provided me. I often thought as a young child what would happen to me if something happened to you. Where would I go? Who would care for me? Who could ever love me as you do? I still find myself, afier 36 years of living, asking myself the same questions. We have shared so much together. My memories are full of my life with you. As a young child I don't remember much but I created these memories from all the stories you shared with me (and everyone else) of my early years on this earth. I seem to find it difficult to separate my recollections from yours: talung my first steps in your home, walking around the corner and looking up to see your smile and open arms celebrating my accomplishment; my first time reading the word "exit" to you on one of our many shopping trips in Chicago. I do remember the many nights you bathed and carried me, giggling to your bed then preparing our night-time ritual of eating chopped fruit and watching Johnny Carson. I remember the patience you hadwith me when I reminded you to "S-t-o-p" while driving because I had just learned to read the word. I have to remind myself of the patience you had with me as my young daughters now do the very same thing. I saw you as perfect as I did your mother, my great grandma. My young eyes saw you as beautiful. I remember you getting ready for church and admiring your perfection: your hair, your nails, your clothes, you. Remember- ing your hands they were always soft, well manicured, carrying a cute pock- etbook and sometimes carrying me. Your hands hid all the hard work and hard times you had gone through and still were going through while raising me.