DAY BY DAY WITH BHAGAVAN From the Diary of A. DEVARAJA MUDALIAR SRI RAMANASRAMAM TIRUVANNAMALAI 2002 © Sri Ramanasramam, Tiruvannamalai First Combined Reprint in 1968 (3000) Second Reprint 1977 (5000) Third Reprint 1989 (3000) Fourth Reprint 1995 (3000) Fifth Reprint 2002 (3000) ISBN: 81-88018-82-1 Price: Rs. CC No: 1013 Published by V.S. Ramanan President, Board of Trustees Sri Ramanasramam Tiruvannamalai 606 603 Tamil Nadu India Tel: 91-4175-37292 Fax: 91-4175-37491 Email: [email protected] Website: http://www.ramana-maharshi.org PREFACE A word as to the origin of this work may not be out of place. It was my great good fortune to live for more than four years, from August 1942 till the end of 1946, at Sri Ramanasramam and to have the inestimable benefit of daily contact with our Bhagavan. After I had been there for some months various people who visited the Asramam began to suggest that it would be a good thing if I recorded Bhagavan’s utterances on spiritual topics, either in answer to questions from visitors or in any other context. For a long time, however, I was too lazy to make the effort. Nevertheless, whenever I read the ‘Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa’, as I used to now and then, I felt how desirable it was that a similar book should be compiled in the case of our Bhagavan. When I had drifted on like this for some years, on the morning of January 1st, 1945, within the space of about an hour, three different persons — a lawyer’s clerk, son of Sankara Ammal doing service in the Asramam, a businessman of Madras by name M.V.P. Sastri, whom I had known since his boyhood at Chittoor, and O.P. Ramaswami Reddi, who later became Chief Minister of Madras — all urged me to undertake the task as, in their kind opinion, I was best fitted for it besides having the necessary facility of constant close contact with Bhagavan. The appeal coming from such widely different persons on the first day of the year and all of them approaching me in such quick succession and without any previous consultation amongst themselves made such a deep impression on me that I took it as a call really from Bhagavan. So, that very day I started keeping an Asramam Diary. My idea was to preserve for Bhagavan’s devotees all that took place in the Asramam that might be of interest or importance from one point of view or another, and mainly Bhagavan’s answers to questions addressed to him by visitors from all quarters of the globe, for many of whom I acted as a sort of official translator in Bhagavan’s Court. I told Bhagavan of the circumstances under which I started the work, thus asking for his blessing on it. Then I obtained permission from the Sarvadhikari. Also, for the first few days I read out to Bhagavan whatever I had recorded so that he could correct me anywhere where I had gone wrong. Even when I was interpreting Bhagavan to visitors, if I made the slightest mistake Bhagavan would pull me up. Whenever I myself was in doubt as to what Bhagavan meant I used to ask for further clarification and Bhagavan willingly explained things again for my benefit. After the first two or three days I gave up reading my entries to Bhagavan daily, but on any day when I was in doubt whether I had accurately recorded what Bhagavan had said, I used to read out my entry for the day and correct it wherever he indicated that it was necessary. Only a part of these records of mine seems to be available to the Asramam authorities for publication just now. I am glad that at least so much is to be published by them immediately. I believe they came into existence because Bhagavan willed it and I believe it is his will that at least a part of them should now appear in print. I hope and pray to Bhagavan that the publication may prove not merely of interest but of great use to those who read it and that he may bestow his grace on all who go through it in earnestness and faith. 1st January 1952 A. DEVARAJA MUDALIAR Day by Day with Bhagavan ________ 16-3-45 Morning A visitor: Should I give up my business and take to reading books on Vedanta? Bhagavan: If the objects have an independent existence, i.e., if they exist anywhere apart from you, then it may be possible for you to go away from them. But they don’t exist apart from you; they owe their existence to you, your thought. So, where can you go, to escape them? As for reading books on Vedanta, you may go on reading any number of them. They can only tell you, ‘Realise the Self within you’. The Self cannot be found in books. You have to find it out for yourself, in yourself. Evening Almost the same question was put by another visitor in the afternoon and Bhagavan said, “Where can you go, fleeing from the world or objects? They are like the shadow of a man, which the man cannot flee from. There is a funny story of a man who wanted to bury his shadow. He dug a deep pit and, seeing his shadow at the bottom, was glad he could bury it so deep. He went on filling the pit and when he had completely filled it up he was surprised and disappointed to find the shadow on top. Even so, the objects or thoughts of them will be with you always, till you realise the Self.” 1 17-3-45 Afternoon Mr. T.P. Ramachandra Aiyar asked Bhagavan about the meaning of Ao I° in the stanza of ‘Ds[Õ SôtTÕ’ (Reality in Forty Verses). B: Ao I° means ¨û\kR I°. It refers to that light of manas in which we see all the world, both the known and the unknown of the world. There is first the white light, so to call it, of the Self, which transcends both light and darkness. In it no object can be seen. There is neither seer nor seen. Then there is total darkness or avidya in which also no objects are seen. But from the Self proceeds a reflected light, the light of pure manas, and it is this light which gives room for the existence of all the film of the world which is seen neither in total light nor in total darkness, but only in the subdued or reflected light. It is this light which is referred to in the stanza. 18-3-45 On or about 15-3-45 Bhagavan had asked someone in the hall to read aloud Bhakta Vijayam, to illustrate from the story of Tulasi Das, how one totally immersed in sensual life, suddenly recoils and goes to the other extreme of a highly religious life. In the story, Tulasi Das runs away from wife and home and is mad after Hari at Banaras. The wife and mother go and entreat him to come back, reminding him of his great love for them all. He takes no notice of them at all, but asks them, “Has my Hari come? Yes. He is coming there!” etc. He was mad after Hari alone and took interest in nothing else. When this portion was being read out, Bhagavan said, “I was somewhat like this at Madura. Going to school, books in hand, I would be eagerly desiring and expecting that God would suddenly appear before me in the sky; and so I would be looking up at the sky. What sort of progress could such a one make in his studies at school!” 2 [This was apparently shortly before he left Madura. I have never heard before, either from Bhagavan or from others, that he was so God-mad at Madura. So I record it here.] 19-3-45 Morning A visitor from Sind, very probably Kundanlal A. Mahatani of Hyderabad, Sind, (now Pakistan) asked: “It is said the world and the objects that we see are all unreal, like the snake in the rope. It is also stated in other places that the seer and the seen are the same. If the seer and the seen are same, then how can we say that the seen is unreal?” B.: All that is meant is that the seen regarded as an independent entity, independent of the Self, is unreal. The seen is not different from the seer. What exists is the one Self, not a seer and a seen. The seen regarded as the Self is real. V.: It is said the world is like a dream. But there is this difference between dream and the waking state. In dream I see my friends or relations and go through some experiences with them. When I wake up and ask those friends or relations whom I met in the dream about the dream, they know nothing about it. But in the waking state what I see and hear is corroborated by so many others. B.: You should not mix up the dream and the waking states. Just as you seek corroboration about the waking state experiences from those whom you see in the waking state, you must ask for corroboration about the dream experiences from those whom you saw in the dream state, i.e., when you were in the dream. Then in the dream, those friends or relations whom you saw in the dream would corroborate you.