NOSEI B’OL IM CHAVEIRO Being Aware and Sharing the Pain of Others Avi Lasdun, Ph.D. נושא בעל עם חברו - The virtue of Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro Section # Section Title Page # Introduction 1 I What is the meaning of being Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro? 5 II Who are our models of a Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro? 10 III What is the reason for the imperative to be Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro? 32 IV Defining the power of Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro 43 Examples of Mitzvos which demonstrate the importance of being Nosei B’ol V 47 Im Chaveiro Why is the ma’alah of Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro one of the forty-eight (48) qualities VI 53 for Torah acquisition? The reciprocal Nesiah B’ol relationship between Hashem and Klal Yisrael and its VII 61 role in Kiddush Hashem VIII How Nesiah B’ol activates Heavenly salvation for Klal Yisrael 72 IX The ma’alah of Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro is a key component of Tefilla 77 X Strategies for developing and expressing the ma’alah of Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro 87 XI Klal Yisrael’s responsibility to be Nosei B’ol with all mankind 96 XII Stories of awesome Nesiah B’ol demonstrated by great Torah scholars 98 on behalf of our distressed brethren 101 ”עת רצון“ Conclusion: Creating an Summary Summary: Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro: Definition, importance, and applications 103 Table Rav Chatzkel Levenstein: A Jew’s obligation to respond empathically and to Appendix A 105 share in the suffering of all mankind. References 107 Index of subsections Dedications לעילוי נשמת הרב ישראל יוסף אליהו בן ר׳ טוביה הלוי זצ״ל אחי ורבי, ידיד נאמן, נעים בכל דרכיו. Rabbi Yosef Lasdun, zt”l, the toil of Torah was his joy. לעילוי נשמת הרב ראובן צבי זצ״ל בן הרב מנחם יצחק הי"ו מלמד תשב״ר, אהוב וחביב לתלמידיו לקרוביו ולחבריו. Rabbi Reuven Bauman, zt”l, beloved Yeshiva Rebbi. יהי זכרם ברוך תנצב״ה ii Index of subsections Page Section Section/subsection Title no. (s) Introduction 1-4 I What is the meaning of being Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro? 5-9 II Who are our models of a Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro? 10-31 HaKadosh Boruch Hu: Hashem’s initial revelation to Moshe from the A thorn bush – a manifestation of His shared pain with Klal Yisroel. 10 Moshe Rabbeinu set aside his regal standing to personally participate in B the suffering of his brethren. 15 Yosef HaTzaddik, as viceroy of Egypt, experienced the hardships of his C subjects on a personal level. 20 Aharon HaKohen excelled in feeling genuine joy for another person’s D success. 24 Rebbi Akiva’s Nesiah B’ol: The hidden promise of greatness seen by his E wife, Rochel. 27 III What is the reason for the imperative to be a Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro? 32-42 The Mitzvah of “following in Hashem’s ways”: Being Nosei B’ol emulates A 32 Hashem’s ways. B Being Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro promotes unity (achdus) within Klal Yisroel. 35 Nesiah B’ol defines the interpersonal Mitzvos we perform as a service of C 40 the heart. iii Index of subsections Page Section Section/subsection Title no. (s) IV Defining the power of Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro 43-46 Being Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro denotes vicariously experiencing another A 43 person’s feelings. Through our Nesiah B’ol with people in distress, we help deliver Heavenly B 44 salvation to them by annulling the middas Hadin against them. Examples of Mitzvos which demonstrate the importance of being V 47-52 Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro Loaning money: Viewing ourselves as if we are the poor person in need A 47 of a loan Special care to avoid hurting the convert: Sensitivity arising from our own B 48 painful experiences Gladdening the hearts of the less fortunate: “Finding room” in our hearts C 49 to include them in our festivities The Jewish servant and the solitary pillow: Exquisite sensitivity to the D 51 servant’s feelings of degradation. Why is the ma’alah of Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro one of the forty-eight (48) VI 53-60 means for Torah acquisition? A person who is Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro views situations from another’s A 53 person perspective, an essential quality for arriving at the truth in Torah. To acquire one’s portion in Torah, one must participate in the unity of B 54 Klal Yisroel, which is expressed by being Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro. A Nosei B’ol searches for common roots to relate to his fellow’s C predicament. Torah study also seeks underlying commonalities to 57 connect seemingly disparate topics. When we are Nosei B’ol, we restore our friend’s dignity, and therefore, D 58 are worthy of acquiring the Torah to unveil Hashem’s glory in the world. iv Index of subsections Page Section Section/subsection Title no. (s) The reciprocal Nesiah B’ol relationship between Hashem and Klal Yisrael VII 61-71 and its role in Kiddush Hashem Hashem’s Nesiah B’ol for the – ”לשארית נחלתו“ ,The Divine middah A 61 Jewish people’s suffering. Our Nesiah B’ol for Hashem’s pain and the responsibility to pray for relief B 64 of His pain. Being Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro sensitizes us to prioritize Kiddush Hashem in C 67 our lives. VIII How Nesiah B’ol activates Heavenly salvation for Klal Yisrael 72-76 Our Nesiah B’ol with each other activates Hashem’s middah of A 72 .to flow toward us ”לשארית נחלתו“ We merited redemption from Egypt because of our Nesiah B’ol. Our final B 72 redemption will be activated by being Nosei B’ol with each other. Three approaches how our Nesiah B’ol with someone in distress helps C 74 deliver Heavenly salvation. IX The ma’alah of Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro is a key component of Tefilla 77-86 The proper mindset of shared suffering during our prayers on behalf of A 77 people in distress. Reclaiming the quality of Tefilla with Neisah B’ol that was present in B 78 previous generations. Avrohom Avinu merited that Hashem spoke to him because of his C 80 Nesiah B’ol during his fervent prayer to spare the Sodomites. Moshe Rabbeinu saved the Jewish nation from destruction through D 83 prayer which emanated from his outstanding level of Nesiah B’ol. E Nesiah B’ol during our prayers on behalf of people struggling with illness. 84 Recent Tzaddikim whose Tefillos were punctuated with Nesiah B’ol on F 85 behalf of fellow Jews. v Index of subsections Page Section Section/subsection Title no. (s) Strategies for developing and expressing the ma’alah of Nosei B’ol 87-95 X Im Chaveiro “Picture” the details of someone’s struggle in our mind and imagine A 87 ourselves experiencing it Nesiah B’ol communicates the message: “You are not alone, I am with you in B 89 your struggles,” even if we have no tangible solution for their problem Leaving the boundaries of “self” to see life situations from the other person’s C 90 perspective Focusing our prayers to request Divine help for people in need, fosters D 91 feelings of Nesiah B’ol E Listening and empathizing in an attentive and non-judgmental manner 92 Acts of kindness, whether large or small, foster authentic feelings of F 93 Nesiah B’ol, even if they start out on a perfunctory level XI Klal Yisroel’s responsibility to be Noseh B’ol with all mankind 96-97 XII Stories of awesome Nesiah B’ol demonstrated by great Torah scholars 98-100 on behalf of our distressed brethren 101-102 ”עת רצון“ Conclusion: Creating an Summary Summary: Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro: Definition, importance, and applications 103-104 Table Appendix Rav Chatzkel Levenstein: A Jew’s obligation to respond empathically and 105-106 A to share in the suffering of all mankind. References 107-110 vi Note: To avoid confusion, there are two different terms followed by a specific number, included within parenthesis: “Source”, e.g., “Source III-1”: This refers to the sources, i.e., Hebrew texts and translation, which are quoted in this presentation. Sections I-X, each have multiple “source boxes” which contain these source texts. For example, in Section II, the source boxes are numbered as: Source II-1, Source II-2, Source II-3, etc. Therefore, when a note, “Source II-3,” is found within the text of a paragraph, it is a cross-reference to the third source box in Section II. (Exception: The source boxes in the “Introduction” section are numbered as Source A-1, Source A-2). “Ref.”, e.g., “Ref. 7”: This is used to denote the cited references, which are enumerated in detail in the “References” list on pp. 107-110. For example, when a note, “Ref. 7,” is found within the text of a paragraph, the details of this citation are found on p. 107. Moreover, “Ref. 7,” is found many times, followed by different page numbers, e.g. “Ref. 7, p. 359” or, “Ref. 7, pp. 201-202”. These page numbers indicate the page number within citation # 7 (Reb Chatzkel, by Rabbi Yitzchak Kasnett). Introduction Introduction What characteristic could be defined as a singularly Jewish trait? The Gemara in Mesechta Yevamos (79a) states that Dovid Hamelech said, “There are three defining characteristics of this nation: They are merciful, exhibit shame and perform acts of kindness.” Yet, we know that much kindness (chesed) is also conducted by the other nations? Rav Matisyahu Salomon explains that there are two types of chesed: Ordinary chesed, and a special type of “chesed which emanates from the source of the Jewish soul,” (see Source III-9; p.