THE BOOK OF By ERIS KALLISTI DISCORDIA Goddess of Chaos and Mother of us All In which the GODDESS explains everything to no one in particular. This being a Holy Discordian Bible, One of Five predicted by Malcalypse the Younger being an Advanced Course into The Erisian Mysterees WHICH IS EVEN MORE INTERESTING THE REVELATION OF ST. VERTHAINE THE GOTH And lo, there I was, decked out in my finest gothic and leather clothing, sipping a White Russian at the bar of my favourite goth club, and contemplating the sad state of the world. I lit up a clove and turned to watch the leatherboys, gothchicks, and vampyre wannabees do bad Tai Chi on the dance floor. All of a sudden everything froze, but only I and the music was still active. A beautiful woman in black leather and rainbow colored hair appeared on the dance floor. I couldn't keep my eyes off her. Her eyes shone like the sun Each move of her delicate arms told the story of Creation. She walked up to me and said "I am ERIS KALLISTI DISCORDIA. I am the Goddess of Chaos. With me all things are possible. I have come to you to teach you many things, Verthaine. " I fell on my knees and cried out "I am not worthy!" She looked at me and smiled. "All are worthy in the eyes of chaos. Stand up my silly goth boy, for I have something of importance to ask of you" I stood up, and awaited with anticipation of what a goddess like Eris would ask me to do. "Your wish is my command, " I said. She smiled at me, and with a twinkle in her eyes she said onto me: "Can you spare one of those clove cigarettes?" And thus I was enlightened. Discordianism/Erisianism St. Hugh, KSC, KNS "If religion is the opiate of the masses, then Discordianism is the alcohol, caffeine, and something-or-other of the lunatic fringe. " -Somebody Important at Some Point Anyone familiar with the Discordians knows the difficulties inherent in describing a vibrant aspect of Paganism that claims to "have no definition. " With one of the major trends of Discordianism being one of decentralization and disagreement, is there a way to adequately describe it? To be true to Discordia (the Latin name of our primary Goddess, Eris), I would have to say 'yes, no, and maybe'. To start with, there are scores of Discordian cabals across the world and, thanks to the Internet, Discordian writings and ideas are proliferating. The two most famous Discordian groups are POEE and the Erisian Liberation Front. Even though many people look at the plethora of humorous writings and dismissit as a religion, Discordians take their humorous traditions very seriously. to a point. A tradition, or a set of traditions based around the Goddess Eris is by nature paradoxical and difficult to pin down. But it is, in my opinion, time that other Pagans realize that Eris worshippers are just as respectable as any other group, despite the fact that we laugh at ourselves and others. History/Her Story/Eris Comes Out of Her Closet The foundation of the Discordian movement in modern times comes from the paradoxical writing collection known as the "Principia Discordia, or How I found the Goddess and what I did with Her when I found Her. " It tells the story of two young men in a bowling alley who receive the first Erisian Revelation back in 1957 or 58. (In true Discordian fashion, which year is never cleared up. ) The men go on a search of mythologies and discover Eris, the Goddess of Confusion, Chaos, and Discord. (Eris is also the Greek word for 'strife'. ) They surmised that chaos underlies everything, including order and the followers of order. "Look around and you can see all of the chaos in everything just as much as you can see order. " The two men declare themselves to be High Priests of their own madness and start a Discordian Society "for whatever that may turn out to be. " The explosion of the American counter-culture and the revival of surrealism met Discordianism (1960's and 70's) and the result was a Neo-Pagan parody religion of mirth and laughter. During this time the two main groups of the Discordian Society, POEE 'the Paratheo-Anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric' and the Erisian Liberation Front set down the major practices and ideas that have since influenced later groups of Discordians, most of which were included in later editions of the Principia Discordia. It can also be said (although, many people will argue against this) that the post-modern magical phenomenon of Chaos Magic developed under Discordian influences. The main difference between Discordians and Chaos Mages is that Discordians revere the Goddess Eris, whereas Chaos Mages revere whatever works at the moment. Discordian thought runs a full spectrum from believers in a literal Goddess Eris to those who hold a healthy agnosticism towards all gods. Today there are several active Discordian groups known as 'cabals' which continue to develop and practice Discordian ideas and rituals. POEE is still around, although it is debated whether or not the ELF still exists. Some of the active groups today are the Church of No Dead Saints in San Francisco, the Discordian Intelligence Agency, which is scattered in places as far afield as Australia, Germany, and Pennsylvania, and the Purple Monkey Mafia/Cabal which started in Chicago but claims to have members in LA, Paris, and Seattle. There are many other groups, too numerous to list here. (Please refer to the list of website links below. ) The organization of the groups within the Discordian Society (or without, as some groups will no doubt claim) is decentralized. Usually people will either join a pre-existing cabal, or if Eris decides to give new revelations, will start their own cabal. Within cabals there is usually an 'episkopos', who is responsible for the rituals, revelations, and organization. Thus it can be said that each cabal may choose its own organization. The major trend is towards non-hierarchy as episkoposes are known to hand off the leadership mantle whenever they see fit. Beliefs? Standards of Conduct? One of the main tenets of Discordianism is that 'it is a firm belief that it is a mistake to hold firm beliefs'. That said, it is possible (though highly disagreeable) to pin down a few ideas that are common among Discordians. One is a dedication to personal 'illumination' by exploring as many belief systems as possible so that a person will realize the absurdity of taking any idea too far. Another idea is 'if it makes you cry, it is real; if it makes you laugh, then it is probably true. ' Discordians worship Eris, who is probably the most paradoxical being people could ever worship. If they don't worship Her then they explore Her in some way or another. They see in Her a symbol of freedom from all constraints and a license to become the best person one can be. Why should the self be limited to circumstances of birth and upbringing, or even a single ego? Eris was much maligned and feared by the ancients as the embodiment of disorder. But from a perspective that sees chaos as underlying everything, Eris is an embodiment of ultimate creativity. All things need to come apart for new things to grow. Most Discordians will refer to the story known as the 'Original Snub' which explains a little bit about Eris. In this story, the Olympians assembled at a feast on Mount Olympus (called Limbo Peak by Discordians). They decide not to invite Eris due to Her reputation for causing chaos and strife. When Eris finds this out, She decides to get even with the Olympians by making a golden apple and carving the word 'kallisti' (to the prettiest) on its side. She sneaks up to the banquet hall and rolls the apple inside. Once the Olympians see this, they immediately set to fighting each other over who deserves the apple. From this point in the story, the various accounts diverge. Discordians take solace in this story whenever they themselves are snubbed. They also use it as an example of active defiance in the face of unwarranted exclusion. The story begs the question 'if Eris was so bad, how come it was the rest of the Olympians who caused the commotion?' Eris can be seen, in this light, as the one who makes you realize the inherent capacity for strife you already have. The 'Original Snub' is said to be the foundation myth of Discordianism, if such a thing could be said. Another approach to that myth is to see the apple as the world and all it has to offer. To whom would Eris say it belonged? Kallisti. the prettiest one. And who is the prettiest one? We all are. If only we could realize it. Another important myth is the 'Curse of Grayface', which explains how people lost touch with the happy anarchy of creative chaos and become shackled to 'order'. Grayface is a humorless person who proceeds to deceive others into believing that order and seriousness should be the foundation of existence. This myth explains the origins of negativity and destructive chaos, which according to Discordianism, can only happen when order is imposed. The Curse of Grayface is as much a parody of other traditions' ideas of "what-went- wrong" as it is a clear insight into the nature of human mentality. One thing we have in common with the very beautiful Wiccan 'Charge of the Goddess' is the most famous 'Charge of Eris' which goes: "I have come to tell you that you are free.