DISSERTATION HOW STUDENTS EXPERIENCE THEIR CHRISTIAN FAITH IN THE PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL: A NARRATIVE STUDY Submitted by Bernadine Marie Moreno-Knittel School of Education In partial fulfillment of the requirements For the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy Colorado State University Fort Collins, Colorado Spring 2012 Doctoral Committee: Advisor: Sharon Anderson Co-Advisor: Timothy Davies Carole Makela Mary Poplin Randall Swaim Copyright by Bernadine Marie Moreno-Knittel 2012 All Rights Reserved ABSTRACT HOW STUDENTS EXPERIENCE THEIR CHRISTIAN FAITH IN THE PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL: A NARRATIVE STUDY This study was a result of professional experience working with Christian students in a public high school and how they integrated their Christian faith into the academic, social/emotional, and career domains identified in the American School Counseling Association (ASCA) model. In addition the researcher’s personal reflection about her Christian worldview influenced her professionally and personally as well as enabled her to gain knowledge and understanding of her beliefs and values. With narrative inquiry it is imperative that the researcher possesses the same background knowledge in order to fully understand the experiences of the interviewees and in return write their story with fidelity by keeping their voice central to the research. In the school counseling literature spirituality is considered important and worthy of exploration; however, researchers encourage school counselors to view it as “meaning making” rather than in a religious context. That said, counselors are encouraged to incorporate spirituality into a Comprehensive School Counseling Program as long as religion is kept separate. The researcher chose narrative inquiry to share the stories of four Christian students’ experiences in a public high school. These students share their Christian upbringing and how a variety of micro-systems including family, church, youth camps and other religious activities, and peers influenced their faith. The students share how they integrated their faith into the classroom; relationships with faculty, peers, boyfriend ii or girlfriend; extracurricular activities; decision making; and coping. In addition three of the four students shared their experiences transitioning into higher education. Their individual stories are presented in letter format with a composite interpretation of the four stories. The researcher shares her findings with three audiences including the research community, professional colleagues, and the students’ parents. The researcher’s hope is these audiences will listen to these four students’ experiences related to their Christian walk in a public high school and gain an understanding and appreciation for their Christian worldview. Equally important is that readers engage in personal reflection of their own worldview and how this impacts how they work and relate to the students they teach, counsel, and or raise. iii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS The journey to the PhD was my hardest undertaking and at times I did not know if I would finish, but I am happy to say WE DID IT! This celebration goes far beyond me because without the love and support of ALL of you this degree would be unattainable. As I reflect back on the amazing and overwhelming support I received from you during this gargantuan endeavor, I am deeply appreciative and blessed. Some of you were my editors, readers, teachers, and cheerleaders. Others lifted me up in prayer and/or sent many encouraging emails, texts, or Facebook messages. I must express an overwhelming thank you to my husband, Donnie Knittel, and children (Marcus, Ana, and Cole) who sacrificed right along with me. Either you went on vacation without me or under very strict conditions including Internet access and room for my boxes of dissertation materials. Your patience and understanding were monumental to my successful completion! To my parents, Raymond and Rachel Moreno, thank you for being my place of refuge and instilling in me from the time I was a little girl the importance of an education! Because of you, I have a high school diploma, Associate degree, Bachelor’s degree, Master’s degree, and now a Doctorate! Your unconditional love and willingness to sacrifice for me provided me with the mindset that I can accomplish my heart’s desire; you are my biggest cheerleaders! I wish to thank my committee members, Dr. Carole Makela, Dr. Tim Davies, Dr. Sharon Anderson, Dr. Randall Swaim, and Dr. Poplin for all your help. You were an amazing committee to work with. A special thanks to Nancy Branlund and Laurie Johnson for serving as my editors. Your help was so appreciated! Laurie, thanks for iv helping me with the transcription. I would have never finished this without your help! In addition I want to thank my best friend, Diana Ainsworth and her late husband, John Ainsworth for their prayers and support. A special thank you to the students involved in this project without your involvement this dissertation would have never happened so thank you. Your stories are an inspiration and I enjoyed my time with each of you. Finally, but most important thank you to my Heavenly Father, it was by your grace that I was able to see this dissertation to completion. Blessings, v PREFACE Cultural Identity I am a 43 year-old, Mexican-American woman. When people ask me what my ethnicity is I respond, “Hispanic or Mexican-American”. I respond this way because this is how I identify myself when filling out forms that inquire about my ethnic background. I am a third generation United States citizen on my paternal side and second generation on my maternal side. As a young child, I saw myself as an American with brown skin. I did not grow up speaking Spanish. The only time I heard the language of my ancestors was when I went to visit my grandparents. My parents believed they would do my brothers and me more harm by having us learn Spanish, so they did not teach us Spanish or speak Spanish in the home. Contributing to their decision was their own negative school experiences as both my parents were reprimanded for speaking Spanish in school. It did not occur to me until I grew older how not learning Spanish actually hindered me. I say this yet I did not teach my own children how to speak Spanish. If it were possible, I would send my youngest child to a bilingual school. I think it is important to know another language and possibly after I finish my graduate work I can master the Spanish language. Language is not the only disconnection I feel from my Mexican heritage. I do not know many of the Mexican traditions. I never had a quinceañera nor does my family celebrate “Dia de los Muertos.” A quinceañera is the celebration of a young girl transitioning from childhood to womanhood on her 15th birthday. As a rite of passage it is celebrated with a fancy dress, dancing, and lots of food. Dia de los Muertos or the Day vi of the Dead is a Mexican holiday where families gather to pray and remember family members who have died. I do not feel cheated because I did not grow up celebrating these traditions. I do wonder, however, how my life might have been different had I grown up in a more traditional Mexican culture. I definitely feel privileged growing up “Americanized”. I feel my birth in the United States is a privilege. As a citizen of the United States of America, I earned a college education and the freedom, to a certain degree, to worship my God publically. I am not ashamed to be Mexican, yet I do not wave my Mexican flag because I am a Mexican-American. The United States of America is the milieu I grew up in, and I am both proud and thankful to be a United States citizen. Again, I feel my status as an American has enabled me to live a life of freedom and opportunity. As an American, I do not feel oppressed because I am a woman or non-white. I believe oppression stems from social economic status and religious preference more than any other variables. I say this because if anything has contributed to my sense of inferiority, it is a direct result of the social class in which I grew up. This is not to say that I have never experienced racial oppression or any other type of oppression. Nor do I feel these experiences should be ignored. But in my life story, the experience of growing up poor directly influenced my education and worldly knowledge. My family was too poor to take trips to Europe or even travel within the United States; this resulted in my lack of worldly knowledge. I did not sit at the dinner table dialoging about politics, of which I am thankful. In fact, my family very seldom sat at the table as a family. I grew up in the TV tray culture. Mom made a delicious meal and we sat in the family room with my father watching TV. What I am trying to convey is my parents did not have the resources vii to provide me with the background to engage in intellectual and stimulating conversations. It is in this realm that I feel most inferior. In no way do I blame my parents; rather I applaud my parents for instilling in me the importance of an education. My dad was tough on us when it came to education and back then I thought he was mean, but he loved me so much he wanted me to excel so that is why he pushed. Even though we did limited traveling and did not sit at the dinner table engaged in dialogues about current affairs, his expectation for his children to learn and do well in school was always present.