The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits Compiled by R. Gary Hendra, the MacScouter [email protected], http://www.macscouter.com Table of Contents Title Page Title Page Introduction 1 Cub Olympics 18 Staging Skits 1 Cub Scout Socks 19 Other Sources of Skits 2 Cub Shop 19 Damn! (or should I say Darn?) 19 The Big Book of Skits 3 Dancing Knee Dolls 20 The Airplane 3 The Dangerous Tent 20 Airplane Short Runway 3 The Dead Body 20 All Face 3 The Den Mother's Bouquet 20 American Folk Tale Skit 3 Did You Have V-8? 20 The Ants 4 Dinner Special 21 Artistic Genius 4 Doctor! Doctor! 21 The Great Aug 4 Doctor's Office 21 The Babies & Dads 5 Doggie Doctor 21 Backpacking 5 Doggie Doo 22 A Bad Turn 5 The Dumb Actors 22 Balloon Orchestra 5 Easter Bunny 23 The Baseball Game 6 The Echo 23 Bear Hunt 6 Echo, again! 23 Bee Sting 6 Echo Point 23 The Beer Commercial 7 Elevated Gum 24 Bell Ringer #1 7 The Elevator 24 Bell Ringer # 2 8 Emergency Room Doctor 24 Bell Ringer # 3 8 The Enlarging Machine 24 Be Prepared 8 Eskimo Pie 25 The Best Spitter In The World 8 The Failed Reporter 25 The Better Thief 8 The Fire 25 The Bicycle Shop 9 Firebuilding 26 Big Game Hunting 9 The Firing Squad 26 Big Itch 9 Fish Market 26 The Bigger Jerk 9 Fishin' 26 The Biggest Turkey 9 Fishing 27 Black Bart 10 Fishing on a Park Bench 27 The Blanket Tossing Team 10 Fishing Success 27 Blindfold 10 The Fishing Trip 27 Bonfire 10 Flasher 27 Border Crossing 10 Flea 28 Brain Shop 11 The Flea Circus 28 Brain Transplant 11 Flora the Flea 28 The Briefcase 11 Fly in the Soup 29 A Brotherhood of Scouting 12 Flying High 29 The Bubble Gum on the Street 13 Fly in the Soup 29 The Bubble Gum in the Studios 13 Food, Water & Mirror on the Sahara 29 Buffalo Stories 13 The Fortune Teller 29 Bus Driver 14 Four Leaf Clover 30 C.P.R. 14 The Four Seasons 30 Camel Patrol 14 Fred the Trained Flea 30 Camp Coffee Sketch 14 Friends of Years 30 Can You Do This? 14 The Frightened Hunter 30 The Candy Shop 15 Game Show 31 The Candy Store 15 Gathering of the Nuts I 31 Candy Store 15 Gathering of the Nuts II 31 Candy Store (variation) 15 The General Store 31 Change Underwear 15 The Ghost of Midnight 32 Chewing Gum 15 Ghost With One Black Eye 32 Chief Shortcake 16 Ghostcatchers 32 Chin Faces 16 Giant Worm 33 Climb That 16 Glass of Water 33 The Compass 16 Go Cart 33 The Complaining Monk 17 Gone Fishin' 33 Contagious Disease Ward 17 The Good Samaritan 33 Court Case 17 Good Soup 34 Court Scene 17 Granny! Wake Up! 34 Crazy Charlie 17 Granny's Candy Store 34 Cub Cookout 18 The Greatest Spitter in the World 35 Table of Contents (Continued) Title Page Title Page Grease 35 The Lost Lollipop 53 Green Side Up! Green Side Up! 35 The Lost Quarter 53 The Greyhound Bus 35 Lunch Break 53 The Growing Machine 36 Mad Reporter 54 The Hair Cut Machine 36 The Magic Bandanna 54 Hairy Hamburger 36 The Magic Doctor's Chair 54 Harlem Globetrotters 36 Martian Mamma 55 Have You Seen my Belly Button? 36 Measurement Problem 55 The Heart Attack 37 Medical Genius 55 Heaven's Gate 37 Military Genius 55 Herman, The Trained Flea 37 Mixed Body Acting 55 Hiccup for Me 37 Mixed Up Magic 55 The Highest Tree climber in the World 37 The Motorcycle Gang 56 A Hot Meal! 38 The Motorcycle Shop 56 How do I do That? 39 Mr. Kerplunk 56 How Indians Tell Time at Night 40 Musical Genius 57 How to Make the Team 40 Musical Toilet Seat Salesman 57 How to Wash An Elephant 40 Nanook 57 I Gotta Go Wee 40 Napoleon's Last Farewell 58 Igor 41 The New Badge 58 I'm Gonna Get You! 41 The New Car 58 I'm Russian! 41 New Saw 59 The Important Papers 42 News Flash! 59 The Important Meeting 42 No Rocket Scientist 60 In the Furniture Store 42 Nosebleed 60 The Infantry 42 No Skit 60 The Injury 43 Nutty Fisherman 60 The Inspection 43 The Nurses 61 Intelligence 43 Offensive Bus Passenger 61 In the Furniture Store 43 Oh-Wa-Ta-Goo-Siam 61 The Invisible Bench 43 The Old Gum 61 Is a Train Passing Today? 44 Old Movie Scene 61 Is Captain Kidd Afraid of Himself? 44 Old Socks 61 Is It Time Yet? 44 The Olde Lighthouse 62 I Gotta Go Weee! 45 Olympic Drama 62 J.C. Penney 45 OOOOOO A Bug! 62 Join the Army! 46 The Operation 62 Joke Teller 46 The Outhouse in the Yangtze River 62 Jumbo Burgers 46 The Outhouse Sketch 63 The Jump 46 The Outlaw 63 Karate Orientale 47 Over the Cliff 63 Keep Canada Beautiful Contest 47 The Page (The Skit) 64 Knot Demonstration 47 Painting the Walls 64 The King's Raisins 47 Panther Tracks 64 Knot Demonstration 48 The Parachute 64 The Land Shark 48 The Party Warehouse 65 The Lawn Mower I 48 Pass the Pepper 65 The Lawnmower II 49 Patience, Jackass, Patience! 65 Learning English 49 Peanuts 66 Learning the Alphabet 49 Peanuts in the Lake 66 Let Me Have It! 49 Pencils 67 Letters from Home 50 Pet Shop 68 Lie Detector 50 Pickin' Cotton 68 The Lighthouse Sketch 50 Pickpocket 69 The Lighthouse 51 Pickpockets 69 Lightening Strike 51 Pickpockets #2 69 Lights, Camera, Action 51 Pie in the Face 69 Litter Hurts 52 The Pilfered Warehouse 69 Little Green Ball 52 The Pirate Family 70 Listen at the Wall 52 Plane Landing 70 Living Xylophone 52 Play Ball 70 Lobster Tail 52 PLC Meeting 70 The Loon Hunt 52 Poison Spring 71 Lost Item around Campfire 53 The Poor Excuses 71 The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- iii -- January 1997 Table of Contents (Continued) Title Page Title Page Pop Commercial 71 Thar's a Bear 90 Post Office / King's Royal Paper 71 There's a Bear! 90 Potted Plant 72 The Thinker 90 Presents for the Teacher 72 The Thirsty Donkey 91 Prisoner 72 The Thirsty Fisherman 91 The Professor's Address 72 Three Against 1000 91 Puppy in the Box 72 Three Rivers 91 A Quiet Day 73 Three Rivers II 92 Raisin 73 Three Scoops 92 Real Thing 73 Ticket Line 92 Reggie and the Colonel 74 Time on the Park Bench 93 The Restaurant 74 Timothy Eaton 93 Restaurant Minutes 74 Toothache 93 Rise, Walk, and Kill, Igor 75 Toothpaste 93 River Run 75 Tracks 93 Rowing 75 The Trained Caterpillar 94 Salesman 75 The Train Skit 94 Saloon 76 The Trees 94 Sarge And The Private 76 Trick or Treat 94 School's on Fire 76 Trimming the Christmas Tree 95 Scientific Genius 76 Turkey Contest 95 The Scout Uniform 76 The Twelve Days of Christmas 95 Scoutmaster's Brains 77 Twist Mouth Family 96 Scoutmaster's Gift 77 Ugliest Man in the World (or Bad Breath) 96 Scoutmaster's Saw 77 Ugly Baby 96 The Screwy Navel 78 Up Harold 96 Shape Up! 78 Upside Down Singers 97 The Short Runway 78 Vampire Snack 97 The Shrimpy Boxer 79 The Viper is Coming 97 Shut Up! 79 The Wall 97 The Siberian Chicken Farmer 79 The Waiter 98 Sidewalk Climbing 80 Waiter! 98 Singer 81 The Waiting Room 98 Six Wise Travelers 81 Washington's Farewell 98 The Sleep Walker 81 Water, Water! 98 Slug Trainers 81 We Ain't Got the Money for the Mortgage on the Farm 99 The Smart Scout 81 We Hit! 99 Smoke Signals 81 The Weather Man 100 The Sneeze 81 The Well-Trained Elephant 100 Soldier In the Battlefield 82 What the Heck Was That? 100 Someone Chanted Evening 82 What Time is it? 101 Sounds of the Lost Scoutmaster 82 What's the Problem? 101 The Sounds of the Wilderness 82 What's 2+2? 101 Sour Notes 83 Who Sneezed? 102 Space Derby Skit. 83 Why Are You Late? 102 The Special Papers 83 Worlds Greatest Pitcher 102 Spelling Contest 84 The World's Greatest Spitter 102 The Split Ball 84 The World's Ugliest Man 103 SPL's Too Tough To Be Tasty 85 What a Day 103 Spring 85 The Wrong Skit 103 Spring is Sprung! 85 You Don't Say! 103 Star Gazing 86 You Need a Tie, Sir 104 St. Peter 86 You've Broken the Rules! 104 The Statue Warehouse 86 Yukon Winter 104 Statues in the Park 87 3 Guys in Crowded Heaven 105 The Strange Trees 87 49...49...49 105 Submarine 88 The 5th Floor 106 Submarine Patrol 88 7 Jerks on the Line 106 Submarine Training 88 The Successful Fisherman 88 Walk-ons, Run-ons and Other Shorts 108 Super Clutz 88 The Announcement 108 A Talking Martian! 89 Going to Court 108 Tankety Tank 89 Beam Me Up 109 Tenting 90 Smoke Signals 109 The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- iv -- January 1997 Table of Contents (Continued) Title Page Title Page Little Brother 109 Squirrels 109 Its All Around Me! 109 Leaving 109 Pulling String 109 All Over Me 109 Throwing Up 110 Fire Drill 110 Alien 110 The Ruler 110 I'm a Rabbit 110 Missed 110 Pop Quiz 110 Wait! Wait! 110 What a Day 111 The Nutty Fisherman 111 Bee Sting 111 Finale 111 The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- v -- January 1997 Introduction The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits is the result of compiling skits from various Internet Scouting sources, and lots of creative people.