THE PRACTICE AND DYNAMICS OF AUTHENTICITY: AN ORGANIC RESEARCH STUDY by William G. Kueppers A dissertation submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Transpersonal Psychology Institute of Transpersonal Psychology Palo Alto, California May 13, 2004 I certify that I have read and approved the content and presentation of this dissertation: ____William Braud, Ph.D. _____________ _5/14/04___ William Braud, Ph.D., Committee Chairperson Date ____Hillevi Ruumet, Ph.D. _____________ _5/18/04___ Hillevi Ruumet, Ph.D., Committee Member Date ____ Paul Roy, Ph.D. __________________ _6/02/04___ Paul Roy, Ph.D., Committee Member Date ____ Paul Roy, Ph.D. __________________ _6/02/04___ Paul Roy, Ph.D., Dean, Residential Program Date Copyright © William G. Kueppers 2004 All Rights Reserved ii Dedication With tremendous gratitude this dissertation is dedicated to all my teachers, both formal and informal, but especially Jack Lane and Tom Etten both of whom, each in their own way, contributed so immensely to shaping the design of my life path. iii Intention: That all energy that flows into and out of this dissertation be aligned with and in loving service to the Divine Will. That all energy that flows into and out of this dissertation be in service of the Highest Good: of myself, of all connected with it, and of Gaia. iv Abstract The Practice and Dynamics of Authenticity: An Organic Research Study by William G. Kueppers This study focused upon the following compound of concerns: Given the complexity of our nature, what in practice does it mean to be truly authentic, how does one discern what-is-so, what motivates the authentic response, and most centrally, what results—both for self and others—when one acts or does not act authentically? Do short- and long-term outcomes support or discourage further authenticity? Guided by organic inquiry, the study interviewed 9 pairs of participants—9 coresearchers plus a secondary participant they each identified as being primarily affected by their authenticity. It explored the coresearchers’ process for discernment and the short- and long-term outcomes of their authentic expression both for themselves and their respective secondary participants. Coresearchers reported similarly on inauthentic incidents, including why they classified them as such, and concluded with what authenticity means to them. Results showed that they generally discerned their authenticity by assessing internal feelings and body cues. A fear for themselves was the primary concern, although internal and external pressures often motivated coresearchers to overcome fears. When authentic, outcomes for coresearchers in the short-term were either life-enhancing or mixed, but long-term outcomes were strongly life-enhancing. Secondary participants reported mixed experiences in the short-term, but consistently expressed long-term outcomes as life- enhancing. Outcomes from self-perceived inauthenticity showed that short-term outcomes for coresearchers were generally life-diminishing, although long-term v outcomes for themselves were mostly life-promoting, as they generally grew from the experiences. Coresearchers mostly perceived inauthenticity outcomes for others as life- diminishing. Overall findings suggest that although fears pose resistance to authenticity, outcomes generally warrant moving beyond the resistance and trusting that the outcomes for all will be the most life-promoting, at least in the long-term and possibly in the short- term also. As authenticity is seen as developmental, rooted in awareness, findings suggest compassion toward perceived inauthenticity, for coresearchers were found to be as authentic as developmentally possible in the moment. vi Acknowledgments To all my coresearchers and secondary participants who made this study possible, whose openness forms the heart and soul of this dissertation, To my outstanding dissertation committee, true gifts of the universe: William Braud, committee chairperson, who from the very outset, provided extraordinary support and guidance for the outer dissertation, and who so magnificently and compassionately honored my “inner dissertation” as well; Hillevi Ruumet, who blessed me with her deep wisdom, grace, and insightful observations; Paul Roy, who graciously came on board midstream and whose warmth and enthusiasm supported me in ways that truly buoyed my spirits; Dwight Judy, my Expert Outside Reader, who provided vital commentary and deeply appreciated moral support To Jennifer Clements, who has beautifully shepherded and articulated organic inquiry, and magically brought it into my life at just the right moment To Genie Palmer, Dissertation Coordinator, who lovingly guided and championed me through the various stages of the process To ITP’s always resourceful and patient library staff, Peter Hirose, Sharon Hamrick, Katrina Rahn, and Lucy Erman, who unfailingly served with warmth and grace To Carol Iwamoto and Paul DeLapa, whose invaluable support during the preproposal stage made it possible for the dissertation to actually get off the ground at all To my dissertation-doing buddies, Diane Schwedner and Mark Kaplan, who consistently sustained me with their deep integrity, rich insights, and solid encouragement To the truly delightful and caring members of my two dissertation support groups, Shirley Loffer, Lynn Kearney, and Jane Sholem, who nurtured the earlier stages, and Gloria Beaird, Pat Moorehead, and Diane Schwedner, who provided guidance and vii inspiration through the middle stages To my spiritual director, Jim Neafsey, who masterfully guided my discernment of Spirit at critical junctures To Carolyn Dawn, who vitally assisted with soliciting coresearchers; Christine Evans, who graciously supplied transcription equipment; and Lulu Torbet who generously donated editorial support To all of my family, especially my sister, Sue Kueppers, who so lovingly and generously supported me in so many different ways during this lengthy process, and my niece Lara Kueppers, who inspired me to keep pace with her own dissertation process at nearby UC Berkeley (she finished a few months ahead of me), and who so heartily championed my every notable success To Paul DeLapa, who has provided incalculable friendship and support from my Day One at ITP, and whose own deep authenticity continues to be a steady beacon for me; Marilyn Veltrop, cherished soul-sister who led me to ITP, and who, since our days in Boston, has significantly contributed to my understanding and practice of authenticity by her exquisite example and reflections; and Christine Sullivan, whose presence, authenticity, and ongoing friendship has played a major role in this project To Loren Crofton, Megan Freeman, Peter Hale, Ophelia Lewis, the Debra and Eberhard Mehling family, Monica Planes, Cynthia Sico, and Lulu Torbet, who have nurtured me during this project in their own unique and important way To all of the above, and all those not specifically named who supported me during this project, I express my deepest appreciation and gratitude. viii The . point is made by the Hasidic rabbi, Susya, who shortly before his death said, “When I get to heaven they will not ask me, ‘Why were you not Moses?’ Instead they will ask, ‘Why were you not Susya? Why did you not become what only you could become?’” (Yalom, 1980, p. 278) ix x Table of Contents Dedication.......................................................................................................................... iii Intention............................................................................................................................. iv Abstract............................................................................................................................... v Acknowledgements........................................................................................................... vii Epigram.............................................................................................................................. ix List of Tables .................................................................................................................. xvii List of Figures................................................................................................................ xviii Chapter 1: Introduction....................................................................................................... 1 Focus of Study ........................................................................................................ 2 Significance of Study.............................................................................................. 3 Research Method .................................................................................................... 5 Invitation to Reader................................................................................................. 6 Chapter 2: Literature Review.............................................................................................. 7 Authenticity............................................................................................................. 9 The Self................................................................................................................. 16 Challenges to Authenticity.................................................................................... 36 Will ....................................................................................................................... 40 Discernment